I don't know if "tautology" is the right word to be using there. Perhaps you mean to show that it is a theorem? As for your proof, you probably shouldn't instatiate y with y, but at any rate, when you instatiate x, you have to do so as an assumption. Within the scope of that assumption, you have to derive some existentially quantified sentence that does not contain the constant by which you instantiated x. From that you can conclude that your derived sentence is true even beyond the scope of your assumption, and then you can make the desired conclusion that you have. So your proof, although sketchy, is the right idea behind proving that (Ex)(Ay)p(x,y) -> (Ay)(Ex)p(x,y). However, this proof does not give you the converse because the converse is, in fact, not true, as honestrosewater's example demonstrates.
For #1, by "expand" it appears you mean that you wish to express your sentence in conjunctive normal form, that is, in the form:
[A v B] & [C v D] & ... & [Y v Z]
where I believe A, B, ..., Y, Z have to be either atomic sentences or negations of atomic sentences. I looked it up, and CNFs take the above form, but inside the brackets you can have any number of disjuncts (even just 1), not only 2. I don't know whether you did the work right, but one way to check that you've done it right is to look at what the CNF shows you. Since the CNF of your sentence is equivalent to your sentence, your sentence is true iff the CNF is true. The CNF is true iff all its conjuncts are true. All the conjuncts are true iff:
(~pv~p) is true, (~pv~q) is true, (qv~p) is true, and (qv~q) is true
iff
* ~p is true, (~pv~q) is true, (qv~p) is true, and (qv~q) is true
iff
~p is true. Why? Because clearly if all the sentences following * are true, then the first one is, and the first one is just ~p. On the other hand, if ~p is true, then certainly ~p is true, and the second and third sentences are also true (by the rule of disjunction introduction, i.e. the fact that a implies (a v b)), and the last sentence is a tautology so it's always true.
Now, check that your sentence is true iff ~p is true. I would rewrite your sentence as:
[~(pvq)v((~p)^q)]
[((~p)^(~q))v((~p)^q)] by DeMorgan's
[(~p)^((~q)vq)] by distribution
~p since ((~q)vq) is tautologous
From here, it's more than obvious that your sentence is true iff ~p is true.