PeroK said:
You are still fundamentally confused by the relationship between a geometry, which is the same geometry in all coordinate systems; and coordinates.
What I am definitely confused by, is the habit of changing coordinate system if they don't suit your needs. In my mind, coordinates are related to measurements, and you can only (and must) change a coordinate system, if it does not correspond to the measurements you are making.
I can fully understand that different coordinate systems can describe the same reality in different ways, like cartesian and polar coordinates. But the measurements (distances, proper time, etc) that you calculate with those coordinates should be the same. The should reflect reality.
Like in this discussion, when one says: "there is no event on the event horizon that corresponds with 'now' for the remote observer". And then somebody else says: "But we can just choose another coordinate system, and then there will be a 'now' on the event horizon". That is something I don't yet grasp. The event horizon is either part of reality or it isn't. If it is part of reality, there should be events that happen at the same time as events on Earth. I cannot understand that you can simply whip that into or out of existence by changing coordinate systems.
And yes, I understand that simultaneity is a much more fluid concept in GR than it is in Newtonian physics and Special Relativity. But my mind cannot follow why you can just change that by choosing another coordinate system, without making any physical changes in reality, or taking another observer's viewpoint.
But those are just my personal struggles with the theory, and I love to learn more about it. It was a great discussion, and I learned a lot. I thank everybody for the insightful comments.