# Dealing with bullies in school

1. Feb 21, 2005

### Physics is Phun

dealing with @holes. help me!!

I am sick and tired of it. several time per week on my bus I am always getting things thown at me. eg. sandwiches, candy, cookies, sometimes nuts (the ones that go with bolts) I don't know why they pick on me, probably because I wear glasses am not that good looking and because they know I won't fight them. (although sometimes I would like to beat them with a giant board and nail. ) My bus driver is the most stupid person I've ever seen. She seems completely oblivious to me being pelted with things and my every once in a while, very loud swearing towards the back of the bus but if someone rests their feet on the back of the seat in front of them she's all eyes and ears. What should I do about this? I can't say anything to make them stop. Whenever I do, someone 'reccomends' that I "fight him" I am just getting sick of it. 17 year olds acting like they were 7.

2. Feb 21, 2005

### Tom Mattson

Staff Emeritus
Any particular reason?

3. Feb 21, 2005

### Staff: Mentor

Have your parents call the bus company and file a complaint and demand that the bus driver stop what is going on. The bus driver and the bus company are responsible for your welfare on that bus and if the bus driver allows this to continue they can get into serious trouble with the school district.

4. Feb 21, 2005

### the number 42

I suggest you rent Dirty Harry and learn the words to Row Your Boat.

5. Feb 21, 2005

### the number 42

Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2017
6. Feb 21, 2005

### Moonbear

Staff Emeritus
Or, just close your eyes and think about life in 10 years when you have a college degree and a great job and they're still mopping floors in a fast food joint.

Work on your throwing arm, and when they throw stuff at you, feign innocence as you state, "I think you dropped this," and throw it back at them. (Okay, not the most mature response, but they probably are picking on you precisely because you don't do anything to fight back...kids who do stuff like that are usually cowards at heart and wouldn't take you on if they thought you'd return in kind.)

7. Feb 21, 2005

### Norman

I think there is a time to step up and stand up for yourself. I would try and go through all the usual avenues that have already been suggested. This bus driver sounds like a real compassionate human being, but maybe if the boss puts some pressure on him/her, the problem will be solved. Other options may be to not take the bus if you can, I guess this is not an option since I am guessing that you wouldn't be taking the bus if you didn't have to. Anyways, the way you carry yourself and your previous actions are telling these jerks that they can mess with you and get away with it. They will most likely continue until they find someone else to pick on (unfortunately), they are made to stop by someone else or you make them stop. The major thing is to not let this escalate into it making your life a into a living h**l but also to not go too far in your reaction to the problem. I don't know you and I am guessing that this is getting pretty bad if you are posting it on here. Have you told your parents yet? Do they know how bad it is?

I am not sure how comfortable you would be with this but call these people out on it. Blatantly call them out on it- like moonbear said, bullies are cowards at heart and only pick on other people to make themselves feel better and get attention. Ask them straight faced and with an assertive tone, "Why are you doing this? Does it make you feel good about yourself to pick on other people? Do you like acting like a jerk?"

Another thing you might want to think about doing is working on what kind of attitude you project when you are faced with these kinda situations. If you exude confidence and strength, people will assume you are confident and strong (whether or not you are feeling that way at that time is irrelevant, the attitude is what counts). And it doesn't matter what you look like, how you dress, etc. It is the projection of your attitude that matters. You might consider taking up a martial art- not to learn how to fight, but the discipline involved with martial arts will work its way into your everyday presence.

I want to conclude with- I am not a parent, a councelor or anyone who really knows anything about teaching other people about how to really deal with these things. And I would really like to urge you talk to your parents or a teacher or any adult you trust. A lot of times this makes all the difference.

I really hope things start to look up!

Last edited: Feb 21, 2005
8. Feb 21, 2005

### Astronuc

Staff Emeritus
I would go along these lines, but perhaps start with the bus driver first, and get her to stop it, and if she does not, then ask her for the supervisor. If she declines, then tell her that you'll have to discuss it with your parents or principal at the school.

My daughter was harassed by a boy, and we had to go to the authorities. The harassment stopped.

If you retaliate by throwing things back at them, then the situation may escalate. If you're not prepared to fight, or rather, if you do not look like you're prepared to fight, it's best to go to authorities. BTW, I do not endorse or encourage fighting.

Last edited: Feb 21, 2005
9. Feb 21, 2005

### Math Is Hard

Staff Emeritus
The only reason bullies never terrorized me in high school is they thought I was psycho.
I recommend a black trenchcoat, an aggro band t-shirt, combat boots, and maybe a piercing or two. (or whatever the scary kids are wearing these days)

ok, seriously though - are you allowed to wear headphones on the bus? Maybe that would help you at least to tune the a-holes out somewhat. They need to get your attention in order for the tormenting to be worthwhile. Stay in your own sphere - don't acknowledge them. My brother went through the same b.s. in high school. Eventually the kid (a-hole) who was harrassing him was expelled, but it was a long and difficult process. That kid was physically abusive to my brother (pushed him, stabbed him with pencils, etc) and it was still very difficult to get rid of him.

