Girls in Engineering-Relationships

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The discussion centers on the dynamics of male-female interactions in academic settings, particularly in engineering and physics classes. The original poster shares experiences from a small Christian school where male peers were shy and intimidated, leading to feelings of loneliness despite interest in forming connections. Insights suggest that the environment at a new school, likely more diverse and less insular, may foster better interactions. Participants emphasize the importance of initiating conversation, as many young men in technical fields may require clear cues to engage. Suggestions include approaching classmates for study help and being proactive in social situations to build confidence and relationships. Overall, the consensus is that taking the initiative can lead to more meaningful interactions and potential romantic connections in a classroom setting.
physicsbunny
In two weeks I will be attending a new school for a 3-2 engineering program. I began college with the intention of eventually becoming a chemist but I fell in love with physics and its applications. Anyway, I just wanted insight into the male-female dynamics in classrooms. My previous school was a very small Christian private school; most of the guys were very shy and downright afraid of interacting with women. I look like a very social popular girl on the outside but really I'm no where near that archetype. At that school, guys (nerds, non-nerds, etc) were extremely afraid to talk to or approach me because apparently I look intimidating. I felt very lonely being the only girl in my physics classes because guys seemed afraid of me. It was only until my last day of school did my friend tell me that she knew at least 15 guys who were interested (5 of them happened to be my entire quantum class) :/ Basically, it would be nice to have a relationship with someone who adores math and science as much as I do. I just dream about doing homework together... *use imagination*.

So...
To what extent could my fantasy become reality and actually have a guy in engineering approach me? (I've been dealing with such "pious" XYs for so long that this question seems pathetic)
From what you've observed, what are the male-female dynamics like in the classroom?
 
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Obviously it varies from individual to individual, but perhaps in an environment such as a Christian college, it just so happened that a high percentage of a particular set of individuals seemed very likely to reside in such an environment, so I wouldn't put too much weight on that experience as a general case.

Perhaps when you enter a more culturally diverse atmosphere with more varying types of religions, viewpoints, mindsets, etc. at your new school, you'll find people to be more interactive than your former institution.

For me, I see no difference between my fellow male and female cohorts, personally. I've never really been interested in women (or men, for that matter) as far as "intimate" relationships go (your traditional, monogamous type of 'dating' thing), so everyone is just another co-worker to me. But I'm sure if you strike as interesting to guys, you will receive more than amiable gestures.
 
PhysicsBunny, you sound designed to appeal to hapless, shy guys.
 
Lower your standards, one 10 is equal to ten 1s.
 
quadreg said:
Lower your standards, one 10 is equal to ten 1s.

Actually, I always felt like that scale is logarithmic of base 2.
2^10 1s would be equivalent to a 10. Oh just imagine having a swarm of 1000 1s all around you... mmm...

physicsbunny, are you sure they were afraid of talking to you or no one made the first move? I myself wouldn't be afraid of talking to a girl, but I doubt I'd go out of my way to actually speak to them in class because I found them attractive or whatever.
Conversation can easily spark if someone speaks the first word - even if it's something short and trivial like "do you even get what the lecturer is talking about?".
 
Men, particularly young, science and engineering types, need clear cues. You may feel you are making your interests obvious, but they (we) often need to be beaten over the head to 'get it'. That said, this issue lessens with time and age as most guys eventually overcome the hesitancy to engage.
 
I know exactly how you feel. I'm a total girly-girl (not saying you are) but nerdy guys always seem intimidated by me. I find that you have to go up to them and start the conversation. By conversation I mean more than just 'Hi.' If you talk to them for a while they'll build up the courage to talk to ask you out. Then when all the other guys see that you're cool they might start to ask you out too. It may not work for you but I've had no trouble with it.
 
If you only want to be be included in the group, you have to work with them. Just go help with their homework or get help. Engineering classes are usually very close-knitted and you know all other people quite well. However, people who choose to work on their own don't get to know many others in the class.

I doubt you can flirt with engineers to know them better :-p Even girls in my class didn't know how to flirt :smile:
 
There were only 2 girls in my engineering class of 305. I wish there had been more. Those 2 were smart and fairly cute, but they got quickly swarmed. Not many ladies in engineering back then.
 
  • #10
If you are looking for a potential boyfriend in your engineering class, I think it's best if you approach them. That's how I met my cute engineering boyfriend! In general, I often found myself approaching my classmates to study or ask questions or make friends in my engineering classes. It was difficult at first but it really boosted up my confidence and I made lots of friends, which are mostly guys.
 
  • #11
Drakkith's Life lesson #1134: If you want something or someone, go and get them. Don't wait around for anyone to approach you, you will only limit yourself.
 
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