Collection of Science Jokes P2

[jack action]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

A binary star system is when it has either 0 or 1 stars.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[DrGreg]

A binary star system is when it has either 0 or 1 stars.

No, it has 10.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

Why it's called science *fiction*:

 

[BillTre]

 

[gmax137]

Why it's called science *fiction*:

View attachment 365578

Actually we can't say anything about how warp drive works. Maybe letting up on the throttle really does slow you down.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 365581

I liked this version:

 

[DaveC426913]

Actually we can't say anything about how warp drive works. Maybe letting up on the throttle really does slow you down.

(True. The warp drive requires power to maintain.)

The real egregious one is:
"We've lost power! Our orbit is starting to decay!"

"(Oh woe! Why do we have to comply with Starfleet Orbital Regs that set standard orbit at, like, 50 miles altitude!)"

 

[Jonathan Scott]

The real egregious one is:
"We've lost power! Our orbit is starting to decay!"

I always wondered how they managed "synchronous orbit above the south pole of the planet".

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

I put my to-do list in a Schrödinger’s box. If I never open it, it’s both done and not done.

 

[Baluncore]

If I never open it, it’s both done and not done.

I purchased two tickets with different unknown numbers in the lottery. I placed them in a Schrödinger’s box, then walked away, ignoring the draw. According to Bayes' analysis, I am probably a winner, and will never need to buy another ticket in a lottery. Others make the mistake of checking the result, collapsing the wave function, and then must buy more tickets to reestablish the dream.

Meanwhile, for my worst enemy's birthday each year, I buy and gift him one ticket in his favourite pools numbers each week. He does not know that, each week, I buy two tickets in the identical numbers for myself. It is worth it, because I know he can never win more than one third of the pool, and I will always win twice what he does. Tell me, what are your favourite numbers?

 

[gmax137]

I heard this story on the radio years ago, under the "best practical jokes" heading

Two friends (let's say Alice and Bob) bought 20 lottery tickets every week. Twenty individual quick-picks. One week it was Alice's turn to do the buying. That night she checked the tickets after the drawing -- no luck. Early the next morning, Alice went to the convenience store and bought a ticket with the previous night's numbers. She tucked that ticket into the pile, and went to Bob's place. "You check them," she said...

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]