Women's Secrets: Spilled in 47 Hours & 15 Minutes

[drizzle]

Researchers found that women are overcome by a burning desire to share gossip as soon as they hear it.

They will typically spill the beans to at least one other person in 47 hours and 15 minutes.

:/

Depending on who the gossip is about, their boyfriend, husband, best friend or mother are most likely to be the initial recipients of the information.

The study of 3,000 women aged between 18 and 65 also found that four out of ten admitted they were unable to keep a secret – no matter how personal or confidential the news was.

It also found that alcohol usually gives us a helping hand to blurt out secrets – with more than half admitting a glass or two of wine could prompt them to dish the dirt.

Michael Cox, UK Director of Wines of Chile, which commissioned the research to mark Chile's National Day on Friday, said: "It's official – women can't keep secrets.

"We were really keen to find out with this survey how many secrets people are told. What we didn't bank on was how quickly these are passed on by those we confide in.

"No matter how precious the piece of information, it's often out in the public domain within 48 hours.

"That means every single Brit who has confided in a friend should be worried because they don't know where their secret is heading.

"The fact they offload gossip to someone completely unrelated to the matter or in a different social group can be comforting but while nine in ten girls deem themselves trustworthy – they still have spilt the beans.

"And juicy gossip can really flow after a couple of glasses of wine."

The study found the nation's ladies hear three nuggets of gossip a week, but end up passing it on to at least one other person.

Six in 10 end up telling someone completely uninvolved so the person the secret belongs to won't know.

Three in 10 admitted having the urge to reveal someone's secret. Nearly half (45 per cent) disclose secrets just for the weight to be lifted from their shoulders.

However, two thirds end up feeling guilty are passing on secrets.

Three quarters say they are capable of keeping quiet about a secret, and 83 per cent consider themselves 100 per cent trustworthy within each group of friends.

Yet, four in ten admit to gossiping to a close friend from another friendship group.

More than four in ten think it is acceptable to share a friend's secret with someone who does not know them, with over 40 per cent saying their husband is their ultimate confidant.

Intimate issues, true cost of purchases and affairs emerged top of the secret-keeping list, with girls most likely to share a secret chatting face-to-face, on the phone or via a text message.

Fortunately for some though, over a quarter (27 per cent) said they forgot what they were told the following day.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6199822/Women-cannot-keep-a-secret-for-longer-than-47-hours.html"


That reminds me of a joke;

The three fastest ways of communication in the world; telephone, television and tell a women. Still need a faster way? ... Tell her not to tell anyone!


Seriously, what do you think?

 

[hypatia]

I would tend to agree, woman share more gossip then they think. Even I, have talked to another group of friends, about something going on with the first group. It may be gossip, but it also allows me to vent to people who could give me another point of view.

I also never say any thing about anyone that I would not say to their faces. I know my fair share of men who gossip too. While its not like womans gossip, it normally begins with "That A$$ you should hear what he did to his {house, wife, kids, car}!".

If someone asks me not to tell, then I really will, never tell. If I give my promise, I am good for it.

 

[Proton Soup]

i was about 8 years old when i learned not to trust women.

 

[BobG]

Just like in "The Dish", when mayor Bob McIntyre asks his wife if she can keep a secret and she giggles and replies, "Of course not!"

Men are different. Decades ago, I was working as a security guard at an Acme/Click (kind of like a Walmart) and perusing the shoplifting reports as entertainment. Entertaining indeed! There was one for my wife's sister!

In twenty-seven years, I've never told anyone about her shoplifting.


Doh! That was stupid. Doesn't matter, she's an ex sister-in-law anyway.


That's okay. I've got a different secret I've kept almost as long about, uh, ... well, maybe another time.

 

[drankin]

i was about 8 years old when i learned not to trust women.

Better to learn early then after you get married! :)

Women are so tempting to confide in, it's a trait they perfect as soon as the master their native language. The better they are at it the more popular they are with the rest of the gossip spinners. If a women can't develop some good gossip, she just doesn't get the rank in the feminine circles.

 

[leroyjenkens]

I think men gossip a lot too. If they want to talk about another guy who isn't there, they'll say what they need to say and be done with it. Women will talk and talk about that person until they don't have anything left to say about them, then they'll start making stuff up.

 

[BobG]

Better to learn early then after you get married! :)

Women are so tempting to confide in, it's a trait they perfect as soon as the master their native language. The better they are at it the more popular they are with the rest of the gossip spinners. If a women can't develop some good gossip, she just doesn't get the rank in the feminine circles.