I agree with the other folks who said that it's time for adults to get involved here. The bus driver needs to stop this. There should be consequences for kids who throw food at you or anyone else. It sounds like there is not.

Last edited: Feb 21, 2005
10. Feb 21, 2005

### spender

Blow up that God damned bus into the air !

11. Feb 21, 2005

### Moonbear

Staff Emeritus
I'm surprised the bus driver isn't doing anything since she's probably the one stuck cleaning up all the stuff the other kids are throwing at you.

Um, yeah, don't take my suggestion to throw the stuff back at them seriously. Just think about doing it to cheer yourself up.

People who run bus companies don't like it when parents start camping out in their offices, so getting your parents to talk to the bus company is almost always the best way to get the bus driver to do something. (When I was a kid, we had a crazy bus driver who ran over all the curbs and anyone's bookbags sitting on the curb...when it was my bag that got run over, my mom showed up at the bus company and refused to leave until they replaced the broken items from my bookbag and got a new driver since clearly the one we had was unsafe. Then again, my mom was also the type who overreacted to everything else too...I was mortified when she decided my sister and I had to walk a block too far to the bus stop and went to the bus company demanding a new bus stop location closer to our house, which meant I got to stand alone at the bus stop with nobody but my sister...after school, I'd walk the extra block to get off with everyone else so I didn't look like such a dork).

12. Feb 21, 2005

### JasonRox

Bring a two litre soda on the bus and let it spill all over the floor without others really seeing. After that, blame the kids throwing ****. The bus driver would sure hate to clean a mess like that.

I would add to the mess. Like pickle juice, rotten tomatoes, mustard, just to piss the bus driver off.

13. Feb 21, 2005

### dduardo

Staff Emeritus
Use the law of inertia:

Big heavy physics book = Pain

14. Feb 21, 2005

### Integral

Staff Emeritus
If possible, sit in the far back seat. Hard to hit you in the back, or you can see it coming, and holler, "Quit throwing", while they're in the act, this increases the likely hood that the driver will see it. If you can't get to the back seat then sit in the seat right behind the driver. Use his rear view or sit a bit sideways. Sooner or later you will be able to dodge something that goes on to hit the driver... That ought to get her attention.

I well remember being in your spot while in High School, one particular fellow, being egged on by his "buddies", would seek out opportunities to throw stuff at me. On the bus, lunch time, anytime. He wanted a fight, I was not the fighting type, even though I was not afraid of him or thought he could beat me, I simply could not see any reason to fight. Finally near the end of the year I gave in, "Ok, lets fight" So we met in a field after school, his buddies were calling all the shots (made me take off my class ring, I kinda figured that since I had been wearing it all along it should stay.. but no.

Finally after I bloodied his nose and it was pretty well established that I was the victor, they decided the fight was over.

Next day. the next Ahole in the pecking order started looking for a fight.

There is no end to it.

Last edited: Feb 22, 2005
15. Feb 21, 2005

### Andromeda321

I vote for what Integral says regarding sitting right next to the driver: if you don't want to pick a fight it's the best place to be because if they aim wrong they'll hit the driver instead of you. Might not be the best of ideas to pick a fight because if your driver's that inept to not notice the stuff being tossed in your direction she might not realize just who started the fight which'll just land you in hot water...

16. Feb 21, 2005

### Moonbear

Staff Emeritus
I also vote for Integral's suggestion of sitting right behind the bus driver. Maybe that's why I never got picked on like that as a kid, I used to sit there anyway. I was such a geek...sit at the front of the bus, sit at the front of the class, etc. I got teased for being smart, but it was just words, never anything physical. I'm afraid the back of the bus might be too dangerous. You might see what's coming your way, but even less likely the bus driver would notice anything, and then you're cornered.

17. Feb 21, 2005

### Chronos

A more direct approach is suggested. When the next incident occurs, ask your tormentors to cease and desist. Explain to them that talking trash is one thing, but throwing stuff is called assault. And when it hits you, it's called assault and battery. Make it clear you will report any future incidents.

If it does happen again, announce loudly you are reporting the incident. Notify the bus driver and point out that such behavior can cause injury - and she, and her employer, could be held liable. In the company of witnesses, go to the principal's office and file a complaint. Insist for a written copy of your complaint. Give that to your parents.

18. Feb 22, 2005

### Smurf

Very official Chronos. Make sure you use big words and nice grammar like that when doing it.

19. Feb 22, 2005

### juvenal

Start helping a big kid or two out with their homework and get some protection. Getting your parents to complain to the bus company, as suggested, may help. Standing up to the bullies probably won't help right now. Some of the other suggestions - martial arts, gaining more confidence, etc are long-term solutions.

20. Feb 22, 2005

### juvenal

Unhand me, you knave!