Collection of Lame Jokes

[nsaspook]

Works for me! The fire is a metaphor.

Yes, fire as a metaphor.

Give a man a match, and it'll keep him warm for a minute.
Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 356103

How about adding Vaidman's Bomb?

(Sorry Elitzur, we only use one name, preferably with two syllables)

 

[nuuskur]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[dwarde]

 

[DrGreg]

The Dangers of Cliff-Walking by Eileen Dover.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Many years ago I worked with a guy (now long gone) whose parents came from China during the Truman administration. They named him in honor of the President - Harry.

His last name was Dong. No joke.

 

[Swamp Thing]

No joke.

Then why post it here?

 

[berkeman]

Then why post it here?

Spoiler

Made you look!

 

[fresh_42]

Many years ago I worked with a guy (now long gone) whose parents came from China during the Truman administration. They named him in honor of the President - Harry.

His last name was Dong. No joke.

I think my favorite Asian takeaway is run by Mhai Ding A-Ling.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Then why post it here?

It is the truth masquerading as a joke. So I guess it's a fake joke.

 

[berkeman]

It is the truth masquerading as a joke. So I guess it's a fake joke.

I see what you did there. Mind the prohibition on politics here my good man.

 

[fresh_42]

I see what you did there. Mind the prohibition on politics here my good man.

Honi soit qui mal y pense!

 

[berkeman]

Honi soit qui mal y pense!

Gentle reminder that Klingon is not allowed at PF.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I see what you did there. Mind the prohibition on politics here my good man.

LOL! That has nothing to do with politics.

 

[berkeman]

LOL! That has nothing to do with politics.

I'm not saying nothin' because I'll have to ban myself.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I'm not saying nothin' because I'll have to ban myself.

Seriously. See you next year!

 

[fresh_42]

Gentle reminder that Klingon is not allowed at PF.

Honi soit qui mal y pense ... spoken by the medieval ruling class in England.

Ergo: educational mission.

 

[gmax137]

Eileen Dover

50 Yard Dash to the Outhouse, By Willy Makit, Illustrated by Betty Dont.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[jtbell]

Then there's "Get Smart"'s Harry Hoo.

Maxwell Smart: Who's that?
Policeman]: That's Hoo.
Maxwell Smart: Who's who?
Policeman: He's Hoo.
Maxwell Smart: Oh, he's who. What are you talking about?

 

[jtbell]

Many years ago, early in my teaching career, my department had to hire a new faculty member. We had applications from guys named Ding and Dong. Our chairman said he wished we could hire both of them, because then we would have Ding, Dong and Bell.

 

[DaveC426913]

Back in my cubicle days, I noticed that two of my colleagues, Ron and Jeremy, were cubicle neighbours. I stole their name plates and replaced them with a single large sign high up on the wall that said "Ron Jeremy" in giant bold letters.

 

[phinds]

Back in my cubicle days, I noticed that two of my colleagues, Ron and Jeremy, were cubicle neighbours. I stole their name plates and replaced them with a single large sign high up on the wall that said "Ron Jeremy" in giant bold letters.

Reminds me of my first quarter at Ga Tech, where we were assigned arbitrary roommates in the dorms and my assigned roommate was Nick Farmer. They put last name signs on the door and as we were settling in, a guy knocked on our door and when I opened it he said "I just had to meet this guy Farmer Hinds".

 

[DaveC426913]

Farmer Hinds

I had to look that up.

 

[fresh_42]

I tried to find new friends outside of Facebook. So I went into the street and shouted what I was eating and how I felt. I already have three followers: two police officers and a psychiatrist.

 

[dwarde]