Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

What do you call a man with a pile of leaves on his head?

Russel.

 

[davenn]

What do you call a man with a pile of leaves on his head?

Russel.

that went over me

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 369445

I think I've told this one before, but I had a bottle of deionised water that said on it "do not dilute".

 

[Ibix]

that went over me

Rustle.

 

[WWGD]

I ate too much today at the restaurant. I had a buffet overflow.

 

[DrGreg]

I ate too much today at the restaurant. I had a buffet overflow.

I ate too much today at the French restaurant. I thought "mange tout" was a command.

 

[Borg]

I thought that my athletic performance was noteworthy but the coach removed the e.

 

[Swamp Thing]

 

[jtbell]

Happy Superb Owl Sunday!

 

[WWGD]

Happy Superb Owl Sunday!

View attachment 369472

Who?

 

[Ibix]

Who?

Isn't he the new leader of China?

 

[WWGD]

Isn't he the new leader of China?

I know he let the dogs out.

 

[gmax137]

Mr Eleven is the President of China.

 

[jtbell]

Who?

He Hoo!

 

[jtbell]

Be careful what you eat while watching the big game, or else you'll have a...

 

[WWGD]

He Hoo!

In Harvard, owls are so well educated, they say ' Whom', instead of ' who'.

 

[WWGD]

Most Taiwanese people have a Taipei personality.

 

[Borg]

I'm sure @phinds would agree with this.

 

[WWGD]

Saw an old video about the Jeffrey Dahmer trial. His lawyer said : " Your honor, if you are what you eat, my client is innocent". Later on, discussing the evidence: " Was anything found in his shower?". A: " Yes, Head and Shoulders".

 

[jtbell]

How to train for curling:

 

[nsaspook]

Engineer 1: My girlfriend wants me to go line dancing.
Engineer 2: What the hell is line dancing?
Engineer 3: It's like square dancing, but with one less dimension.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[DennisN]

Infinite energy!

 

[davenn]

ohhh ma gosh haha

 

[jtbell]

Cockroach 1, flyswatter 0.

 

[symbolipoint]

As long as you are trying to keep score, you try to whack a cockroach on a thick or fluffy rug, you can give the swatter 0, and the cockroach at least 5; until you are fast enough and decide to STEP on it.

 

[WWGD]

Curious as to what is in the book "How to dis appear". "Apples are way better than you"?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]