Why Does She Only Reach Out When I Stop Contacting Her?

[MikeCL]

Long story short about a few weeks ago this girl I know who I'm friends with sends me this message on facebook that went something like this.. " hey hun how are you doing haven't heard from you in a while.. blah blah"

So I sent her a text message and she never responded back I waited maybe I don't know 3 weeks then I just forgot all about it.. but now that it's vacation time at my job and last year she asked me if I could make her graduation, I asked her via a message on facebook kinda like the way sent went me one you know starting out with hey hun and all that.. i asked her how she was doing and all and when was the date..

anyways the response I got was just straight to the point she said the date and nothing else, no saying I'm doing well or anything like that.. I don't get it because when I totally forget about her she starts sending that hey hun text messages but when I respond it may day hours or days OR I never get a response back..

I don't understand her behavior...


The thing about it she asked me to come to her graduation (325 miles) and she is the one who calls me hun.. just something does the seem right with the whole thing.. If I stop contacting her and forget about her she starts sending me text messages again. I've known this girl for at least 7 years.

 

[256bits]

a message on facebook kinda like the way sent went me one you know

Is that Yoda speak?

Hun - Calling you hun doesn't mean she you are her honey chops. She is using it as a friendly greeting in a very colloquiall manner, so don't read anything more into it than that.

As for her messages being spaced out the way you describe, you will just have to accept that as the way she will communicate, as she still wants to be in contact with you to some extent. It is your chioce to go or not go to her graduation but for what special reason you would want to I am not sure, as the both of you do not sound especially close from waht you have written. Maybe just send her a card expressing congatutaions.

 

[MikeCL]

Well when she sends me text messages saying I wish I could spend time with you and saying I love you I'm not too sure, I planned on not responding back to her next messages just to see what she's going to do.

 

[chiro]

Sounds like a ping timeout. Time to make a new connection.

 

[Dale]

If you are into her then express your interest directly and clearly. Worst case you ruin what appears to be a rather poor friendship that is likely to fall apart on its own anyway.

If you are not into her then don't bother with anything. The occasional text isn't a big deal.

 

[Gokul43201]

I don't understand her behavior...

Someday, someone will win a Nobel Peace Prize for explaining female behavior. Until that date, this statement (and gazillions like it) will remain a tautology.

 

[MikeCL]

Someday, someone will win a Nobel Peace Prize for explaining female behavior. Until that date, this statement (and gazillions like it) will remain a tautology.

haha yeah that female behavior is just crazy.

 

[lisab]

Long story short about a few weeks ago this girl I know who I'm friends with sends me this message on facebook that went something like this.. " hey hun how are you doing haven't heard from you in a while.. blah blah"

So I sent her a text message and she never responded back I waited maybe I don't know 3 weeks then I just forgot all about it.. but now that it's vacation time at my job and last year she asked me if I could make her graduation, I asked her via a message on facebook kinda like the way sent went me one you know starting out with hey hun and all that.. i asked her how she was doing and all and when was the date..

anyways the response I got was just straight to the point she said the date and nothing else, no saying I'm doing well or anything like that.. I don't get it because when I totally forget about her she starts sending that hey hun text messages but when I respond it may day hours or days OR I never get a response back..

I don't understand her behavior...


The thing about it she asked me to come to her graduation (325 miles) and she is the one who calls me hun.. just something does the seem right with the whole thing.. If I stop contacting her and forget about her she starts sending me text messages again. I've known this girl for at least 7 years.

It's hard to read much into it. I don't know where you're from, but in the US "hun" is a rather mild term of endearment. For example, in the US South, that term could be used when addressing a cashier of either gender, or a salesperson. Has she ever used that term with you before? Does she use it a lot with friends?

Is it possible that message was meant for someone else, and she was too embarrassed to fess up?

 

[Evo]

My take on it is that she may just be stringing you along. Not interested in you, but not willing to break ties yet.

 

[MikeCL]

My take on it is that she may just be stringing you along. Not interested in you, but not willing to break ties yet.

Break ties of what? I don't understand girls who do that.. IF they are wanting to break ties it's with what? dating? A relationship?

It's hard to read much into it. I don't know where you're from, but in the US "hun" is a rather mild term of endearment. For example, in the US South, that term could be used when addressing a cashier of either gender, or a salesperson. Has she ever used that term with you before? Does she use it a lot with friends?

Is it possible that message was meant for someone else, and she was too embarrassed to fess up?

Well given she would text me a buch of times before she went back to school it was like almost every day for a while.. she's called me hun in person like I've said before we known each other for a long while and I know for sure she had a crush on me back when we met.. Somehow we lost contact so when last year she came back up we ran into one another, she found me on facebook and asked me for my number and all and I gave it to her and that's when she started texting me over the summer during my vacation saying blah blah I wish I could spend time with you and I miss you.

 

[Evo]

Break ties of what? I don't understand girls who do that.. IF they are wanting to break ties it's with what? dating? A relationship?

I don't know her but I know many women, so I am familiar with this behavior. You're her ego boost. As long as you respond her ego is boosted. She doesn't respond because she doesn't want a relationship with you, at least not now, she is "stringing you along". I hope that maybe she's just weird, but I've seen this behavior so often.

She may or may not be aware of your feelings.

When I refer to her, I should say "women that do this".

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I say she's interested in you and you should pursue her hun. Let us know how it goes.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I think Evo nailed it. I'd just ignore her from now on. She doesn't really want it to go anywhere.

 

[MikeCL]

I don't know her but I know many women, so I am familiar with this behavior. You're her ego boost. As long as you respond her ego is boosted. She doesn't respond because she doesn't want a relationship with you, at least not now, she is "stringing you along". I hope that maybe she's just weird, but I've seen this behavior so often.

She may or may not be aware of your feelings.

When I refer to her, I should say "women that do this".

hmm I never knew google had some many topics about girl/guys with ego boost regarding texting it's pretty interesting to read.. It sounds like a stupid thing to do however..

I'm going to ignore her for awhile and see how she reacts.. should be easy now since the weather is getting nice. At the most she might try to call my phone.

 

[lostprophets]

Long story short about a few weeks ago this girl I know who I'm friends with sends me this message on facebook that went something like this.. " hey hun how are you doing haven't heard from you in a while.. blah blah"

So I sent her a text message and she never responded back I waited maybe I don't know 3 weeks then I just forgot all about it.. but now that it's vacation time at my job and last year she asked me if I could make her graduation, I asked her via a message on facebook kinda like the way sent went me one you know starting out with hey hun and all that.. i asked her how she was doing and all and when was the date..

anyways the response I got was just straight to the point she said the date and nothing else, no saying I'm doing well or anything like that.. I don't get it because when I totally forget about her she starts sending that hey hun text messages but when I respond it may day hours or days OR I never get a response back..

I don't understand her behavior...


The thing about it she asked me to come to her graduation (325 miles) and she is the one who calls me hun.. just something does the seem right with the whole thing.. If I stop contacting her and forget about her she starts sending me text messages again. I've known this girl for at least 7 years.

to much thinking and not enough REAL human contact.
ie phone call.
written words can mean many things and set the mind into a frenzy of what,why ifs and buts.
stop thinking and use the voice to ask the questions