Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Greg Bernhardt]

Commencement Speeches for Mathematicians
https://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2017/06/07/commencement-speeches-for-mathematicians/

 

[davenn]

 

[jambaugh]

What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?

 

[mfb]

Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.

 

[rootone]

Two scientists go into a bar.
One asks for a pint of beer and the other asks for a measure of vodka.
I forget the rest.

 

[fresh_42]

Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.

Gives me an idea: Next time someone asks how tall I am, I'll answer 6ns.

 

[DrGreg]

What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?

A buzz-year?

 

[jambaugh]

A buzz-year?

No, a Gordon Lightfoot

(I know it's not the best joke, and probably the younger crowd won't catch the references at all.)

 

[mfb]

That is a unit of length :(.

 

[jambaugh]

A light-second (,-minute, -year) is a unit of length. A light-kilometer(,-meter, -foot) is a unit of time. The "light" is the respective multiplication or division by c to transpose the unit type.

Assuming Flash Gordon has a foot of length 0.98357105643045 US ft long then this time unit will be 1 nanosecond. And of course the speed of light is 1x10^9 Gordon Feet per second.

And I so declare ... <with the tune of "The wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald" playing in the background> ... that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Feet and thus we should adopt a new standard for US measure, The Gordon Foot and the Gordon Lightfoot!
(3 Gordon Lightfeet to a Gordon Lightyard, 1/12 a Gordon lightfoot to the Gordon light inch... but we can just call it 1/12 nanoseconds. :)And since "Gordon Lightfoot" is a bit unwieldy we can just call that 1 nanosecond unit a "Flash".
"Honey, just going for cigarettes, be back in a Giga-Flash!"

 

[fresh_42]

I only know that if you break the toe of the foot in question, you'll get a Green Lantern.

 

[OCR]

Wait ! ... for just a Giga-Flash could you ?

I only know that if you break the toe of the foot in question, you'll get a Green Lantern.

And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Feet...

Did you mean: And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Foot... ?... carry on. .

 

[jambaugh]

Wait ! ... for just a Giga-Flash could you ?Did you mean: And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Foot... ?... carry on. .

Flash Gordon, we may presume, has both feet of equal length... 1 light-Flash long each. So it is not just the length of his left foot, nor just the length of his right foot, but the lengths of both feet. (So I guess I should have said "lengths".)

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 208019

hahaha love it :)

 

[DennisN]

For the kitten thread or the science jokes thread? Hard choice... let's post in this thread...
I did not know that a cat had published in Physical Review Letters:

F.D.C. Willard (1975–1980) was the pen name of a Siamese cat named Chester, who internationally published under this name on low temperature physics in scientific journals, once as a co-author and another time as the sole author.
[...]
...the journal would reject this form on submissions with a sole author. Rather than take the time to retype the article to use the singular form, or to bring in a co-author, Hetherington decided to invent one.

Source: F.D.C. Willard
Paper: http://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.35.1442

 

[Bandersnatch]

Not sure whether it fits better here or in the lame jokes thread.
Anyway, I've just learned what acronym the 'H₀ Lenses in COSMOGRAIL's Wellspring' team has come up with.
I'll let you take a guess (no cheating with google!).

 

[mfb]

There is also the Cosmic Ray Energetics and Mass Experiment - flying to the ISS. Guess what the combined acronym is.

Yes it is.

 

[fresh_42]

Not sure whether it fits better here or in the lame jokes thread.
Anyway, I've just learned what acronym the 'H₀ Lenses in COSMOGRAIL's Wellspring' team has come up with.
I'll let you take a guess (no cheating with google!).

It could have been worse! Hint: use the "p" in Wellspring.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

https://xkcd.com/1874/

I have an example of case #8 at home.

 

[fresh_42]

https://xkcd.com/1874/
View attachment 208663

I have an example of case #8 at home.

Me, too. I assume the place was not large enough to add all my faults?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

As an aside

When I was doing geology at uni, we were taught about the method of using lichen growth rates
to determine times of last movements on faultlines

 

[Borg]

You know that saying about having rocks in your head?