I think men gossip a lot too. If they want to talk about another guy who isn't there, they'll say what they need to say and be done with it. Women will talk and talk about that person until they don't have anything left to say about them, then they'll start making stuff up.

Men never gossip! They just happen to run into good gossip diggers at the worst times.

 

[Pengwuino]

I think men gossip a lot too. If they want to talk about another guy who isn't there, they'll say what they need to say and be done with it. Women will talk and talk about that person until they don't have anything left to say about them, then they'll start making stuff up.

I think one key differnce is that guys will say things about other guys in their presence! Plus I think as far as this article goes, guys don't need to divert to other "friendship groups" with secrets. This article is awesome though, although it makes me wonder why someone needed to be paid to tell us this :).

Hmm I just realized I probably shouldn't have my name attached to this post less Evo and Moonbear and the like find out

 

[drankin]

I think one key differnce is that guys will say things about other guys in their presence! Plus I think as far as this article goes, guys don't need to divert to other "friendship groups" with secrets. This article is awesome though, although it makes me wonder why someone needed to be paid to tell us this :).

Hmm I just realized I probably shouldn't have my name attached to this post less Evo and Moonbear and the like find out

Can you imagine the gossip they have on us??

 

[BobG]

If someone asks me not to tell, then I really will, never tell. If I give my promise, I am good for it.

"... but while nine in ten girls deem themselves trustworthy – they still have spilt the beans. "

Don't trust her!

 

[BobG]

Can you imagine the gossip they have on us??

On you and Pengwino?

You should tell hypatia.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I think I would like to hear the drankin and Pengwuino gossip.

 

[Pengwuino]

I think I would like to hear the drankin and Pengwuino gossip.

You'll never get any dirt on me!

 

[drizzle]

...If a women can't develop some good gossip, she just doesn't get the rank in the feminine circles.

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-forum/wtf.gif

 

[GeorginaS]

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-forum/wtf.gif

If a women can't develop some good gossip, she just doesn't get the rank in the feminine circles.

I'm with you, drizzle. Just what, precisely, is this "rank" thing you think you're expert in, drankin?

 

[drankin]

Me? Expert in feminine gossip psychology? I got nothing, this is my version of male gossip.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I posted this once before:

Me: Can you keep a secret?
My wife: Yes.
Me: So can I.
My wife: You're a dead man Snyder.

 

[GeorginaS]

Me? Expert in feminine gossip psychology? I got nothing, this is my version of male gossip.

So, then, it's actually men who gossip in order to gain rank and you were simply projecting?

 

[drankin]

So, then, it's actually men who gossip in order to gain rank and you were simply projecting?

Huh? Sure, I'm "projecting" I guess. Everyone gossips, but that's not the topic of the thread. Women are much better at gossip. Much. :)

 

[drankin]

Some supporting data: http://search.rja-ads.com/pdfs/demographics/natenq-demographics.pdf

 

[Char. Limit]

Thank you for reinforceing my distrust in humanity, especially women.

Seriously, I know better than to trust a woman with a secret! I told (who I thought was) a female friend of mine a secret in the morning, and it was all over school by lunch!

She's not my friend anymore for obvious reasons.

(Note: This is also when I became a cynic.)

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

In my experience women are much worse about gossiping than men. Every woman I have ever dated has told me almost every dirty little secret she knew about any person she happened to bring up in conversation. I have even gotten to listen to things I would much prefer to not have heard about friends of mine.

Men I think tend to relish the idea that they know something that no one else knows. In my experience a male is much more likely to hint or outright say that they know something about someone but withhold the information.

Personally I occasionally discuss what might be a secret about someone but usually only with friends I have who are not going to meet the other and only if I am concerned about the person or the secret concerns me as well. I also tell stories that others have told me in confidence if I think that they are interesting but without names and only to people who I doubt could ever figure out who the story is about.

So, then, it's actually men who gossip in order to gain rank and you were simply projecting?

I think that his idea was that if a person is part of a group of peers that tends to swap gossip they will stand to gain popularity and influence in that group by having more and juicier gossip. While I have no study to back me up I would not be surprised to find that there is a strong correlation between the tendency to gossip and the desire for social climbing.

 

[skeptic2]

I must disagree. Women are just as good at keeping a secret as men, it just takes more of them to do it.

 

[BobG]

I must disagree. Women are just as good at keeping a secret as men, it just takes more of them to do it.

You have an interesting definition of "just as good" then. Usually, if it takes 10 women to do the same job 1 man could do, then you'd hire 2 women (affirmative action, you know).

I notice men get unfairly insulted for being better at sex, too. They're almost always faster than women and get made fun of because of it.

