Collection of Science Jokes P2

DennisN · Dec 19, 2016

Cartoon of a woman at a desk with a calculator and bills, gazing up at a thought bubble of equations including 1+1=2, sin, cosh, tanh and limits. Caption reads: While trying to figure out if insurance would cover her medical bills, Flo's mind wandered to simpler topics like quantum physics.

DennisN · Dec 19, 2016

A new policy for Physics Forums?

Red warning sign with the heading WARNING! showing a stick figure behind a desk and a stick figure seated and burning in a chair, with the text IF THE HELP DESK THINKS YOUR QUESTION IS STUPID, WE WILL SET YOU ON FIRE.

DrClaude · Dec 19, 2016

DennisN said:

This hits too close to home. I teach quantum mechanics but can't understand my university's accounting...

dkotschessaa · Dec 19, 2016

DrClaude said:

This hits too close to home. I teach quantum mechanics but can't understand my university's accounting...

My theory is... Yes you can. It's just...so..DULL.

fresh_42 · Dec 19, 2016

dkotschessaa said:

My theory is... Yes you can. It's just...so..DULL.

My theory is, that the capability is direct proportional to the distance to the next liquor store ...

collinsmark · Dec 21, 2016

Hee hee.

Six-panel comic strip: a king offers a wise man a reward of rice doubling on each chessboard square, is told it is only a little rice, the wise man is executed, and the final panel shows a professor saying stay away from applied mathematics.

[Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/the-other-side-of-the-chessboard-2]

davenn · Dec 26, 2016

Joke graphic on a dark grey background: text reads "I DON'T TRIP. I DO RANDOM GRAVITY CHECKS". A stick figure falling forward with a speech bubble reading "STILL GOOD!"

julian · Dec 26, 2016

An oxygen atom walks into a bar and tells the barman "I think I have lost an electron"
The barman says "Are you sure?"
The oxygen atom says "Yes, I'm positive."

fresh_42 · Dec 29, 2016

Cuius GUT demonstrationem mirabilem sane detexi hanc a PF regulis abhorrere et exiguitas non caperet.
(I have discovered a truly miraculous GUT, however PF rules and size of posts doesn't allow me a development here.)

mfb · Dec 29, 2016

Posuerunt eam in arXiv.

(Put it on arXiv - assuming google translate did a good job)

Wastrophysicist · Dec 30, 2016

http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/physicsjokes.html
It's funny to see they have an explanation for every joke for people away from science. Anyway, it's fun.

fresh_42 · Dec 30, 2016

Wastrophysicist said:

http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/physicsjokes.html
It's funny to see they have an explanation for every joke for people away from science. Anyway, it's fun.

One joke there was:

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a gin and tonic?" The bartender smiled wryly and replied, "For you, no charge."

Shouldn't it have been:
"If you hurry up, no charge."

fresh_42 · Jan 4, 2017

The less you have from the more you lose.

davenn · Jan 9, 2017

fresh_42 said:

The less you have from the more you lose.

so true !

DennisN · Jan 10, 2017

Cartoon by Steve Ward: two bouncers in white coats and bow ties stand outside a club entrance labelled Nightclub, one pointing at a double helix DNA strand, with the caption Sorry mate... no genes.

DennisN · Jan 10, 2017

Off the Mark cartoon: a scientist in a lab coat and goggles, holding a flask, speaks to a snowman lying on an examination table; speech bubble reads OF COURSE THE DNA TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? NO TWO DARN SNOWFLAKES ARE ALIKE!

dkotschessaa · Jan 11, 2017

Can anyone vouch for this?

Humorous periodic table with the title 'The Periodic Table: as seen by an organic chemist', where block labels mock chemists' views, e.g. 'Catalysts I use to do real chemistry', 'Fake elements made up by Commies', 'Who cares', 'Weird', 'Nukes' and 'MERICA!'.

DrClaude · Jan 11, 2017

dkotschessaa said:

Can anyone vouch for this?

Yes!

EnumaElish · Jan 26, 2017

Job interview for staff economist.

Six-panel comic in a job interview: an interviewer asks a candidate about strengths and weaknesses, and the candidate answers that they need shelter and calories and perform services in exchange for currency. The final panel is labelled EARLIER, showing the interviewer saying just be honest in this job interview.

Battlemage! · Jan 28, 2017

dkotschessaa said:

Can anyone vouch for this?
View attachment 111409

Lol that's really funny.

DennisN · Jan 29, 2017

dkotschessaa said:

Can anyone vouch for this?

I can vouch for that it is really funny!

DennisN · Jan 29, 2017

Cartoon of a scientist in a lab coat at a podium with a sign reading I Love Abraham, looking at a large green virus-like blob with a red center, while another scientist beside him says I don't know what this is, but you should see how fast it's growing!

DennisN · Jan 29, 2017

Cartoon panel of two daisy-like flowers seated at a wooden picnic table in a backyard in front of a wooden fence. One flower says: No, you may not be excused. You're not leaving this dinner table until you're finished photosynthesizing! The other replies: Aw, Mom!

Phellippe Marques · Jan 30, 2017

dkotschessaa said:

Can anyone vouch for this?
View attachment 111409

How about silicium?

dkotschessaa · Feb 3, 2017

Why won't the sun go to college?

It already has millions of degrees.

Bandersnatch · Feb 3, 2017

Hullo

Not wanting to make a new thread for this silly endeavour, I'll ask here.

Say, if you wanted to come up with a cheeky cosmology-related science joke, what would it be? (I'm thinking, maybe, to put it on a t-shirt)

The best I can think of is: 'yo mama so fat, her curvature is indistinguishable from flat using current best measurement methods'

Any other ideas?

fresh_42 · Feb 3, 2017

Why won't the sun go to college?

It already is bright enough.

dkotschessaa · Feb 3, 2017

Bandersnatch said:

Hullo

Not wanting to make a new thread for this silly endeavour, I'll ask here.

Say, if you wanted to come up with a cheeky cosmology-related science joke, what would it be? (I'm thinking, maybe, to put it on a t-shirt)

If I wanted to come up with one, how would I know what it would be until I came up with it?

Bandersnatch · Feb 3, 2017

Grumble grumble. It made sense in my mind when I was writing it! And I was only slightly drunk at the time, too.
No, seriously, I need to learn conditionals, properly, one of these days. o:)

dkotschessaa · Feb 3, 2017

Bandersnatch said:

Grumble grumble. It made sense in my mind when I was writing it! And I was only slightly drunk at the time, too.
No, seriously, I need to learn conditionals, properly, one of these days.

Just don't drink and derive!

Collection of Science Jokes P2

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