 

[Hawksteinman]

I'd tell you a joke about chemistry, but all the good ones Argon, and you'd think them Boron

 

[PhotonSSBM]

Ah yeah mathematics girl. I'm like $e^{2x}$; you can differentiate me all night long, and I only get bigger.

 

[mfb]

Integration makes you smaller?

Spoiler: Alternatively

d/dy

 

[PhotonSSBM]

Integration makes you smaller?

Spoiler

Alternatively: d/dy

Integration is the pillow talk of mathematics :)

 

[Hawksteinman]

a little astronomy comedy from days gone by ... used to enjoy Pink panther cartoons when I was a kid


there is, in this cartoon, ( as in all cartoons) a number of serious breaking of physics laws

Oh the scientific inaccuracy!

 

[kuruman]

How come $< \psi |H|\psi>$ and $< \varphi |H|\varphi>$ got to be $H|\psi>$ and $H|\varphi>$?

Spoiler

They took off their bras to prove that they are real.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Today is the day!

 

[jack action]

Knowing that $\frac{1}{\infty} = 0$, prove that $\frac{1}{0} = \infty$.

Solution:

1. Rotate both sides 90° counterclockwise: $-18 = 0$
2. Add $8$ to both sides: $-18 + 8 = 0 + 8$ or $-10 = 8$
3. Rotate both sides 90° clockwise: $\frac{1}{0} = \infty$

 

[jack action]

Show that $x = 1$ for $2x + x^2 = 3$.

Solution:
$$2x + x^2 = 3$$
$$2x^{\rlap{/}3} = \rlap{/}3$$
$$2x = 1$$
$$x = 2-1$$
$$x =1$$

 

[mfb]

Related:$$\frac{1\rlap{/}6}{\rlap{/}64} = \frac 1 4$$
$$\frac{1\rlap{/}9}{\rlap{/}95} = \frac 1 5$$

 

[DrGreg]

In fact, all numbers are equal to each other.

Let $a$ and $b$ be any two numbers. Define$$
c = a + b.
$$Multiply both sides by $a - b$:$$
ac - bc = a^2 - b^2.
$$Reaarrange:$$
ac - a^2 = bc - b^2
$$Subtract $ab$:$$
ac - a^2 - ab = bc - ab - b^2
$$Factorise:$$
a(c-a-b) = b(c-a-b).
$$Cancel:$$
a = b.
$$

 

[jim mcnamara]

Legal got all upset about a leap second, and when US daylight savings changed to a longer duration, legal went into a histrionic coma. After all, since calendars use numbers, then they must be higher math.

Sound familiar? then this one's for you:

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/supervillain_plan.png

 

[davenn]

 

[Borg]

What's an Astronormer?

 

[DennisN]

What's an Astronormer?

An astronomer who looks at planets, moons, stars and nebulas, but refer to them as "just various celestial objects"?

 

[fresh_42]

What's an Astronormer?

Not sure. Either those you deal with
$$
R_{\mu \nu} - \frac{1}{2}g_{\mu \nu} R = \kappa T_{\mu \nu}
$$
or those who deal with

 

[davenn]

What's an Astronormer?

hahaha good catch
I didn't notice the typo

 

[mfb]

An astronormer makes the distance to all objects equal to 1.

Good for asteroid defense, bad for supernovae.

 

[256bits]

Wouldn't that be if they filmed Cheers in space.
A different actor though, not the same Norm.
He would be an Astro-Norm-er

 

[fresh_42]

What's an Astronormer?

Now the physicists definitely went too far with their renormalization mania.

 

[fresh_42]

Wouldn't that be if they filmed Cheers in space.
A different actor though, not the same Norm.
He would be an Astro-Norm-er

There are similarities:

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

A couple of more...

 

[ISamson]

I know an interesting limerick about time travel:

There was a young lady of Whight,
She traveled much faster than light.
She traveled one day,
In a relative way,
And arrived on the previous night.

(Relative way refers to relativity)