Vanadium 50 said:
I'm not a theorist, but SU(3) color is a symmetry. You cannot even tell the colors of the initial state nor the final state, much less the gluon. There's no way to distinguish them, so you need to consider all allowed states in any physical process - what you wrote is unphysical, which might be why it is confusing. The two "colorless" gluons are chosen to make the SU(3) algebra work out OK. That means they have to be orthogonal, and the two states you wrote down are not. You need to flip one of the two signs for green.
QCD is the most mind-boggling part of the Standard Model. Weinberg once said: "The strong interaction is too complicated for the human mind", but this was indeed before the discovery of asymptotic freedom of (many) non-Abelian gauge theories, which makes it plausible on the basis of perturbation theory, why this kind of QFT may describe confinement, but one should keep in mind that confinement is a non-perturbative phenomenon and thus not really understood yet. However, lattice QCD indicates that QCD is indeed the correct theory describing the strong interaction, leading to the observed mass spectrum of the hadrons.
To understand, what's behind this question of color, one has to remember what's observable in QFTs: Observable in the sense of particles are asymptotic free states, i.e., strictly speaking stable particles that move freely in space and have a definite mass. The particles are further specified by intrinsic charge-like quantum numbers, describing the couplings mediated by gauge fields in the Standard Model, like electromagnetic charge and color. Then there are also other charge-like quantum numbers from "accidental symmetries" like the lepton number and the baryon number (the latter being approximately conserved, i.e., conserved under the strong interaction).
Now phenomenologically the strong interaction is confining, i.e., there are no asymptotic free states carrying color. So strictly speaking QCD diagrams with quarks and gluons as external legs are not representing physically observable S-matrix elements. What can be done in perturbative QCD is to describe the hard processes of scattering of quarks and gluons within hadrons which are colorless bound states of quark and antiquark (mesons) or three quarks (baryons). As any charge of a local gauge symmetry color must be strictly conserved, i.e., what's observable are only color-neutral states in the initial state and thus also only color-neutral states in the final state.
Concerning the question, why there are only 8 gluon states and not 9, it's mathematics. Looking at color symmetry as a global rather than a local symmetry, the mathematics of gauge fields imply that these fields have to transform according to the adjoint representation of this symmetry, and SU(3) has 8 generators, and it's a semisimple gauge group, i.e., there are no invariant Abelian subgroups. Thus the 8 gluons transform irreducible under color rotations, and thus there's no color-singlet gluon.
In contrast, looking at the color of states that are given as a Kronecker product of the fundamental representation ##3## and the anti-fundamental representation ##\bar{3}## (which are two inequivalent 3D representations of SU(3)). This refers to the color state of a system consisting of a quark and an antiquark. You can decompose the corresponding product representation ##3 \otimes \bar{3}## into irreducible representations: ##3 \otimes \bar{3} = 1 \oplus 8##. The analysis shows that these are given by the color-antisymmetric singlet state, which is the color-neutral state as adequate for mesons and the totally symmetric state, which build the remaining 8 states and build the adjoint representation as for gluons, i.e., in this sense gluons have the same quantum numbers as quark-antiquark states in the color-octet representation.