Finding Solace in Favourite Quotes: Escaping Despair with Words of Wisdom

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I''ve got tons of quotes but I think I'll go with:

We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town

-Jack Handy
 
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OmCheeto said:
Originally Posted by Groucho Marx

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Thank you. This is one of my faves. But I never knew to whom it was attributed until now.
 
DaveC426913 said:
Thank you. This is one of my faves. But I never knew to whom it was attributed until now.

You're welcome. But I wouldn't put too much weight in the source. I found it on the internet.

Another of my favorites attributed to Marx, was;
I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member.

Woody Allen attributes the http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075686/quotes" to Freud.

But I take the quote quite personally, and really don't know why you people let me hang around here.
 
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DaveC426913 said:
Thank you. This is one of my faves. But I never knew to whom it was attributed until now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_flies_like_an_arrow;_fruit_flies_like_a_banana" says that the quote has been wrongly attributed to Groucho.

Wiki said:
For some reason, on the Internet the saying often is attributed to Groucho Marx, but according to The Yale Book of Quotations there is no reason to believe Groucho actually said this.
 
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"Our right hand doesn't know what our far right hand is doing."
- Ronald Reagan
 
WiFO215 said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_flies_like_an_arrow;_fruit_flies_like_a_banana" says that the quote has been wrongly attributed to Groucho.

Very much in his style though. Dollars? Taxes?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM01v_vVnbg

I am a Marxist!

But I digress...

back to the topic:

http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/04/time-flies-arrow/#more-157"

But I'm a huge fan of the wit of old:

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.

dear oh dear oh dear oh dear... Evo warned me of the rules about to be wielded regarding politicizing threads... I think I am not long of this forum... :(
 
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My favorite quote is "The Earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof"
 
I don't get it.

(Unless this is the Lame Jokes thread...) :smile:
 
Robert Zaleski said:
When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"The future ain't what it use to be"

Both attributed to Yogi Berra

Astronuc said:
"You can observe a lot just by watching." - Yogi Berra :smile:

"I really didn't say everything I said."
-- Yogi Berra
 
Zero Hedge said:
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone, drops to zero.

Actually, it was some guy from Pasco.

Palahniuk is his name, so says wiki. Which also according to wiki, was Jack Palance's actual birthname: Ukrainian: Володимир Палагнюк

I wonder if they are related.

...

I'm not in random thoughts, am I.

sorry...

:redface:
 
Eminem said:
I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.

Hmmmm... Simple as that. :smile:
 
President Nixon: So Doctor, the world is safe again.

Doctor Who: SAFE?! Of course it's not safe. There are a billion other things out there just waiting to burn your world.
 
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Ivan Seeking said:
President Nixon: So Doctor, the world is safe again.

Doctor Who: SAFE?! Of course it's not safe. There are a billion other things out there just waiting to burn your world.

Ivan, I didn't know you were a fan of "Who" - like in WhoWee.:wink:
 
WhoWee said:
Ivan, I didn't know you were a fan of "Who" - like in WhoWee.:wink:

I've been a Whovian since the 80s.

Netflix has one of the very early Whos availalble for streaming - The Aztecs; 1964. Wow! It seems, from what I've seen so far, that the audience never even saw inside of the TARDIS back then. In my view, for 50 years Who has just gotten better and better. It is quite an amazing story in the history of Sci-Fi.

The programme is listed in Guinness World Records as the longest-running science fiction television show in the world,[1] and as the "most successful" science fiction series of all time, in terms of its overall broadcast ratings, DVD and book sales, iTunes traffic, and "illegal downloads".[2] It has been recognised for its imaginative stories, creative low-budget special effects during its original run, and pioneering use of electronic music (originally produced by the BBC Radiophonic Workshop). The show is a significant part of British popular culture[3][4] in the United Kingdom, and elsewhere it has become a cult television favourite. The show has influenced generations of British television professionals, many of whom grew up watching the series. It has received recognition from critics and the public as one of the finest British television programmes, including the BAFTA Award for Best Drama Series in 2006, and five consecutive wins at the National Television Awards from 2005 to 2010, in the Drama category while under Russell T Davies' reign as executive producer.[5][6] In 2011 Matt Smith became the first actor to be nominated for a BAFTA for portraying the Doctor, but lost to Daniel Rigby.
- wiki -

First aired in 1963, so almost 50 years.
 
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Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.

Here is another one

Lady Aston : Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!

Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly."

The funniest thing is that churchill wad really drunk
 
Seinfeld I think: "Women need a reason to make love men just need a place"
 
Monty Python: Nixon went into get a new ***hole but the ***hole rejected him.
 
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Cherokee proverb said:
When the white man discovered this country, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, women did all the work. White man thought he could improve on a system like this.

Once in a while, a young person posts something, that looks pretty profound. Often times, it is something very old, that has been rediscovered. The above I discovered after I read my FB friends quote yesterday:

Cree Indian Prophecy said:
Only after the last tree has been cut down.
Only after the last river has been poisoned.
Only after the last fish has been caught.
Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.

I'm not sure why I like young people. Perhaps, it's because they remind me of me, in my youth.
 
If Bush was cancer, and Obama is the chemo, Rick Perry is what it looks like when the cancer returns. - Bill Maher
 
I'm not sure why I like young people. Perhaps, it's because they remind me of me, in my youth. - OmCheeto
 
jobyts said:
If Bush was cancer, and Obama is the chemo, Rick Perry is what it looks like when the cancer returns. - Bill Maher
OK if we're going to go after political digs...
(Subconscious honesty?)
"The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system." – Obama, Washington, D.C., July 20, 2009
 
jobyts said:
If Bush was cancer, and Obama is the chemo, Rick Perry is what it looks like when the cancer returns. - Bill Maher

If Maher was ever funny - he's morphed into something that isn't - now he's just mean, nasty, bitter, and mostly irrelevant.
 
WhoWee said:
If Maher was ever funny - he's morphed into something that isn't - now he's just mean, nasty, bitter, and mostly irrelevant.

I thought "mean, nasty, bitter and mostly irrelevant", were job requirements for popular comedians.

That particular comment was pretty benign for Maher.
 
"I refuse to believe God has given us the faculty of reason only to forgo its use."

Voltaire.
 
Ivan Seeking said:
I thought "mean, nasty, bitter and mostly irrelevant", were job requirements for popular comedians.

That particular comment was pretty benign for Maher.

Are you sure it's good for us to agree so often - what will folks think?
 
"We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it."
From the Breakfast Club :D
 
"ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE" - author unknown to me
 
"If you don't know what it is, it's best to leave it alone." - Anon, but very true for divers. There some things down there which can put a world of hurt on you.