Meeting the parents - that's a good item for discussion.
You should not have to be reminded that when you meet someone and go out dating, you are dating that person and NOT the parents. If you begin to date the parents, there is a good chance your beau or beauess may become jealous which just leads to them becoming pouty which is not a good thing.
Parents are a slight inconvenience that you will have to put up with when dating someone. If your meeting the parents is over at their place for a meal expect some silly things to happen. "You look so skinny, you must not be eating, here is another helping of x... It's Ed's favourite. That'l put meat on your bones" as you look down on a heaping portion of another 2000 calories. Or, the pop, "You know, I am going fishing this weekend and you will have to come along. Come over at 5 o'clock tomorrow morning," when Saturday's mornings is the best time for you to get caught up on sleep.
Just be sure, though, during the meal, you refrain some doing anything yourself silly, such as trying to hide the peas, of which you do not have a preference, under the plate. At cleanup, when the peas are found lying in their innocent bare glory in a neatly arranged semicircle, the parents will gasp, winkle their forehead, and become confused wondering how those peas ever got there like that and the worry will keep them up all night. Unless of coarse, their own offspring did that when he/she was a kid and and they finally caught on in their early parenthood to these playfull tactits and are now so much more wiser. In which case this might be much better and to your advantage as they will then have no choice but to think of you both as being "two peas in a pod" and just adore you so much more.
The downside is that they will then attempt to try to get both of you hitched up as soon as possible. And you know what that can lead to. Yes, you are then taking the first steps on the road to becoming a full fledged parent yourself with all the benefits that entails. Did you know that parents can stay up late at night as long as they want?? Believe it, or not, It's true. But i digress.
Getting back to the "Meeting the Parents at Thier Home for a Meal", when it is all said and done and time to leave after the eventful evening, thank the parents for the wonderful meal (don't mention the peas ) and just tell your date, "Your are so lucky, your parents are really neat and great," and watch the eyes roll of your possible significant other and the big grins and misty eyes from the mom and pop, as they remenicse on fond memories.
Actually though, what is really going on in the deep dark recesses of their mind, even though unaware of it themselves since it is just a small sparkle right then and there, but it goes back to the the reptilian part of the brain, the size of -there's those peas again - is the soon to be empty room to be used as a den ( poppa ) and sewing room ( momma ). Of coarse these mutually exclusive ideas will lead to some arguments between them for years to come. You can take some. No. You can take extreme satisfaction in being fully responsible for enhancing the parental normal mode of communication. If parents do not have anything to argue about, it is the same thing as kids without Christmas. Or is it Christmas without kids? Well, either way, you know the ramifications.
Be prepared though for some inquisition about sensitive issues that you may not be willing to discuss, but since it is THE PARENTS, you really have no choice but to divulge. Study hard on how to respond to extreme and embarassing questions. Practise in front of a mirror to get the body language and lip movement correct. Become a professional at public speaking. Become a politician and face the press for practice. Boost you confidence level to a point where you are prepared for anything. Then and only then will nothing they throw faze you. You will now have no difficulty answering "So, Julie, what do your mom and father do for a living?" "The Avengers ( subsitute the sports team in you area ) should never have made that trade. Bob, are you an Avengers fan?" Or the real kicker to feel you out as they lead you into it with niceness and then pounce for the kill with a double whammy "Oh, it's so nice to meet you. We have been told so much about you. So, how was the ride over? Is the weather good outside?" Look them straight in the eye to show you will not be intimidated as you answer in distinct full one word responses "Great" and "Warm" flinching not a muscle. Extreme training will pay off. Don't stare though. That is a sign of aggresiveness and source of possible pending conflict in the animal world. At least with dogs I have heard. With parents, the pop might contest you with an arm wrestle after the meal, and the mom might ask you to help bring out the roast from the kitchen, just to show who really is in charge here.
When it is all said and done, which already has been said and done, what more can be said. The sigh of relief is upon you as the evening is over and you still have 10 fingers and 10 toes and didn't mutate from all the stress and you reflect upon how you could have been so worried to put yourself in such a tizzy and everyone is waving goodbye and smiling and you feel so relaxed.
Beware. The horror of horrors is about to come upon you and your soul. You have not yet escaped. They tell you to never go down in the basement. To never open the door with the scratching noise. To lock all the windows and doors. To never take the shortcut across the cemetary at night. To stay away from the shadows. No. Hollywood horror movies never prepare you for this. Not Dracula. Not Aliens. Not The Walking Dead. Nor The Mist. Because, as you are slowly turning and walking away, your inner self will scream in terror, your life, your very essence of life will feel the attack of demons, your aspirations will dwindle, you will be frozen in time and thrown into the dark pits of hell. Because, as you slowly turn and walk away, THE PARENTS will reveal the evil torturous creatures they really are.
As you slowly turn and walk away, you will hear "We will have to do this again sometime soon!" and they will shut the door.
Just have fun.
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