How to approach a girl at the library

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A university student expresses interest in a girl he frequently sees at the library but feels intimidated by her focused demeanor and the quiet environment. He seeks advice on how to approach her. Suggestions range from humorous and creative ideas, such as passing a note or making a light-hearted comment about her research, to straightforward approaches like simply asking her what she’s studying. Many contributors emphasize the importance of being genuine and confident, while also noting that a casual conversation starter can ease the tension. Some share personal anecdotes of successful interactions, highlighting that making a memorable impression without being overly aggressive is key. The discussion also touches on the challenges of maintaining a conversation and the need for a natural flow, with advice to focus on shared interests to keep the dialogue engaging. Overall, the consensus is to take a chance and approach her, as the worst outcome is often not as bad as anticipated.
  • #51
This whole thing reminds me of this:



*Comes from the movie Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog.
 
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  • #52
How to approach a girl at the library?

Using both legs. :biggrin:
 
  • #53
I was out on vacation for a couple of weeks. Ever since I came back I haven't seen her again. Maybe she is out of town too? Hopefully I will see her again when the fall semester starts in 2 weeks or so. I am braver now. I will do it. If she has a bf I will be very mad.
 
  • #54
bardeen said:
If she has a bf I will be very mad.
If this would actually make you mad, then perhaps you are not ready to approach this girl. I can understand being disappointed but "very mad" is not an appropriate response. :smile:
 
  • #55
bardeen said:
If she has a bf I will be very mad.

Mate you shouldn't be mad. If she has a bf, that just means you have to work a little bit harder ;)
 
  • #56
bardeen said:
I was out on vacation for a couple of weeks. Ever since I came back I haven't seen her again. Maybe she is out of town too? Hopefully I will see her again when the fall semester starts in 2 weeks or so. I am braver now. I will do it. If she has a bf I will be very mad.

If you really love for her and care for her, then you would want her to be happy no matter what. If she is currently with a guy who can make her the happiest girl in the world, then you should be happy for her.

If you are very mad, then it's not the girl you care for, but yourself. A relationship based on such selfish desires is not a good idea.
 
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  • #57
You guys are right. I guess I would just be kind of pissed because of all the build up and then nothing. But yeah I get it. :)
 
  • #58
What the heck are you doing looking for chicks at the library? That is NOT where girls go to find guys.
 
  • #59
Chronos said:
What the heck are you doing looking for chicks at the library? That is NOT where girls go to find guys.

Hahaha,

You know guys look for girls wherever they are. If he's in the library studying and a pretty girl walks in, guess what? He's looking at her. If the chemistry is working, he doesn't need to question his location.

Personally, it feels more natural to find a girl that isn't looking to find a guy. Seems better that way, unless you prefer to be the target, and not the arrow. :smile:
 
  • #60
Chronos said:
What the heck are you doing looking for chicks at the library? That is NOT where girls go to find guys.

I met my wife at the library's annual book sale. Though I don't think she was there looking for guys...

Anyhow - re subject of the thread :

Robert Preston in "Music Man " sets the bar

 
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  • #61
micromass said:
If you really love for her and care for her, then you would want her to be happy no matter what. If she is currently with a guy who can make her the happiest girl in the world, then you should be happy for her.

If you are very mad, then it's not the girl you care for, but yourself. A relationship based on such selfish desires is not a good idea.

This is a girl he hasn't yet gotten up the nerve to talk to. If he's already in love with her, especially to the point that he's hoping she meet the man of her dreams (who obviously isn't him, since she's not met him) then he might have a problem more serious than just lacking the nerve to talk to girls.

Although I do remember how hesitant I was to ask someone I actually liked for a date. It would have bothered me if they thought I was a dork for asking. It was easier to just ask someone I didn't know that happened to be kind of cute.

In other words, expecting a young person to have any sense at all when it comes to these things is sometimes asking a lot.
 
  • #62
Just go say "Hi," and ask about what she's working on. If she's attracted to you she'll respond positively, if she's not, she won't.

The majority of communication is nonverbal, so what you say doesn't really matter, it's the intention behind what you're saying. If your intention is that she is cute and you'd like to talk to her and have fun with her, then she'll be able to see that and will respond accordingly.

Don't get mad if she has a boyfriend. If she reacts negatively, that's fine too. There are a lot of cute girls in a lot of libraries. Brush it off, you're a smart fellow who has a lot going for him, there are plenty of cute chicks in your future my friend.
 
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  • #63
Chronos said:
What the heck are you doing looking for chicks at the library? That is NOT where girls go to find guys.

Maybe not, but if a girl is willing to spend her time in a library actually working on school, it's probably a safe bet that she's a cool chick and worth talking to. She has interests, she's capable of working to achieve her dreams, she is somewhat intellectual, and she is attractive. What more can a guy ask for?
 
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