Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 366835

See also this Loading Artist comic.

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[Halc]

View attachment 366836

Yea, but the tariffs bring it back up to 5

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 366835

How about: Your defibrillator function will be restored after this Windows update.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Swamp Thing]

"Airplane-Shaped Kids Xylophone Toy - 8-Tone Percussion Instrument " .

.. A winged instrument?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

White to move. Mate in a week.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

White to move. Mate in a week.

View attachment 366859

Chess and shuffle board all in one game. You have the slide the pieces into position.

 

[BillTre]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

Jewel robbery in the Louvre:​

French police suspect eleven Hollywood stars​

View attachment 366664

Taken from https://www.der-postillon.com/2025/10/oceans-louvre.html.

To find the jewels, look in the suspects' attics... behind the louvers.

 

[jtbell]

 

[sbrothy]

 

[sbrothy]

Heh, yeah. You know me by now. Always testing the borders. But yeah that was a little over the top. I admit. Sorry.

EDIT: Haven't had anything to eat before now. I think that may have influenced my bad decision.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Heh, yeah. You know me by now. Always testing the borders. But yeah that was a little over the top. I admit. Sorry.

EDIT: Haven't had anything to eat before now. I think that may have influenced my bad decision.

Obviously I missed something good!

 

[fresh_42]

Heh, yeah. You know me by now. Always testing the borders. But yeah that was a little over the top. I admit. Sorry.

EDIT: Haven't had anything to eat before now. I think that may have influenced my bad decision.

Reminds me of a colleague who once said to me: "Stop! First, we go to lunch. Now!"

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Reminds me of a colleague who once said to me: "Stop! First, we go to lunch. Now!"

Reminds me of a sign I used to wear - Eat at Joes.

 

[sbrothy]

Yeah, sorry people, your loss.

I better keep it to myself though if I don't want to get kicked out of here. It's not difficult to find references I scattered around though. Think saucy.

EDIT: Oh, and by the way: I'm really impressed with the moderation speed (unless I'm on a special watch list which wouldn't surprise me)!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Yeah, sorry people, your loss.

I better keep it to myself though if I don't want to get kicked out of here. It's not difficult to find references I scattered around though. Think saucy.

EDIT: Oh, and by the way: I'm really impressed with the moderation speed (unless I'm on a special watch list which wouldn't surprise me)!

Oh you are definitely on my watch list.

Need a watch?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[berkeman]

Damn you fresh, that took me way too long to figure out.

 

[BillTre]

Bet that one hurt!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Looks Romulan to me.

 

[fresh_42]

Looks Romulan to me.

Wrong neutrino signature.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Wrong neutrino signature.

Nice catch! LOL!

 

[nsaspook]

 

[jack action]

Shopping centers are so boring, because if you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Spoiler: What?

you've seen the mall.

 

[jack action]

​

Jim Cantore is a meteorologist famous for a video gone viral:

​

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DaveC426913]

Shopping centers are so boring, because if you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Spoiler: What?

you've seen the mall.

Shopping centers are so boring, because if you've seen one, you've seen themall.

Better delivery?

 

[dextercioby]

Shopping centers are so boring, because if you've seen one, you've seen themall.

Better delivery?

That space between the last 2 words is exactly what makes it less lame, possibly even interesting. Deleting it, you've upgraded its lameness to a ceiling level.

 

[symbolipoint]

Shopping centers are so boring, because if you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Spoiler: What?

you've seen the mall.

I did not as much as check under the Spoiler yet. I believe I know how this joke works. "them all", "the m all" , "the mall".

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: https://reparrishcomics.com/post/798862380830490624)

 

[WWGD]

Leaks from the next planned Rocky movie ( Lost count). Rocky goes into business with his former Russian opponent and they open an optical store in Siberia: "The eye of the Taiga".

 

[WWGD]

Shopping centers are so boring, because if you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Spoiler: What?

you've seen the mall.

Mirror won't tell me. I'm still trying to figure out who's the fairest of the mall.

 

[nuuskur]

White to move. Mate in a week.

View attachment 366859

that's really good exercise for both the body and the mind

 

[sbrothy]

View attachment 366916

Embarrassingly, I'd never heard of Rust until your joke there. I had a nostalgia attack reading about it and seeing a reference to Dr. Dobb's Journal!

Rust does not use garbage collection. Memory and other resources are instead managed through the "resource acquisition is initialization" convention, with optional reference counting. Rust provides deterministic management of resources, with very low overhead. Values are allocated on the stack by default, and all dynamic allocations must be explicit.

Rust (Wikipedia)

Gotta love that expression.

 

[WWGD]

Embarrassingly, I'd never heard of Rust until your joke there. I had a nostalgia attack reading about it and seeing a reference to Dr. Dobb's Journal!



Rust (Wikipedia)

Gotta love that expression.

No diamonds? Or at least a Green Manalishi?

 

[sbrothy]

No diamonds? Or at least a Green Manalishi?

I'm afraid that joke didn't land here. Is it an age-thing?

 

[WWGD]

I'm afraid that joke didn't land here. Is it an age-thing?

Judas Priest are timeless. I've heard them in radios recently. Maybe you're more into pop than metal/Hard Rock. Or you love some baby but not a Manalishi.

 

[sbrothy]

I enjoy everything except rap and hip-hop. Especially hardcore metal and progressive (psy)trance. Also flamenco and opera. We have entire thread dedicated to the subject here.

I like beer. At least 7% alc. vol. Anything thinner tastes like water.

Post in thread 'Most Hard-Driving Music?'

May 29, 2025

From hard to soft:



Love it when in the next one he "sings" "Urgh!"



...and someone mentioned traditional black metal. With these guys you can almost smell the Norwegian wooden churches burning, points for scene show anyway:



Talk about angry young men!

• sbrothy

• 
• 

 

[WWGD]

I enjoy everything except rap and hip-hop. Especially hardcore metal and progressive (psy)trance. Also flamenco and opera. We have entire thread dedicated to the subject here.

I like beer. At least 7% alc. vol. Anything thinner tastes like water.

Post in thread 'Most Hard-Driving Music?'

May 29, 2025

From hard to soft:



Love it when in the next one he "sings" "Urgh!"



...and someone mentioned traditional black metal. With these guys you can almost smell the Norwegian wooden churches burning, points for scene show anyway:



Talk about angry young men!

• sbrothy

• 
• 

I used to intern , i.e., little more than being a Caffeine-Supply Engineer at this place that had a (Digital) radio on all the time. They'd switch stations occassionally. So I've taken in a vast swath of music over that time.

 

[sbrothy]

Hah! But you knew! You're just yanking my chain!

 

[gmax137]

Or at least a Green Manalishi?

I still like the Peter Green (RIP ) Fleetwood Mac original