Father puts .45 rounds into teenage girl's laptop

[cristycs]

Are we allowed to shoot you?

If your goal in life is me getting shoot I would gladly stay and take a bullet.

EDIT: why would you like to shoot me ?

 

[fellupahill]

You guys can say all you want bad about the father. The girls major complaints were chores. Not molestation or other abuse. She even needed to lie and say she made "all the beds every morning" and "had to do everyone's laundry" cause she knew the truth was at worst, minimal even to kids.(the dad pointed out that what she claimed was a lie) The girl obviously has decent parents if they care enough to take the time to make a stupid video like that. My mom woulda been to drunk to even use the computer lmfao. The fact that they go through the trouble to check posts that are blocked from them seeing also goes a long way.
I think all parents should read their kids facebook and be involved in their lives. This is coming from a 22 year old who knows what can happen if their parents don't show interest(me lol). I see it with my younger friends now too. buddy of mines younger brother is 14 and smokes heroin. His parents DONT KNOW. He has all the symptoms of a junkie, gets sick, bags under his eyes, pens all go missing, he posts it on his facebook occasionally, AND HIS PARENTS DON'T KNOW. The kid is going to die because the parents don't care enough to check. Its stupid when its that obvious. (I said it in that context to make a point. As of about 3 weeks ago the kid went to rehab after being arrested at school with dope. After using for at least 6 months, that's just the time my brother knew he was doing it). I bought my brother a drug test, and tested him just to be sure. There are ALOT of young kids doing H. I mean ALOT. I don't know if its always been like that, but they are YOUNG. 13-14 doing Meth and H.

Back to the point (sorry lol) One could probably argue that shooting it was a little over reaction. We can't say he over reacted with how he felt, just the act of shooting was too much. Now if we assume this, then if we assume that they also live in a different environment from most. THis could easily say that relative to what is considered usual were there from, its not as over the top as one might think. No one was ever in danger, and it definitely sent a point. I think personally he should be applauded for going outside the box and thinking unconventionally to raise his kid right. Now she will have a reminder that she can see and remember that all the stuff she has is a privilege not a right, and that she is blessed and should be greatfull. At least in a perfect world she would think that. She would probably think about how crazy her dad was, but hopefully when she is older she will be great-full for the lesson.

 

[Char. Limit]

Well it is. A logical person should see it. (might need a bit of imagination to).

EDIT: hint "math" problem.

We shouldn't have to, though. This isn't the homework help section. Just tell us what you're trying to say.

 

[jim hardy]

Dad did exactly what he said he would do.

"I told her if no uncertain terms that we had already taken it away from her once. The next time, there wouldn’t be the same chance. If it happened again, “I’ll put a bullet through it.”"

had he not , what would have been the message?

That tale will become a family legend and the grandkids will love it.

There's almost a song about it already -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=7VKdwx5AB5k

old jim

 

[cristycs]

We shouldn't have to, though. This isn't the homework help section. Just tell us what you're trying to say.

Thinking for a solution to a problem is not homework.

Well every person has his opinion, it is harder to try to convince someone about my opinions, it's the end result that matters. Me saying "Both are wrong." is like saying to you: x+y=z dosen't matter to me if x=-3 and y=3 or x and y are both 0 where x=my opinion about the father and y=my opinion about the daughter and z=("Both are wrong"), the only thing that matters is if we agree that z="both are wrong".

Ex: 3 people tasting a 3 layer cake, and the first one says I don't like the cake because of the second layer, the second one says I don't like the cake because the first layer, and the third one says I don't like neither of the layers. Why should they be arguing about the layers? when they have something in common, they all didn't like the cake.

This can be extended to religion, politics, education...

 

[Kholdstare]

If it was a Mac that bullet did not go wasted. :)

 

[feathermoon]

I didn't say anyone said it was illegal.

I was commenting on the complaint of them using a gun how they feel, moral arguments aside, it was perfectly acceptable to do it (RE: all that 'endangerment' nonsense).

Well, considering that the odds of being shot by a gun increase dramatically when you decide to keep one in the house, I'd hardly consider gun safety "'endangerment' nonsense" at all. He also has a responsibility to teach his children to respect firearms, and discharging them into appliances a few feet from the house doesn't quite do that.

 

[feathermoon]

The line about the extras are just extraneous things that parents usually give as gifts so that the child can be happier. It is a form of love and in that same light should earn more respect from the child for the parent. The parent just doesn't give the child things for no particular reason. Gifts are a form of endearment of the child.

They raised her the best way the could but like many other parents, they aren't perfect. The father just decided to teach her a lesson because she disrespected him.

Its not really human nature to respect someone that dotes on you. Things that are free are not valued. If he wanted respect, he should've made her earn the laptop to begin, not given it to her and then taken it away. He was wrong in this regard, imo.

