Are Men on OKCupid Desperate for Attention?

[micromass]

Are men pathetic??

So, I signed up to OKCupid a few weeks ago. I've had some nice talks with some people (and I was able to rickroll somebody). But overall it's not really a succes. For example, I never received a spontaneous message.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I simply got curious if girls would get more attention than men (probably), and I wanted to see how much more attention. So I decided to make a fake profile of a girl on OKC to see how many people reacted. I put up a picture of a random cute girl and I filled in the profile as stupid as I could. Really, I would let her look like an idiot. I basically said that the Earth is bigger than the sun, and that intelligence turns me off and so. It was a profile to which, I thought, not much people would ever react.

But I was wrong. Already 5 minutes after I put up the account, men would start sending messages. They're still sending messages. For some reason I can't understand it. The profile picture is moderately cute, but her profile is awful. Are men that pathetic that they want a life partner that is cute, but has no decent personality?? Really?

And then the messages that those men send. Most of them only send stuff like "hi" or "you are cute". They really have nothing better to say?? And then I'm not even talking about the sexually obsessed people that send stuff.

OK, I'm sure that there are many men out there that are decent. But most of the men on OKCupid are idiots. Or am I just being weird??

Sorry for the rant

 

[lisab]

Lol, such a great post....

It's a numbers game. You have to kiss a *lot* of frogs, virtually, before you find a good one. That's as true in online dating as with real life dating. From what I've seen, the crowd is a little better at the pay sites than at the free sites. But only marginally.

My experience: you have to use the profile as a filter, not a net. If your real profile was getting a few hits but not a tsunami, it was probably just about right. Maybe if you add something like, "My favorite food is roast uniform cow of spherical density," you could be sure the next guy who writes is a keeper .

Re your "bimbo" girl - that's both funny and sad.

 

[micromass]

Lol, such a great post....

It's a numbers game. You have to kiss a *lot* of frogs, virtually, before you find a good one. That's as true in online dating as with real life dating. From what I've seen, the crowd is a little better at the pay sites than at the free sites. But only marginally.

My experience: you have to use the profile as a filter, not a net. If your real profile was getting a few hits but not a tsunami, it was probably just about right. Maybe if you add something like, "My favorite food is roast uniform cow of spherical density," you could be sure the next guy who writes is a keeper .

Re your "bimbo" girl - that's both funny and sad.

Thanks, lisab! I'm actually contemplating putting that on my profile. My profile isn't very good, but I don't think that matters. Peng has an hilarious profile, but he has even less succes than me. Which is verrrrry odd.

I'm not really bothered by the lack of reactions though, it's not like I expected anything good to happen. I'm just reeaally annoyed by some men out there. They don't even read the girls profile. They just think: "cute face" ---> "say hi". Are we that shallow?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Hi micromass.

 

[lisab]

Thanks, lisab! I'm actually contemplating putting that on my profile. My profile isn't very good, but I don't think that matters. Peng has an hilarious profile, but he has even less succes than me. Which is verrrrry odd.

I'm not really bothered by the lack of reactions though, it's not like I expected anything good to happen. I'm just reeaally annoyed by some men out there. They don't even read the girls profile. They just think: "cute face" ---> "say hi". Are we that shallow?

Well, here's example of a reply I've seen...

I WANNA TOUCH YOUR HAIR. I HOPE U R GONNA WRITE ME SOON.

So...in answer to your question, I'd say "yes". Also the number of replies you get when you post a photo >> number you get if you don't. Again, more evidence of shallowness (despite what everyone says !)

 

[micromass]

Well, here's example of a reply I've seen...

I WANNA TOUCH YOUR HAIR. I HOPE U R GONNA WRITE ME SOON.

 

[sourlemon]

Hi micromass.

you should post your profile here. I'll bet you'll get more hits :P

 

[micromass]

you should post your profile here. I'll bet you'll get more hits :P

Yeah, Greg should open a dating site...

 

[wisvuze]

At the moment, based on my personal experiences ( admittedly limited ), I have to sympathize with your "observations"...
What is even worse is the "bar scene" in my city, it makes you even more cynical aha.
Also, it doesn't help that there are girls that go for that kind of thing as well!

Before my 22nd birthday, I already am an old maid..

