Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

"A doctor gave his patient six months to live... but he couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

-- Henny Youngman

("And when you do go... take my wife... please.")

 

[jtbell]

"If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet."

-- Redd Foxx

 

[dextercioby]

 

[sbrothy]

When my Italian grandpa would ask: " Are we eating pasta today." Me: " No, Nonno.".

Had to look that up to get the point!

 

[BillTre]

 

[DaveC426913]

"Nor can it judge you. That's for your Facebook friends to do. "

 

[jrmichler]

Saw this on a business trip to Kentucky some years ago.

 

[Ibix]

Add graffiti: Magritte woz 'ere

 

[jtbell]

To me, the sign above the door says “exits are to the left and right.”

 

[gmax137]

To me, the sign above the door says “exits are to the left and right.”

Oh, I thought that was bra-ket notation
<EX | T>

 

[Ibix]

To me, the sign above the door says “exits are to the left and right.”

Could be. Wouldn't be the worst sign layout I've seen, but if that's the intention the arrows are very small for an emergency sign.

 

[fresh_42]

Saw this on a business trip to Kentucky some years ago. View attachment 362699

Only Schrödinger may exit through this door.

 

[DaveC426913]

Oh, I thought that was bra-ket notation
<EX | T>

See uncropped pic. Its actually HTML.

 

[fresh_42]

Sara, what's the weather going to be like tomorrow?
Who's Sara?
Oh, sorry, I meant Siri, of course. So, Siri, what's the weather going to be like tomorrow?
Maybe that b**** Sara knows what your sh**** weather will be like tomorrow.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 362705

Also: GREAT show! A must watch!

 

[WWGD]

Also: GREAT show! A must watch!

Who's "A" ?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Only Schrödinger may exit through this door.

And simultaneously not exit.

 

[WWGD]

See uncropped pic. Its actually HTML.

View attachment 362703

 

[jtbell]

When my Italian grandpa would ask: " Are we eating pasta today." Me: " No, Nonno.".

If the avant-garde classical composer Luigi Nono had written a very short piece for nine instruments, inspired by a popular Broadway musical, we would have the Nono "No, No, Nanette" nanononet.

 

[dextercioby]

View attachment 362707

 

[DennisN]

Dumbrella anyone?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

Dumbrella anyone?

View attachment 362714

You'll need it daily . Though I admit I did my dumb bit when I took with me a pack of rolled up trash bags , confusing it with the umbrella.

 

[fresh_42]

You'll need it daily . Though I admit I did my dumb bit when I took with me a pack of rolled up trash bags , confusing it with the umbrella.

Just read today in a meme:

"Do you think people are basically good, or basically bad?"
"Dumb. I believe they are basically dumb."

 

[davenn]

 

[Steve4Physics]

Venn Diagram for YO HO HO HO

 

[davenn]