The thing is my job isn't as hard as calculating the transfer rate. I only need to make comparisons like if the distance is 2 times the initial then transfer rate is 1/2^6 times the initial electron transfer rate, or like if its transition dipole moment changes such then its etr changes such etc...
This is why I need to understand what transition dipole moment is, and I already have a program that will do the calculation for me, I just need to know in which stage of the molecule we call its dipole moment, transition dipole moment (like it could be for example: it is the dipole moment of the molecule in its transition states etc...)
And although I had some introduction to quantum, I really didn't have yet any serious courses on that. I am doing computer, genetics, molecular modelling - there is yet to quantum; maybe in masters degree, but I am into biophysics now and I need some basic information on this topic. That is why I am not going into hard stuff like calculating electron transfer rate from zero. And I didn't understand what you meant by ay for i -> f, is the matrix element, <f| P |i>, what is i and f ? I may be able to derive the rest from that I suppose (I remember this matrix notation from introduction to quantum, I just need to review).
And I need to point out that I am more interested in using the Förster's theory in this project, (which I believe are deried from the theories you counted), I need to simply compare the initial and final distances, the initial and final transition dipole moments, the initial and final overlaps and maybe deltaG's to see the activation energy of electron transfer.
Regards
Sina