 

[HeLiXe]

(and I was able to rickroll somebody)

Well, here's example of a reply I've seen...

I WANNA TOUCH YOUR HAIR. I HOPE U R GONNA WRITE ME SOON.

I was once walking in downtown Atlanta and this man stopped me to tell me I have the most beautiful toes he has ever seen. I walk sort of fast so I kept wondering how he could really see them before I stopped LOL

freak

I don't think men are pathetic, but idiots are in abundance in general Maybe that is why the bimbo girl got such a good response LOL she probably seemed more normal

 

[Newai]

i want to touch your hair. I hope u r going to write me soon.

what so i gess you don't want to write me at all then okay! Wanna hang out? With me. Come see my cats and games!

 

[Newai]

This is gold. We should get a hook-up thread going.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Are men that pathetic that they want a life partner that is cute, but has no decent personality?? Really?

Nope, they just want to get in your pants, girlie. And since you're a stupid chick, it might be fairly easy.

Write them back and tell them you're drunk right now, too. heh heh

 

[Pengwuino]

WAIT A MINUTE.

I thought that picture was you wearing a wig?!

What the hell!

 

[Ivan92]

That is an interesting experiment that you have done micro. MIH brings up a good point. They just want sex. Maybe they just see the profile picture and just decide to message the dummy girl without bothering to read the profile. I am sure that there are men who do take the time to read through the profile and are truly interested, but the girl gets a lot of messages from many guys so it is hard to find the one from the ton of messages.

 

[Pengwuino]

It seems the important is not "how many relationships start online?", it's "how many single mother children are started online?" :P. No wonder there's so many single mothers on OKC...

 

[turbo]

Nope, they just want to get in your pants, girlie. And since you're a stupid chick, it might be fairly easy.

Write them back and tell them you're drunk right now, too. heh heh

And get over here right now!

 

[turbo]

Yeah, Greg should open a dating site...

It could be a pretty successful site. If you are a member in good standing of PF, then it's a safe bet that you are not a knuckle-dragging mouth-breather. He could call it "Date a Geek".

 

[Ivan92]

He could call it "Date a Geek".

I don't think we are a bunch of geeks, we are more nerdy than anything. "Date a Nerd" :)

Actually, I think it can be Geek too. We need to vote Geek or Nerd :D

 

[Andy]

lol. Yes 99% of men are pathetic.

 

[Newai]

Sigh. Yes, the less disciplined men only want sex. And the less disciplined women only want money. But this shouldn't be much of a surprise where the dating pool is scouting from a computer.

 

[qspeechc]

Sigh. Yes, the less disciplined men only want sex. And the less disciplined women only want money. But this shouldn't be much of a surprise where the dating pool is scouting from a computer.

You forgot: all politicians are evil.

 

[skeptic2]

Why don't you post the profile of a smart woman and see what kind and how many hits you get?

 

[daveb]

As an experiment (since my own profile never got a hit) I did sort of the reverse when I was on OKC (as well as match, etc.) by posting a profile of a "hunky" looking guy, with a pretty crappy profile talking about sports, beer, getting drunk, etc. I got several dozen hits (along the same lines of "Hi" or"Wanna Hang out"). so it isn't just men who are pathetic. It's most of the people on those sites.

 

[Evo]

As an experiment (since my own profile never got a hit) I did sort of the reverse when I was on OKC (as well as match, etc.) by posting a profile of a "hunky" looking guy, with a pretty crappy profile talking about sports, beer, getting drunk, etc. I got several dozen hits (along the same lines of "Hi" or"Wanna Hang out"). so it isn't just men who are pathetic. It's most of the people on those sites.

Not really any different from going to a bar. The thin, pretty girls get hit on, the plump, and unattractive women don't.

 

[Astronuc]

I think a bar would be a terrible place to start a relationship. Usually it's very noisy.

I'd rather go to a quiet restaurant where one can hear the other talk, and one can use a relatively low voice.

 

[Vanadium 50]

Write them back and tell them you're drunk right now, too. heh heh

And blonde!

 

[Evo]

I think a bar would be a terrible place to start a relationship. Usually it's very noisy.

I'd rather go to a quiet restaurant where one can hear the other talk, and one can use a relatively low voice.

You pick women up in restaurants? How does that work?