 

[feathermoon]

Think about the child slaves in Africa mining materials for that laptop. Should've given it away.

Posting the video to her wall, while amusing, was immature. Kids make big deals about their public image. I'd imagine she'll be known as that 'girl with the lunatic father' to other kids at school. Not what I'd want to put my kid through.

 

[BeBattey]

Quick relevant link drop about parenting, and the delaying of gratitude:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html

No matter if he's a good or bad parent, it's a good thing he went through with what he said. Beyond that it's a deep debate on parenting.

That said I thought it was hilarious.

 

[cristo]

She should have got a mac.

Seriously, though, the father's an idiot, teaching his daughter that a gun is a toy and wasting a few hundred dollars of his own money along the way.

 

[thorium1010]

why most on this thread, not see that the father overreacted a lot more than normally should have.If he wanted to get rid of the laptop, he could have donated it to charity or given it to someone else on the road, if he thinks his daughter does not deserve it.

And this does not solve anything, she can access internet from anywhere not necessarily use a laptop (computers are everywhere remember !).

 

[ArcherofScience]

how much do you want to bet they're texan? How much? Anyone? Just lol on the accent, its texan yep.

I think the father did a splendid thing and better yet put it on the viral internet to embarrass. Here are fathers of today, ones who actually go to the best point to teach they're kids a lesson. :)

Now if they are texan, and they live in my city, it's going to be one hell of a time at my school on Monday.

Just yeehaw, and props to the dad. :)

 

[fourier jr]

Seriously, though, the father's an idiot, teaching his daughter that a gun is a toy and wasting a few hundred dollars of his own money along the way.

but he's going to extort the $130 from her for the parts, so he'll at least get that back. This whole thing reminds me of rick perry & the coyote.

 

[Char. Limit]

why most on this thread, not see that the father overreacted a lot more than normally should have.If he wanted to get rid of the laptop, he could have donated it to charity or given it to someone else on the road, if he thinks his daughter does not deserve it.

And this does not solve anything, she can access internet from anywhere not necessarily use a laptop (computers are everywhere remember !).

Are you kidding? Seems to me like the vast majority of this thread thinks the father is a terrible person, and should be shot himself. Okay, not quite THAT bad, but seems like everyone in this thread thinks the father is a terrible person.

how much do you want to bet they're texan? How much? Anyone? Just lol on the accent, its texan yep.

I think the father did a splendid thing and better yet put it on the viral internet to embarrass. Here are fathers of today, ones who actually go to the best point to teach they're kids a lesson. :)

Now if they are texan, and they live in my city, it's going to be one hell of a time at my school on Monday.

Just yeehaw, and props to the dad. :)

North Carolina, actually.

 

[I like Serena]

Are you kidding? Seems to me like the vast majority of this thread thinks the father is a terrible person, and should be shot himself. Okay, not quite THAT bad, but seems like everyone in this thread thinks the father is a terrible person.

Actually I was kind of surprised to see so many strong but differing opinions, so just for fun I made a count.
Losely counting I found 12 people in favor of the dad, 12 people against the actions of the dad, and 9 people that did not gave a clear enough opinion.

That's... fifty-fifty!

 

[Char. Limit]

Actually I was kind of surprised to see so many strong but differing opinions, so just for fun I made a count.
Losely counting I found 12 people in favor of the dad, 12 people against the actions of the dad, and 9 people that did not gave a clear enough opinion.

That's... fifty-fifty!

That might be why both Micromass (against the actions of the dad) and myself (in favor of the actions of the dad) felt outnumbered then.

 

[Pythagorean]

Father demonstrated lack of emotional inhibition because his feelings were hurt. He did so with a gun. Bad role model.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Father demonstrated lack of emotional inhibition because his feelings were hurt. He did so with a gun. Bad role model.

That's what I'm saying. Sounds like a little marble displacement in the right frontal lobe.

 

[thorium1010]

Are you kidding? Seems to me like the vast majority of this thread thinks the father is a terrible person, and should be shot himself. Okay, not quite THAT bad, but seems like everyone in this thread thinks the father is a terrible person.

Nobody is perfect, everyone deals with their problem in their own way. In this case the father showed serious lack of maturity and insight of his actions. His daughter was irresponsible, but that does not mean, one stoop to her level and get revenge (seems childish). He had warned her no doubt about the consequence of her actions, he could always taken away the laptop, but in this case he acted too immaturely.

 

[nitsuj]

Not specific to their relationship, but a general comment of the info provided

People come into the world free of things like "being a spoilled brat".

(assuming) on one hand the farther has raised the child with this trait, while on the other he tries to resolve it by shooting her goods.

If she doesn't see the distinction between, "dad bought it, so it's really his" and "dad bought, but it's really mine" that's his crime, but apparently her punishment.