It's part of today's culture where a person seems to get put down for excelling.

 

[waht]

I suppose women had a tough time during the caveman times and had to rely on quick exchange of information.

 

[BobG]

I suppose women had a tough time during the caveman times and had to rely on quick exchange of information.

How would their times be harder than that of the men? Weren't men allowed to hit other men? Weren't they allowed to team up and beat up one guy together if the guy they wanted to hit was scary?

Or because they got stuck watching the brats and were less mobile?

"Tough time" is kind of subjective.

Having to spend a lot of time stuck around each other improves communication. Having to spend a lot of time competing with someone, and not wanting them to know what your were going to do next, inhibits communication.

(And gossip is a quick exchange of information?)

 

[GeorginaS]

So, then, it's actually men who gossip in order to gain rank and you were simply projecting?

Huh? Sure, I'm "projecting" I guess. Everyone gossips, but that's not the topic of the thread. Women are much better at gossip. Much. :)

I was teasing. But I guess that doesn't translate well on a message board. You'd have to be able to see the playful smile on my lips when I wrote that.

 

[drizzle]

I was teasing. But I guess that doesn't translate well on a message board. You'd have to be able to see the playful smile on my lips when I wrote that.

It was obvious GeorginaS, it’s just men! Can’t read between the lines

 

[lisab]

I suppose women had a tough time during the caveman times and had to rely on quick exchange of information.

Caveman times, what...? Women http://www.theonion.com/content/news/woman_domesticated"

 

[rootX]

Caveman times, what...? Women http://www.theonion.com/content/news/woman_domesticated"

It does not explain how children were raised ...

 

[turbo]

Caveman times, what...? Women http://www.theonion.com/content/news/woman_domesticated"

You mean that they roamed the Earth wild for a thousand years after the Earth was created? Wow!

 

[theJorge551]

i was about 8 years old when i learned not to trust women.

Lucky...Learned hell of a lot faster than I did.

 

[theJorge551]

In my experience women are much worse about gossiping than men. Every woman I have ever dated has told me almost every dirty little secret she knew about any person she happened to bring up in conversation. I have even gotten to listen to things I would much prefer to not have heard about friends of mine.

Men I think tend to relish the idea that they know something that no one else knows. In my experience a male is much more likely to hint or outright say that they know something about someone but withhold the information.

I couldn't agree more.

 

[Quark_Chowder]

You realize, right, that not all women are gossip mongers? Perhaps the typical woman gossips, but I'm not a typical woman (as evidenced by me pursuing physics) and I don't gossip. I have better things to think about.

 

[Quark_Chowder]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/woman_domesticated"

I can't believe you guys are my colleagues! No wonder women have such a hard time getting academic positions. Before you've even carried on a conversation with us, you've already decided we're worthless, gossipy human beings. How the h3ll am I supposed to share the results of an experiment I've conducted or give a talk when so many of you have decided before-hand that I'm not worth listening to?

 

[Char. Limit]

You realize, right, that not all women are gossip mongers? Perhaps the typical woman gossips, but I'm not a typical woman (as evidenced by me pursuing physics) and I don't gossip. I have better things to think about.

Of course. For every stereotype there are numerous exceptions. I believe, however, based on personal experience, that the majority of women are gossip-mongers.

 

[Char. Limit]

I can't believe you guys are my colleagues! No wonder women have such a hard time getting academic positions. Before you've even carried on a conversation with us, you've already decided we're worthless, gossipy human beings. How the h3ll am I supposed to share the results of an experiment I've conducted or give a talk when so many of you have decided before-hand that I'm not worth listening to?

You realize LisaB is a girl... right?

 

[Hurkyl]

Of course. For every stereotype there are numerous exceptions. I believe, however, based on personal experience, that the majority of women are gossip-mongers.

Wow, you know the majority of women?

 

[Char. Limit]

Wow, you know the majority of women?

You're right. That statement needs to be revised.

The vast majority of women that I know are gossipmongers.

 

[lisab]

I can't believe you guys are my colleagues! No wonder women have such a hard time getting academic positions. Before you've even carried on a conversation with us, you've already decided we're worthless, gossipy human beings. How the h3ll am I supposed to share the results of an experiment I've conducted or give a talk when so many of you have decided before-hand that I'm not worth listening to?

I'm a woman, a working scientist, with a physics degree. That post was from The Onion, which is satire .

Welcome to PF!

 

[Galteeth]

I have been good friends with a certain girl for a long time, and she keeps absolutely all of my secrets, as I do hers.

