PeterDonis
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Tomas Vencl said:I though that we can transform our general idea how merging process looks like into some general shape diagram (it can have more dimensions).
We can for the region at and outside the horizon; that's what the "pair of trousers" picture is conveying (in a very oversimplified way--a more realistic picture would have the legs of the trousers twisting around each other, to reflect the fact that black hole mergers usually involve two holes in orbits spiraling inward about each other, not just falling straight in).
The region inside the horizon is the problem; we don't have a good way of picturing that (beyond "inside the trousers"), unfortunately.