Bad Math Jokes

[jack action]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Lie algebras? Now I've heard everything. We only studied truth algebras.

 

[fresh_42]

Lie algebras? Now I've heard everything. We only studied truth algebras.

That's a real bad one, especially as Lie is pronounced Lee.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

That's a real bad one, especially as Lie is pronounced Lee.

Lie! Lie! Lie! And the thread didn't ask for good math jokes.

 

[fresh_42]

Lie! Lie! Lie! And the thread didn't ask for good math jokes.

Yes, but it took me quite a while to understand it at all. I read Lee algebras and didn't get the pun.

 

[fresh_42]

I probably told it before, but it is a really bad one:

A professor held his lectures and there were only three students in the auditorium. To make it even worse, after fifteen minutes five of them stood up and left the room. "D...", thought the professor, "I hope there will be coming another two so I can leave as well."

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Yes, but it took me quite a while to understand it at all. I read Lee algebras and didn't get the pun.

Yes, and it works both ways. A few of my best puns don't work in text.

 

[DrGreg]

I probably told it before, but it is a really bad one:

A professor held his lectures and there were only three students in the auditorium. To make it even worse, after fifteen minutes five of them stood up and left the room. "D...", thought the professor, "I hope there will be coming another two so I can leave as well."

There's a similar joke (don't try to analyse this too much, it's full of logical holes):

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are in a coffee shop watching another shop across the street. For a long time nothing happens, then two people enter the other shop and shortly after three people leave. They ask each other, how is it possible for two to enter and three to leave?

The biologist says it's an example of reproduction.

The physicist says it's experimental error.

The mathematician says, if another person enters the shop there'll be nobody in there.

 

[fresh_42]

My favorite of all times remains:
Let $\varepsilon <0.$

 

[Ivan Seeking]

My favorite of all times remains:
Let $\varepsilon <0.$

So is that from a Deceptive Calculus based on one of those Lying Algebras?

 

[fresh_42]

So is that from a Deceptive Calculus based on one of those Lying Algebras?

Maybe a leftover from a poolean algebra.

 

[DrGreg]

Imagine a joke involving a distance $t$ and a time $r$ !

Spoiler: Oh, hang on, I can think of a real (non-joke) example of this.

Schwartzschild coordinates inside the event horizon.

 

[BWV]

Guy is flying over the Grand Canyon sitting next to an accountant. Looks over to the accountant and says ‘that sure is impressive’.
Accountant says ‘yes, it’s one hundred million and three years old’
Guy says ‘hundred million and three? How do you know that?’
Accountant says ‘three years ago I was on this same flight sitting next to a geologist and he told me’

 

[DrGreg]

Guy is flying over the Grand Canyon sitting next to an accountant. Looks over to the accountant and says ‘that sure is impressive’.
Accountant says ‘yes, it’s one hundred and three million years old’
Guy says ‘hundred and three million? How do you know that’
Accountant says ‘three years ago I was on this same flight sitting next to a geologist and he told me’

Nice joke, but you really meant to say "one hundred million and three", not "one hundred and three million".

 

[jack action]

 

[mfb]

flnow, order the factors by alphabet.

 

[jack action]

log() =log()

 

[Keith_McClary]

https://xkcd.com/2509/

The Horrors of log(log(log(t)))​

Math with Bad Drawings

 

[mfb]

The Horrors of log(log(log(t)))​

It's fitting how all the logs make a campfire.

 

[jedishrfu]

versus row(row(row(the_boat))) =gently(down(the_stream))

In APL the had a $\rho$ operator for array shape:

$\rho\rho\rho$BOAT

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/APL_syntax_and_symbols

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I was a pretty good student, But I never understood why some of my math grades had both a real and an imaginary part.

 

[jedishrfu]

It may be because you imagined yourself to be the one negative square rooting for more complexity in your grades.

 

[mfb]

I was trying to make a joke about commuting math grades, but I was not Abel.

 

[BWV]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Turns out the average student in the US has very advanced math skills. They learn Stochastic Math.

 

[jedishrfu]

View attachment 288598

This reminds me of the time in a Physics Lab when calculators were first being used mid-70s. We saw a student measuring some circuit and using the calculator to compute the voltage. We knew it to be 1.5V but the student got 1,500V so much for calculator math and user error. When asked how he got the answer, he said that what the calculator said.

 

[Ibix]

I was trying to make a joke about commuting math grades, but I was not Abel.

What's purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.
What lives at the bottom of the sea and commutes? An Abelian grouper.
What makes up a circus and commutes? An Abelian troupe.
What's in the army and commutes? An Abelian troop.
What looks like a tree and commutes? An Abelian Groot.

Any more for any more?

 

[Eclair_de_XII]

View attachment 284338

That's got to be one of the more depressing aspects of my life.

 

[benorin]

This one’s about sorting algorithms of course lol

 

[Hornbein]

The elementary school I went to had like 20 ft high ceilings, they planned ahead.

People have been getting taller over the decades.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

People have been getting taller over the decades.

Not really. Rulers just keep getting shorter. It's a mystery.

 

[Hornbein]

Not really. Rulers just keep getting shorter. It's a mystery.

Relativistic contraction can explain everything.

 

[mfb]

Rulers moving fast is a rare occurrence.
Wait, that's not a math joke anymore.

 

[Eclair_de_XII]

Rulers moving fast is a rare occurrence.

Can you not simply place it in a car or inside an airplane? Could you not do this for virtually any inanimate object whose mass will not slow down either of these modes of transportation?

 

[thegoldbering]

So many people here will recognize themselves:

View attachment 270522​

Lmao this is so true!