Advice for a young undergrad lusting after an older grad student?

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Long story short, I am currently an undergraduate at a public college and I, as highschool-ish as it sounds, have a big crush on my former TA. He's funny, cute, and a math grad student, which is EXACTLY my 'type' but those of you who have experience with these types of guys know that they can be a bit shy so it's not easy to interact much with them. Which leaves me in my current predicament that I'd like to get to know him better but I have no idea how.

Anyways, the major thing stopping me is the age difference (he's 29 and I'm 20) since I'm worried he wouldn't want to date someone so much younger than him and try as I might, I can't think of any way to get closer to him so I can get to know him better. He's not my TA anymore and I'm not going to be in any more of his classes, so that's out and I think just hanging around his office would be fairly creepy and a bit of a time waster for us both. I think if I could at least find a way to talk to him casually, I'd have a shot but it's easier said than done.

Realistically, I know this wouldn't lead to any super serious but I'm going nuts not acting on it. People have said that they've seen undergrad/grad relationships work out and others are naysaying it from the get-go.This has been going on for months now and I'd at least like to give it a try before I give up :( If anyone with experience or advice would put their two cents in, I'd be grateful.
 

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  • #2
DaveC426913
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Ask him if he would like to go for a coffee.

You spent 3 paragraphs talknig about how it might not work out becasue of the hurdles between you, but in the end it is obvious that you don't care. You want to give it a try.

So just ask him.
 
  • #3
Pengwuino
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Seconded. Ask him to coffee. I'd put money on how I bet he'd be flattered. Who cares if you're an undergrad and he's a grad, you're both adults, that's all the matters.

Worse case scenario, he says he's not interested.... which leaves you where you are now anyways.
 
  • #4
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Make sure you are naked when you ask him. That always works on me.
 
  • #5
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20 - 29 ... if he's a mathematician, he might notice the difference.

Seriously though, undergrad/grad, who cares ? I never noticed this. But I'm not a mathematician.
 
  • #6
Moonbear
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I have most of my nursing class lusting after their TAs. :rofl: At first, they used to make really lame excuses to ask the TAs questions about things they didn't need the TAs to help with, which I thought was hilariously transparent, but I think the TAs hadn't quite noticed. Then we went through the phase where the students would admit to me that they couldn't concentrate in lab because they were distracted looking at the TAs. Now all the students come to me for help instead, because they've figured out they really need to learn the stuff in class to pass and can't lust and concentrate at the same time. :rofl:

Anyway, once the course is over and grades are submitted, you're free to interact with your now former TA as you would any other person. (I'm going to have to ask my TAs how many students ask them out after the lab ends.)
 
  • #7
Pengwuino
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20 - 29 ... if he's a mathematician, he might notice the difference.
Just tell him "look, we both live in the set of integers, would you like to go for coffee?"
 
  • #8
Pengwuino
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I have most of my nursing class lusting after their TAs. :rofl: At first, they used to make really lame excuses to ask the TAs questions about things they didn't need the TAs to help with, which I thought was hilariously transparent, but I think the TAs hadn't quite noticed. Then we went through the phase where the students would admit to me that they couldn't concentrate in lab because they were distracted looking at the TAs. Now all the students come to me for help instead, because they've figured out they really need to learn the stuff in class to pass and can't lust and concentrate at the same time. :rofl:
I call BS. What kind of university is this where the grad students are worth looking at?
 
  • #9
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Just tell him "look, we both live in the set of integers, would you like to go for coffee?"
Yeah. Oh! if only you were still 19 and he was 29....."We're both in our prime..."

I would so use that line!
 
  • #10
Pengwuino
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Yeah. Oh! if only you were still 19 and he was 29....."We're both in our prime..."

I would so use that line!
Oh dear god....
 
  • #12
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but that would make him a pedophile.
 
  • #13
Moonbear
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I call BS. What kind of university is this where the grad students are worth looking at?
:rofl: I keep telling you all that it's much better to be a bio major than a physics major. :biggrin:

Actually, since it's an anatomy course, it's almost too cliche..."Can you help teach me anatomy?" :devil:
 
  • #14
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Yeah. Oh! if only you were still 19 and he was 29....."We're both in our prime..."

I would so use that line!

lol

seriously this would so work! Hope he has a sense of humor!
 
  • #15
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Yeah. Oh! if only you were still 19 and he was 29....."We're both in our prime..."

I would so use that line!
LOL HAHAHAHAHAH This is why I love these forums!!!

But yeah ASK HIM TO GO TO COFFEE!
 
  • #16
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but that would make him a pedophile.
Totally legal. Still both adults. I don't see ant difference between 20 & 29 and 19 & 29.
 
  • #17
Moonbear
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But yeah ASK HIM TO GO TO COFFEE!
Yes, they know...grad students LIVE on coffee...they will always accept an offer for more coffee.
 
  • #18
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I don't see ant difference between 20 & 29 and 19 & 29.
That's right : although 20 is not prime, the linear combinations of (20,29) also make up all possible integers, because 20 is still prime with 29.
 
  • #19
Pengwuino
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This thread is getting out of hand. Disgusted pending moderation?
 
  • #20
Office_Shredder
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You're only allowed to date someone 2/3rds of your age and 3/2ths your age. 19*3/2=28.5 so a 19 year old can date up to a 28 year old without being creepy. I think that's the rule
 
  • #21
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You're only allowed to date someone 2/3rds of your age and 3/2ths your age. 19*3/2=28.5 so a 19 year old can date up to a 28 year old without being creepy. I think that's the rule
Fine, that means the 19 year old must wait for one more year.
 
  • #22
DaveC426913
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2/3rds???

So a 21-year-old can date a 14-year-old???
A 24-year-old can date a 16-year-old???



No, the formula is b=.5a + 7.

So, he can date someone as young as half his age plus 7

14 14
16 15
18 16
20 17
22 18
29 21
...
80 47


Seraphin, when's your birthday?? Ask him for a coffee on your birthday.
 
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  • #23
Moonbear
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No, the formula is b=.5a + 7.
Really? Woo hoo! That means I can date my TA! Just wait until I tell my boyfriend. :uhh: Um, oh, wait...I think there might be a flaw there somewhere.
 
  • #24
MATLABdude
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You're only allowed to date someone 2/3rds of your age and 3/2ths your age. 19*3/2=28.5 so a 19 year old can date up to a 28 year old without being creepy. I think that's the rule
I thought the rule was:
[tex]age_{min}=\frac{age_{you}}{2}+7[/tex]

To the OP... Let's see...
  • He's a male graduate student, in his upper 20s, in mathematical sciences.
  • You're an undergraduate, female, and in your early 20s.

Based purely upon stereotypes, the presumption that he's single (and attracted to females) and that you have no severely hideous deformities, just bat your eyelashes, and he should be all over that. :biggrin:

Unless he's still TAing you, in which case, you should probably wait until next semester.

As with many academic life issues, Jorge Cham of PhdComics has some commentary:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=35
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=49
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=50

(Seriously though, even though I've never dated any of my TAs--and later, students--just do your standard thing when you're interested in a guy, although you might want to crank it up a notch since there's a possibility that he's entirely clueless about such things)
 
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  • #25
DaveC426913
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I thought the rule was:
[tex]age_{min}=\frac{age_{you}}{2}+7[/tex]
Dude. Come to the meetings! You're ten minutes late.
 

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