It wouldn't apply in this case, but once you've gone past a certain level with some one, even if you are angry at them, breaking confidence is kind of an M.A.D. situation.

 

[Math Is Hard]

The best secret keeper I've ever met is my little sister. We call her "The Vault". You'll never get anything out of her.

 

[Gokul43201]

:/

Researchers found that women are overcome by a burning desire to share gossip as soon as they hear it.

They will typically spill the beans to at least one other person in 47 hours and 15 minutes.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6199822/Women-cannot-keep-a-secret-for-longer-than-47-hours.html"


That reminds me of a joke;

The three fastest ways of communication in the world; telephone, television and tell a women. Still need a faster way? ... Tell her not to tell anyone!


Seriously, what do you think?

Reminds me of a little story from Indian Mythology.

Queen Kunti has a son (Karna) when she is really young, and still unwed. She panics, and sends the baby Karna floating away in a basket, and never tells anyone about it. Karna grows up to fight in a great war, and ends up being killed by his own brothers (who are on the other side, and do not know that Karna is their brother). When the brothers finally find out Karna's identity (at his funeral), the oldest of them gets really mad that their mother kept this secret from them, and curses all women of the future to never be able to keep a secret.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karna#After_Karna.27s_death

 

[turbo]

The best secret keeper I've ever met is my little sister. We call her "The Vault". You'll never get anything out of her.

I want a sister like that. Instead I have 3 sieves. Actually, they are not passive like sieves - the information comes out fast, like out of a hydrant.

If you want everyone to believe something about a 3rd party, no matter how inconsequential or how damaging it could be, just tell one of my sisters and tell her that "it's a secret". It'll be all over in no time flat.

 

[CRGreathouse]

Wow, you know the majority of women?

That wouldn't be necessary -- with statistical sampling, as few as, say, 20 might suffice. (For a 95% confidence Agresti-Coull interval, you'd need 17+ out of the 20 to be gossip-mongers in that case.) Of course you'd need a sample with good statistical properties, which a natural group of friends would almost always lack.

 

[Char. Limit]

That wouldn't be necessary -- with statistical sampling, as few as, say, 20 might suffice. (For a 95% confidence Agresti-Coull interval, you'd need 17+ out of the 20 to be gossip-mongers in that case.) Of course you'd need a sample with good statistical properties, which a natural group of friends would almost always lack.

Well, my sample is about 93 women I know from high school, work, family friends, and friends of friends. Of those, about 58 (note: heavily approximate) have freely gossiped to me about others. What does that give?

 

[CRGreathouse]

Well, my sample is about 93 women I know from high school, work, family friends, and friends of friends. Of those, about 58 (note: heavily approximate) have freely gossiped to me about others. What does that give?

If they were randomly selected from some population (e.g., women in the United States), and at least 58 were gossip-mongers, then you could conclude with 95% confidence that the majority of that population are gossip-mongers. (Actually, if you use the Clopper-Pearson interval you could make that conclusion with only 57 gossip-mongers, but from what I've read the Agresti-Coull interval is better in general.)

Edit: Spooky, the way our numbers lined up! If it was exactly 58, the specific (AC; 95%) conclusion is that 51.7% to 72.3% of the population freely gossip in like fashion.

 

[Char. Limit]

If they were randomly selected from some population (e.g., women in the United States), and at least 58 were gossip-mongers, then you could conclude with 95% confidence that the majority of that population are gossip-mongers. (Actually, if you use the Clopper-Pearson interval you could make that conclusion with only 57 gossip-mongers, but from what I've read the Agresti-Coull interval is better in general.)

Edit: Spooky, the way our numbers lined up! If it was exactly 58, the specific (AC; 95%) conclusion is that 51.7% to 72.3% of the population freely gossip in like fashion.

Ok that is strange. At first I went with a sample of 90 and a positive size of 60, but it seemed a little high in relation to my experiences, so I nudged the sample size up and the other size down to fit my experience better. However, all of these women live within a 30-mile radius of me, so it might be biased.

 

[CRGreathouse]

However, all of these women live within a 30-mile radius of me, so it might be biased.

That would make it representative of women in your 30-mile-radius area, then.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I would have to try hard to think of women I have known that do not gossip. It may be that IRL I tend to be a quiet person and considered a "good listener" so people may simply feel more inclined to trust that they can tell me things that they would not normally tell others. Or perhaps my being quiet makes them feel that they need to speak more to fill the silence and they wind up plumbing the depths of their conversational information. Perhaps it may even be that my quietness attracts female friends who have a greater tendency to talk a lot.