Recently i visited an uncle who is a pastor. I've also been trying to learn more about religion and spirituality in general. we got in a little argument that left me terribly unnerved. aside from he's comments that i wouldn't understand this and i wouldn't understand that, and remararks about 'one day i hope you'll see the light' he said a lot of other things that seemed so stupid to me. He told me that his god (christian god) is a jealous god, as stated in the bible. when i said i believed god was an embodyment of love, he told me that though that was true, he still could be merciless. admittedly he can't argue for hill of beans, but i just kept quoting scripture at me and it was just intimidating seeing as he is almost 40 years older than me. when i finally left the conversation, i was so upset, and i hated 'his' god. i wanted nothing to do with christianty or anything relating to it, except jesus, with whom "I'm tight." i left feeling as if god's love was too hard won, and that it was entirely unworth it to bother trying. i have a severe inability to understand how any religion would preach anything but words of love. apparently however i'm completely naive and ignorant. i thought all gods were here to help humans love eachother, but that i guess was just a childish dream, whereas in reality god just once dominion over us and cannot love us enough to grant us free will and the ability to stare him in the face instead of always bowing in prayer.