With that being said, this is a cruicial time (developent, brain "setting in it's ways") in her life, and if this incident has made significant impact in this sense, he may have just layered another issue ontop of the entitlement issue/reinforced that issue.

Oh and if this is actually made a big deal in their family, then perhaps it is all fitting.

 

[jim hardy]

i grew up in a family where much communication was almost subliminal
there was so much you just couldn't say

and i was amazed at how some families used hollering and arm-waving that terrified me but was normal to them.

What's healthier?
Who am i to say?

 

[chaoseverlasting]

Can you imagine the frustration of a father who's probably tried most of the things so far suggested under the ambit of 'good parenting' but still has to live with and love and try to positively influence his kid?

I have very little experience in trying to get people to do things for themselves (think group assignments), but even I've realized how frustratingly difficult it is to get someone to listen to you about something and then act upon it even when they agree with it or already know it.

In a group of 8, maybe 5 work in good groups... Not for the lack of trying different methods, not because it doesn't hurt them; it does. For some reason, it is very difficult to lead people. The guy is human; he lost patience.

 

[Pythagorean]

Can you imagine the frustration of a father who's probably tried most of the things so far suggested under the ambit of 'good parenting' but still has to live with and love and try to positively influence his kid?

Yep, I'm a father of two. They're not teens yet, but I can definitely imagine frustration...

I have very little experience in trying to get people to do things for themselves (think group assignments), but even I've realized how frustratingly difficult it is to get someone to listen to you about something and then act upon it even when they agree with it or already know it.

And the lesson to our children is that you can't force people to do things and you can't force people to listen (except for maybe putting a gun to their head, or brandishing a gun). And you especially don't start shooting things when you're not getting your way. That's what you should strive to show by example.

In a group of 8, maybe 5 work in good groups... Not for the lack of trying different methods, not because it doesn't hurt them; it does. For some reason, it is very difficult to lead people. The guy is human; he lost patience.

Yes, and his behavior shouldn't be excused; we don't justify behavior as a mistake, we try to correct it as a society, by saying "this is the wrong thing to do". Though he should be forgiven after he admits he did the wrong thing.

 

[nitsuj]

Can you imagine the frustration of a father who's probably tried most of the things so far suggested under the ambit of 'good parenting' but still has to live with and love and try to positively influence his kid?

I can't even remotely imagine what it would be like. I can imagine myself at 15. Very very rebellious, with father "away" there was no "ultimate" threat, since I was physically bigger then my mother.

My mother would "talk" with me if I was in trouble. And to some degree I absorbed the "lesson".

It was when i was 15, I can distinctly remember getting into trouble again, heading home for the "talk". To my surprise, my mother said something along the lines of, "I've talked enough, you've heard enough, these are your choices and I am disappointed." The tone and facial expression was perfect, I felt every ounce of guilt I earned. I matured a few years that day.

Only if every ones mom was so smart.

 

[netgypsy]

Many a time I felt like throwing my computer in the lake due to various malfunctions. I'm sure you guys remember fighting with DOS and on up every time you added something, every time you upgraded something and just for no reason it all - BSOD AAARRRGGG But I can't imagine shooting my kids laptop. It would just get locked up When he was a little kid and thought the floor was where all his clothes and toys went I bagged them up and hid the bags for a month. He's a lot neater than I am now. Having had a child who had no response whatsoever to punishment like spanking I got really good at making the punishment fit the crime. Computers were always in the main living room where all content was visible and spending too long on a game or whatever, meant it got unplugged or battery removed.

Since I've lived 4 miles from western NC I can reaffirm the love of firearms in that area. That's bootleg country too. The Rudolph guy who set off the bomb in Olympic park in Atlanta and killed a lady right next to her child hid out in that area for a long time. Very clannish to say the least.

 

[Jasongreat]

Father demonstrated lack of emotional inhibition because his feelings were hurt. He did so with a gun. Bad role model.

Father pre meditated what was about to happen, he warned daughter that if she used her computer to diss him publicly she would lose said computer. She did exactly what he warned against, he did exactly what he said he would do, where is the emotional inhibition here? I thought the whole point of pre- meditated versus a crime of passion insinuates that if one thinks about it first it is no longer a crime of passion(emotional inhibition). It seems to me the whole argument against him is that he used a gun, would he still be wrong if he used a bat to destroy computer? how bout a knife? what if he donated it to charity? She still wouldn't have use of said computer, why is he wrong just because he used a gun?

 

[feathermoon]

Guns kill people (who don't respect them).

Just from watching him trip over words in the video its clear he rehearsed it in his mind, no question of premeditation there.

 

[Jasongreat]

Guns kill people (who don't respect them).

Just from watching him trip over words in the video its clear he rehearsed it in his mind, no question of premeditation there.

If you read the interview, previously in this thread, you will see that she was warned. Being warned suggests pre-meditation, pre-meditation goes against emotional inhibition.

