RUTA said:
The way the momentum-energy content of the matter-occupied region of spacetime affects the geometry of the vacuum region surrounding it is via the coupling between regions as expressed in the extrinsic curvature K on the spatial hypersurface boundary.
This is one way of viewing the connection, but not the only one. A drawback of viewing it this way is that the extrinsic curvature you describe depends on how you slice up the spacetime into spacelike slices. In the simple examples you discuss, there is a "preferred" slicing given, roughly speaking, by the "rest frame" of the central body in the asymptotically flat vacuum region. But there won't always be any way to pick out a slicing from any symmetries in the problem.
Also, if we're talking about something like galaxy rotation curves, what we're really interested in is how the stress-energy in the interior region affects the geometry in the
interior region. The rotation curves we measure for galaxies are not measurements of objects outside the galaxy orbiting it; they are measurements of objects
inside the galaxy, responding to the local spacetime geometry in the galaxy's interior. The geometry in the exterior vacuum region only comes into play to the extent it affects the trajectories of the light rays we see coming from the galaxy, and that effect is going to be small, and is not the kind of effect you're looking for in any case.
RUTA said:
I don't have hydrodynamic support and I don't want radially expanding or collapsing shells.
Yes, that's indeed a problem, but it's a problem in the
interior region; you need a stationary blob of matter that is not supported by hydrostatic equilibrium. That doesn't necessarily require the
exterior region to be Kerr; in principle the total angular momentum of the whole blob could be zero, with various individual pieces of matter in the blob orbiting in different planes so their individual orbital angular momenta end up cancelling. (Or, more realistically, the total overall angular momentum could be very small compared to other parameters, so it could be ignored or approximated by small corrections to the zero total angular momentum case.) But in the interior, of course, each individual piece of matter
has to be in a geodesic orbit about the overall center of mass, since there's no other way for the system to be stationary.