Micheth said:
the fact that the rider experiences the front lightning bolt first and the rear one later, is simply the trivial fact that the lights reach him at different times
Different times according to his clock, yes. That's what "experiences one first and the other one later"
means.
I'm going to phrase things in terms of the "two clocks accelerating" version of your scenario for the rest of this post, because it's cleaner.
Micheth said:
whereas as the clock readings show, they really happened simultaneously
No, the clock readings being the same shows that those events happened simultaneously
in a particular reference frame--the frame in which the clocks were originally at rest. The clock readings being the same does
not show that those events happened simultaneously
in the rest frame of either of the clocks after they accelerated. (Those are two
different frames, btw, because the clocks are spatially separated.) There is nothing that makes one particular frame's notion of simultaneity the "real" one.
Micheth said:
I understand that SR claims differently, but isn't that merely an interpretation, between saying "it really was non-simultaneous, depending on the reference frame", as opposed to "the rider merely experienced the illusion of non-simultaneity"?
No, the relativity of simultaneity is not an "interpretation", it's a physical fact. To see why, consider a variation on your scenario:
Clock A and clock B are as in the previous version of the scenario: they start off both at rest and synchronized in a particular frame; they both start accelerating at ##t = 0## in that frame, at which instant both of the clocks read ##\tau = 0##; each clock accelerates until it reads ##\Delta \tau##, and then stops accelerating. After each clock stops accelerating, it is moving at speed ##v## in the original rest frame (the same speed for both clocks). Each clock continues to advance after it stops accelerating.
Clock C and clock D start out synchronized and at rest in a frame that is moving with speed ##v## relative to the frame in which clock A and clock B are originally at rest. Their motion is arranged so that clock C is co-located with clock A at the instant that clock A stops accelerating, and clock D is co-located with clock B at the instant that clock B stops accelerating.
Now the physical meaning of relativity of simultaneity is simple: if we suppose that clock C's "zero" of time is chosen so that it reads the same as clock A at the instant when clock C meets clock A, i.e., that clock C reads ##\Delta \tau## at that instant, then clock D will
not read ##\Delta \tau## at the instant at which it meets clock B. Clock D will read an earlier time than ##\Delta \tau## (how much earlier depends on the speed ##v## and the spatial separation between the clocks). So clocks C and A will end up reading the same time from ##\Delta \tau## on (since they are now spatially co-located and at rest relative to each other), but clocks D and B will
not end up reading the same time; they will remain out of sync by the same amount forever.
So now, if you insist on an absolute notion of simultaneity, you have the following paradox: clocks A and B started out synchronized, and clocks C and D started out synchronized. When clock C meets clock A, they read the same time, and continue reading the same time forever after that; when clock D meets clock B, they do not read the same time, and they stay out of sync by the same amount forever after that. So we have two clocks, C and A, both reading the same time, but they are supposedly "synchronized" with two clocks, D and B, that are reading
different times. So which clock are C and A "really" synchronized with at the end--D or B?
The answer SR gives is "neither, because there is no absolute meaning to simultaneity". According to the simultaneity convention of the original rest frame of A and B, clock A (and therefore C) and clock B are synchronized; according to the simultaneity convention of the rest frame of C and D, clocks C (and therefore A) and D are synchronized. There is no contradiction because both senses of simultaneity are just conventions; but the difference in readings between clocks B and D when they are co-located is not a convention, it's a physical fact, and it directly illustrates relativity of simultaneity.