And guns don't kill people, people kill people. But I do agree, that if he hadnt used a gun the emotional outbursts of critics would have been dissapated.

 

[Pythagorean]

You're knitpicking definitions to defend your side of the argument. It demonstrates desperation.

Pre meditated has nothing to do with inhibition; it's still loss of control if an addict takes that hit of crack, even if he's meditated on that hit for weeks.

If he would have yelled at her or just embarassed get publically on YouTube, it still would have been the same reaction from those of us who actually study effective vs ineffective parenting styles. You demonstrate control, you have discussions, you don't give up and shoot things just because it's "not working". It not going to show that it's worked until they've been around a good role model for 20 years. It takes a lot of patience.

 

[xxChrisxx]

And guns don't kill people, people kill people.

In fact I think you'll find that guns don't kill people, rappers do.
I saw it in a documentary on BBC 2

 

[Jasongreat]

You're knitpicking definitions to defend your side of the argument. It demonstrates desperation.

Pre meditated has nothing to do with inhibition; it's still loss of control if an addict takes that hit of crack, even if he's meditated on that hit for weeks.

If he would have yelled at her or just embarassed get publically on YouTube, it still would have been the same reaction from those of us who actually study effective vs ineffective parenting styles. You demonstrate control, you have discussions, you don't give up and shoot things just because it's "not working". It not going to show that it's worked until they've been around a good role model for 20 years. It takes a lot of patience.

Youre right he was smoking crack and therefore he was in the wrong? ;) which side is emotional inhibition on?

Why do we discount that she was warned, he did exactly what he said he would do? He seems like an emotional stable person. Did you read the interview, posted earlier? Like I asked, would you feel he was in the wrong for donating the computer to charity? It is still not hers anymore, how about destroying it with a bat? There is no difference, a gone computer is a gone computer, does it really matter how it was taken away? I am sorry I forgot that guns make everything wrong, I am surprised such criticism comes from alaska.

Would you say your effective parenting style precludes whatever he does? I feel each parent should be free to parent in the way they see fit, are you saying that a government should decide? Or a populous should decide on your parenting? Or it is just others' parenting that should be subject to ridicule?

 

[jim hardy]

i was fortunate.

Teenage daughter's penance was to go see Jerry McGuire movie and report back to me "What behavior makes things start to go right for him?"
I made her take boyfriend , i paid for admission but not popcorn.

She came back with correct answer "When he started making honest effort."

That started the dialog we'd been needing to have.
Long story short - turning point, happy ending.

"Show me the money " ? Hogwash. Earn the money.

 

[Pythagorean]

Youre right he was smoking crack and therefore he was in the wrong? ;) which side is emotional inhibition on?

Why do we discount that she was warned, he did exactly what he said he would do? He seems like an emotional stable person. Did you read the interview, posted earlier? Like I asked, would you feel he was in the wrong for donating the computer to charity? It is still not hers anymore, how about destroying it with a bat? There is no difference, a gone computer is a gone computer, does it really matter how it was taken away? I am sorry I forgot that guns make everything wrong, I am surprised such criticism comes from alaska.

Would you say your effective parenting style precludes whatever he does? I feel each parent should be free to parent in the way they see fit, are you saying that a government should decide? Or a populous should decide on your parenting? Or it is just others' parenting that should be subject to ridicule?

The props don't matter. Gun, computer, whatever; youre still using distraction tactics.

It's about conflict resolution. He is not handling the conflict well (or, more importantly, teaching his daughter how to handle conflict well). It's more about tone and action than the medium through which the actions are carried.

I don't mind guns at all; I own a few. I've only ever used them to kill game. Never out of anger, and certainly not to intimidate friends or family.

 

[Jasongreat]

The props don't matter. Gun, computer, whatever; youre still using distraction tactics.

It's about conflict resolution. He is not handling the conflict well (or, more importantly, teaching his daughter how to handle conflict well). It's more about tone and action than the medium through which the actions are carried.

I don't mind guns at all; I own a few. I've only ever used them to kill game. Never out of anger, and certainly not to intimidate friends or family.

I didnt think you did, I have enjoyed your reasonable posts for a while now, excepting ones to this post. :) I am wondering though, how he didnt act appropiately. He warned his daughter of the actions he was thinking of, he did exactly what he said he would do, how is this not a life lesson for his daughter? From what I have read she seemed to have an entitlement attitude, he showed her that, I provided you with the comoputer, I have warned about the use of that computer, if you choose to use said computer for what he considered wrong, he would destroy said computer. She chose to test him, her computer is now gone, how was he in the wrong? He did exactly what he said he would do.

I do disagree in the public manner it was done, but as I have said earlier,she dissed him in public, he dissed her in public, isn't that an eye for an eye? I don't see what he could have done differently, he warned her, he had to follow through, or what would that say?