Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

Dangers of Technology​

At a Sacramento PC User's Group meeting (many years ago), a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down.

Just then someone in the back of the room yelled, "Format C: Return."

Someone else chimed in: "Yes, Return."

Unfortunately, the software worked.

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 340551

"THE" Joe?

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

I don't have Instagram.

My food isn't long enough on the table to take a picture.​

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 340768

I like it very much when jokes have more than one level! But it is hard to achieve. Some jokes are simply flat.

 

[fresh_42]

The title says: If you're a bus driver and hate people.

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 340763

I would also like to see a comparison of vocal range and ease with which the register is used …

 

[BillTre]

This guy(Tim Foust) has good range and does it easily:

 

[WWGD]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 340780

I thought it was this one:

 

[fresh_42]

Will we make it?

 

[fresh_42]

"My wife always said she was the better driver. I had our dog decide it."

 

[DennisN]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 340819

I did once come across a website that required you to declare you were over 16 by entering your date of birth. You couldn't type your date of birth, you had to enter it with a calendar control that only let you click forwards or backwards one month at a time and defaulted to today's date. That's a minimum of 192 clicks to reach the first "allowed to use this service" date of birth.

I decided to go elsewhere.

 

[fresh_42]

A boss seeks more respect and hangs a sign at his door "I am the boss!"
After lunchtime, someone added a note: "Your wife called in. She wants her sign back!"

 

[Ibix]

Did you hear Sting has retired? He'll now be known as Stung.

 

[DrGreg]

Did you here Sting has retired? He'll now be known as Stung.

I can't bee leave it!

 

[fresh_42]

I can't bee leave it!

Police have confirmed.