Dismiss Notice
Join Physics Forums Today!
The friendliest, high quality science and math community on the planet! Everyone who loves science is here!

College student dating her TA: privacy vs. academic integrity

  1. Dec 18, 2007 #1

    EnumaElish

    User Avatar
    Science Advisor
    Homework Helper

    I thought of posting this under "Academic guidance," then decided to post here.

    This friend of mine (I'll call him Jack) has a female friend (Holly) who lives in Europe and whose college-age daughter, Emma, is a freshman in a major U.S. college. Holly asked Jack to check on Emma once in a while.

    Emma visits Jack's family during holidays; they converse and have food together.

    Jack told me that in her last visit Emma told him that she has been going out with her TA. Jack asked for my advice as to what, if anything, would be the appropriate action for him.

    He could: (a) say or do nothing, (b) tell Emma "she should have thought twice before going out with her TA," or (c) alert Emma's mother to the fact.

    Options (b) and (c) could imply infringement of Emma's privacy, and trust. Option (a) could potentially mean turning a blind eye to the possibility of Emma's involvement in similar relationships in the future.

    What do you think is the appropriate action for Jack?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 18, 2007 #2
    (d) not jacks business.

    People are free to date who they want to. Its the TAs responsiblity to know better if he gets into trouble.

    Edit: He should ask her if the TA has changed any of his grading based on their relationship, and if so warn her that she could possibly fail the course. (Probably not likely, I would guess it would be the TA that gets into trouble more).
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2007
  4. Dec 18, 2007 #3
    (b), but a bit milder, as "Jack" where given trust and confidence to look after "Emma" by "Holly".
     
  5. Dec 18, 2007 #4
    Emma is an adult. Plus, dating a TA is nothing that bad. In the end, it's the TAs problem (if it were to become one....)

    Option C shouldn't even be an option. That's just ridiculous. Emma will tell her mom if she so wishes.

    Option B is ok... As long as its a friend to friend kind of talk.

    Option A is also fine.
     
  6. Dec 18, 2007 #5
    tell her mom? No way. He should stay out, she's confiding in him, why should he betray her?
     
  7. Dec 18, 2007 #6
    I wonder if option (c) was put for a laugh. The only good option I see is (d) none of Jacks business.
     
  8. Dec 18, 2007 #7

    Gokul43201

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    I'd ask Emma to make sure there isn't any college rule that will open her up to punishment for dating her TA. Many schools have funny rules.
     
  9. Dec 18, 2007 #8

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    I vote d) also. It's none of Jack's business.

    Get a life too.
     
  10. Dec 18, 2007 #9

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    You have to be ****ing kidding me.
     
  11. Dec 18, 2007 #10
    Good point, I should have mentioned that.
     
  12. Dec 19, 2007 #11

    Hurkyl

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    These responses have been very valuable; your brilliant use of argument by insult followed up by argument by foul language have conclusively settled the issue!
     
  13. Dec 19, 2007 #12
    This is because C seems so outrageous. Nobody in their right mind would think of that!
     
  14. Dec 19, 2007 #13

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    I find it appropriate. I like to keep things at the level of the conversation.
     
  15. Dec 19, 2007 #14
    I would date Emma! Lol kidding

    My say is option b) on a mild, friend to friend talk
     
  16. Dec 19, 2007 #15

    EnumaElish

    User Avatar
    Science Advisor
    Homework Helper

    That's valuable advice; thank you, Gokul.

    It seems to me that Emma is relatively safe because she's "dating up." OTOH, her peers may suspect foul play (e.g. with respect to her grades), and this peer reaction may end up being part of the bargain for her.
     
  17. Dec 19, 2007 #16

    EnumaElish

    User Avatar
    Science Advisor
    Homework Helper

    This is also helpful; thank you.
     
  18. Dec 19, 2007 #17

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    I asked my TA coordinator about that before and basically it came down to basically there are no rules against it.

    It was in the TA's hands to decide. Also, if there was an affect on grades, then obviously action would take place. But action would take place whether or not you're dating someone. If your grades aren't consistent, you better watch yourself.

    Also, I never dated a student in my seminars or even the class itself. Never considered even when it was clear I could have (any TA would know) and I just chose not to for my best interest.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2007
  19. Dec 19, 2007 #18

    J77

    User Avatar

    The OP confused me but...

    Past experience from a UK uni: I had a friend (masters level) who went out with one of the postdocs in the group (TA?) -- people did get funny and it did get quite heavy, with the threat of my mate being chucked off the course.

    I guess it's about protection of data that the postdoc may have known which could've been advantageous to the student.
     
  20. Jul 13, 2011 #19
    Honestly, I don't think Jack needs to do anything. It's one thing to watch out for Emma, but I don't see how 'telling mom' is watching out for her. If he's concerned for her, he can talk to HER about it.
     
  21. Jul 13, 2011 #20

    Vanadium 50

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Education Advisor
    2015 Award

    It's been four years. By now, I would hope he's no longer her TA.
     
Know someone interested in this topic? Share this thread via Reddit, Google+, Twitter, or Facebook

Have something to add?



Similar Discussions: College student dating her TA: privacy vs. academic integrity
  1. Student-Professor Dating (Replies: 32)

  2. College Students (Oi) (Replies: 2)

Loading...