Collection of Science Jokes P2

[collinsmark]

I saw a new one (well, it is new to me):

Remember the seat-belt campaign, "Click it or Ticket?"

for CoVid
"Mask it or Casket"

This is actually not true, hence only partially funny. The masks protect others, not oneself. So wearing no mask is like speeding on the highway. People risk other people's lives. Not a new phenomenon.

There's nothing in the phrase that prohibits the casket in question being somebody else's.

 

[fresh_42]

There's nothing in the phrase that prohibits the casket in question being somebody else's.

Yes, there is. It suggests a symmetry which isn't there. Thus the pun relies on false assumptions.

 

[collinsmark]

It suggests a symmetry

No it doesn't.

It's pretty simple. Wear a mask so people are less likely to die. Mask it or casket. Simple.

 

[davenn]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 271447

Reminds me of this:

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 271447

My buddies and I saw a White Lamborghini drive past us once.

We noted that the only time we've ever seen a red Lambo is when it was driving away from us.
And the only time we've ever seen a blue Lambo, it was heading toward us.

 

[etotheipi]

We noted that the only time we've ever seen a red Lambo is when it was driving away from us. And the only time we've ever seen a blue Lambo, it was heading toward us.

Most of the time I can’t even remember if I’ve had breakfast yet, let alone the directions of motion of cars I’ve passed on the road

 

[phinds]

Most of the time I can’t even remember if I’ve had breakfast yet, let alone the directions of motion of cars I’ve passed on the road

Yes, but your breakfast doesn't red shift or blue shift (unless of course your are eating on the run )

 

[Ibix]

My buddies and I saw a White Lamborghini drive past us once.

I know a car enthusiast who has a Lamborghini LM002. Apparently, if you drive carefully, you can get 10 mpg out of it.

 

[Ibix]

Yes, but your breakfast doesn't red shift or blue shift (unless of course your are eating on the run )

I dunno. I could sometimes come close to red shifting (or blue shifting, from my perspective) my food when I was in my teens and growing.

 

[davenn]

Apparently, if you drive carefully, you can get 10 mpg out of it.

I guess that's better than 10 gallons / mile

 

[mfb]

Not even tanks need that much fuel. They need something of the order of 1 liter per kilometer. Whatever that might be in weird inverted units.

 

[fresh_42]

Not even tanks need that much fuel. They need something of the order of 1 liter per kilometer. Whatever that might be in weird inverted units.

7.2 Leopard 2, Abram twice as much.

 

[DaveC426913]

...1 liter per kilometer. Whatever that might be in weird inverted units.

That would be ... 1 kilometer per liter...

 

[mfb]

That's regular, inverted units, not weird, inverted units.

 

[Ibix]

Not even tanks need that much fuel.

Town or long distance driving? Idling at the traffic lights wrecks your fuel consumption.

 

[DennisN]

A very funny article:
(n.b. some foul words in one quote, but apart from that, it's no foul language)
https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Turing_Duck_Test

Turing Duck Test flowchart:

 

[Ibix]

A very funny article:
(n.b. some foul words in one quote, but apart from that, it's no foul language)
https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Turing_Duck_Test

A lot of fowl language, though.

 

[DrGreg]

A very funny article:
(n.b. some foul words in one quote, but apart from that, it's no foul language)
https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Turing_Duck_Test

They missed out the final test: Does the quack have an echo? If yes, it's not a duck.

Spoiler: I don't get it

A reference to the once-popular myth that a duck's quack does not echo. Anyone who knows anything about physics ought to recognise that is nonsense.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[jack action]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Frigus]

 

[Frigus]

 

[iVenky]

View attachment 271447

This is so deep !

 

[etotheipi]

 

[Ibix]

The "light" versions of the Leptons are marketed as Neu-tea-no.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 272432

[Voice=dad_voice]I'll be checking your room later for crumbs of dark matter, young man. Make sure I don't find any...[/voice]

 

[etotheipi]

[Voice=dad_voice]I'll be checking your room later for crumbs of dark matter, young man. Make sure I don't find any...[/voice]

Well, don't think he'd have much trouble finding any, I've always been a bit of a wimp

 

[LCSphysicist]

Flat earther people believe that LHC is a portal to bring back the devil to earth!
This is not a joke at all, but i can't help falling in laugh imagining the devil until midnight trying to prove to himself he is able to make the universe's entropy decrease while the physicists comforting him.

 

[mfb]

View attachment 272430

Ice τeμ

 

[Ibix]

Do you know why we have two lungs? Because they're pleural.

 

[Ibix]

How do flat earthers travel around the world?

On a plane.

 

[fresh_42]

We DO need this OUCH icon!

 

[mfb]

We do have a few options:

 

[Ibix]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint. The second one orders half a pint. The third one orders a quarter of a pint. The barman quickly pulls two pints and hands them over. "But no more, fellas. You got to know your limits."

 

[mfb]

If the mathematicians need to keep ordering beers they are doing it wrong. They just need one beer each. Every mathematician x gives their beer to mathematician [x/2], rounded down. Now everyone has two beers and can drink one before you can repeat the process.

 

[Ibix]

But if they order sequentially they can always use the principle of Hilbert's Hotel to get one more beer in.

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

 

[mfb]

Why do mathematicians make terrible farmers?

They think all fields must be rings... and they expect the all the plants in it to multiply.

 

[LCSphysicist]

 

[Keith_McClary]

The Chaos Theory and Non-linear Dynamics in Heart Rate Variability in Patients with Heart Failure

This study evaluate and quantify the non-linear dynamic changes of heart rate variability based on "chaos theory" and fractal mathematics in 250 patients with heart failure during 12 months. Some different non-linear methods were applied: fractal dimension (FD), detrented fluctuation analysis (DFA) and approximate entropy (ApEn). Fractal correlation properties and fractal dimension in this study may reflect altered neuroanatomic interaction that may predispose to the development of severe HF. It was found that the short-term fractal scaling exponent (alpha 1 ) is significantly lower in patients with HF. The patients with HF had also lower approximate entropy and higher fractal dimension with positive impact of modern HE therapy.

 

[Ibix]

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

 

[Baluncore]

An alternative synthesis; (4Na)n → Batman

 

[mfb]

Barium, Thulium, Americium ->BaTmAm
Close.