 

[wisvuze]

I think he means a restaurant as a first date ( or something ) ? haha

 

[BobG]

You pick women up in restaurants? How does that work?

Easy.

When the guy goes to use the restroom, you handcuff him to the toilet and depants him. He'll spend at least 60 minutes or so trying McGyver-like solutions before he admits he's going to have to ask for help, no matter how embarrassing his situation is.

That gives you 60 minutes to console the poor woman who's date decided to play dine and dash, leaving her stuck with the check. You simply have the waitress combine his meal and her and her date's meal on one check and then strike up a conversation. Given that one man has just left her stuck with a check, she'll at least carry the possibility of getting stuck for an even more expensive check in the back of her mind and will be a little more receptive and friendly to your advances, at least until the check is paid.

So you've got about 60 minutes to sell yourself before deciding whether to take her home or not (and before deciding whether to pay the check or not).

 

[lisab]

You pick women up in restaurants? How does that work?

Pick up line: "Hi...you going to eat that?"

 

[Astronuc]

You pick women up in restaurants? How does that work?

I don't think I ever 'picked up' a woman. I usually met them in class or on campus, and invited them out.

When I went to a bar, I went to drink with mates. And on campus, I usually wore shorts, T-shirt and went barefoot. Not exactly designed to attract women, although I did meet some nice women.

What I meant was that I would go to a bar to meet women.

One of my memories from university was meeting a group of women I knew from class or around campus. All three were sitting on the steps outside the bar when I was leaving. All three were quite attractive and quite popular. They were sitting there complaining about the poor quality of mean who approached, and they were wondering where to go for the evening.

Or a first date could be a park, museum (which is interesting and quiet), a zoo (if it's not too crowded), botanical garden, beach, or some other place of interest.

 

[rhody]

Hi micromass.

Very good Jimmy. Can we start calling you Shallow Jimmy now ?

Rhody...

 

[Astronuc]

Easy.

When the guy goes to use the restroom, you handcuff him to the toilet and depants him. He'll spend at least 60 minutes or so trying McGyver-like solutions before he admits he's going to have to ask for help, no matter how embarrassing his situation is.

That gives you 60 minutes to console the poor woman who's date decided to play dine and dash, leaving her stuck with the check. You simply have the waitress combine his meal and her and her date's meal on one check and then strike up a conversation. Given that one man has just left her stuck with a check, she'll at least carry the possibility of getting stuck for an even more expensive check in the back of her mind and will be a little more receptive and friendly to your advances, at least until the check is paid.

So you've got about 60 minutes to sell yourself before deciding whether to take her home or not (and before deciding whether to pay the check or not).

That's an interesting approach.

Or wait until the couple is leaving, and then pick her up.

I wouldn't do that.

 

[jtbell]

"My favorite food is roast uniform cow of spherical density,"

Spherical density? If I saw that, I'd probably think, "probably a sloshed physics major."

 

[Galteeth]

Try the experiment again, but clarify that you're a fundamentalist christian who doesn't believe in sex before marriage, or for any other purpose then reproduction.

 

[HeLiXe]

Easy.

When the guy goes to use the restroom, you handcuff him to the toilet and depants him. He'll spend at least 60 minutes or so trying McGyver-like solutions before he admits he's going to have to ask for help, no matter how embarrassing his situation is.

That gives you 60 minutes to console the poor woman who's date decided to play dine and dash, leaving her stuck with the check. You simply have the waitress combine his meal and her and her date's meal on one check and then strike up a conversation. Given that one man has just left her stuck with a check, she'll at least carry the possibility of getting stuck for an even more expensive check in the back of her mind and will be a little more receptive and friendly to your advances, at least until the check is paid.

So you've got about 60 minutes to sell yourself before deciding whether to take her home or not (and before deciding whether to pay the check or not).

OMG
You scare me sometimes BobG

 

[micromass]

What about this message

People call me Dave, but you can call me tonight!​

Seriously? Does such a line ever work?? I'm losing my faith in humanity here

 

[lisab]

What about this message

People call me Dave, but you can call me tonight!​

Seriously? Does such a line ever work?? I'm losing my faith in humanity here

Good lord, what a horrible pick up line!

 

[Astronuc]

What about this message

People call me Dave, but you can call me tonight!​

Seriously? Does such a line ever work?? I'm losing my faith in humanity here

Or slightly less than one-half of it.

 

[Drakkith]

What about this message

People call me Dave, but you can call me tonight!​

Seriously? Does such a line ever work?? I'm losing my faith in humanity here

It can. Many women like that the man is approaching them even it is a terrible pickup line. It isn't about WHAT you say, but how you say it and your attitude that matters.

The issue here is that any time you approach a total stranger you are going to judge them based on criteria that is known at the time. Looks and perceived status. It is normal and natural for that to happen.

Also, have you considered that some men may be giving women the benefit of the doubt if you will? It's possible the girl has a great personality in real life, and her profile could be joking, you could be misunderstanding it, and etc. Some people don't really care as long as the other person makes them happy. I know that I really don't care if the girl thinks the Galaxy is on Orions Belt if I like her and she makes good decisions in life in general. As long as we get along and all that you know.

 

[daveb]

You also have to remember it's a numbers game. All a man needs is one female to positively respond to his inane pick-up line, and it is therefore successful (in his eyes). I know someone that would go up to random women in bars and directly ask them if they wanted to have sex - by asking literally dozens of women, every now and then one wouild say yes.

 

[qspeechc]

Or a first date could be a [..] museum [...] botanical garden

Not if you want to see her again.

 

[Topher925]

What about this message

People call me Dave, but you can call me tonight!​

Seriously? Does such a line ever work?? I'm losing my faith in humanity here

HA! I'm adding that one to my book. The whole sub-par human being thing goes both ways though. I'd say 98% of the girls on OKC are dumb bimbos and are also teenage mothers with multiple children or are morbidly obese.

 

[khemist]

Are you guys actually surprised?

It is the internet...

 

[HeLiXe]

Are you guys actually surprised?

It is the internet...

It is the same off the internets unfortunately -_-

 

[Pengwuino]

The whole sub-par human being thing goes both ways though. I'd say 98% of the girls on OKC are dumb bimbos and are also teenage mothers with multiple children or are morbidly obese.

Actually, I live near san francisco, and it seems like there are a TON of eligible females over there (mainly at Berkeley). I hate living 150 miles away :(. The crazy thing is that I'm seeing tons of people who aren't... you know, "berkeley people". They're normal! Then again, OKC probably filters the weirdos.

I need to move.

Where I live, yah, it's girls who are clearly dumb, single mothers, or morbidly obese.

Honestly, it's almost a turn off in my eyes if a girl can STAND okcupid. Clearly their instincts to run away from horrible people and horrible situations is malfunctioning.

 

[Astronuc]

Not if you want to see her again.

Actually, I encountered a very attractive woman at a museum, and I probably could have gotten a date.

I first met my wife at a park with an outdoor theatre, and I was wearing shorts, t-shirt and was barefoot. A close friend and I played frisbee, then joined a group of women for grapes, wine and cheese, and crackers. I was pretty hot and sweaty from running around. We then went back to my friend's place for dinner (my wife (then a stranger) was best friends with his girlfriend). I probably took a shower and changed into clean clothes before dinner.

My wife and I encountered each other at my friend's place on several occasions periodically for about 6 months (weekends or holidays), since I lived 90 miles away. We started dating 6 months after we met, then got engaged 3 months later, and we've been together for 30+ years.

When I first met her, my wife told me she'd given up on men, was never getting married, and definitely not having children. I kind of changed her perspective.

 

[Evo]

Actually, I live near san francisco, and it seems like there are a TON of eligible females over there (mainly at Berkeley). I hate living 150 miles away :(. The crazy thing is that I'm seeing tons of people who aren't... you know, "berkeley people". They're normal! Then again, OKC probably filters the weirdos.

I need to move.

Where I live, yah, it's girls who are clearly dumb, single mothers, or morbidly obese.

Honestly, it's almost a turn off in my eyes if a girl can STAND okcupid. Clearly their instincts to run away from horrible people and horrible situations is malfunctioning.

Ooh, pengwuino, change your OKC location to a zip code in the Atlanta area where you plan to live and see what comes up.

 

[Pengwuino]

Ooh, pengwuino, change your OKC location to a zip code in the Atlanta area where you plan to live and see what comes up.

Oh I've already looked around ;)

Let's just say maybe I should try to not have a roommate ;)