Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

That's for the chihuahua, right?

No, it's a meme that a man uses when he wants to sleep on the couch, like these ones:

 

[jack action]

"Open your bra. Now!"
"Yes, darling."
"Skirt down!"
"Yes, darling."
"Slip, too."
"Yes, darling."
"And never wear my clothes again, Jack!"

Let me fix that for you:

"Take off my bra. Now!"
"Yes, darling."
"Take off my skirt!"
"Yes, darling."
"Take off my slip, too."
"Yes, darling."
"And never wear my clothes again, Jack!"

[Although I protest against using the name Jack.]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

A video on the wild boars crisis mentioned "They could multiply incredibly fast". If I see one roaming around I will ask them: " Quick, 993 times 1033".

 

[fresh_42]

A video on the wild boars crisis mentioned "They could multiply incredibly fast". If I see one roaming around I will ask them: " Quick, 993 times 1033".

165289

 

[dextercioby]

View attachment 363176

Anyone know the name of this guy? Famous or nobody?

 

[phinds]

Anyone know the name of this guy? Famous or nobody?

Dave Chapelle. Standup comedian.

 

[Beyond3D]

The first dirty joke that my parents told me: A white horse fell in the mud.

Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work.

wdym "a white horse"?

 

[WWGD]

wdym "a white horse"?

A non ( non white) horse.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Beyond3D]

A non ( non white) horse.

Is it racial? Is it an innuendo?

 

[Beyond3D]

This one is extra corny

 

[phinds]

Is it racial? Is it an innuendo?

It's a joke for a 5 year old. Here's a dirty joke. A white horse fell in the mud and got dirty. GET IT? The horse got dirty. That makes it a dirty joke (if you're a 5 year old).

 

[Beyond3D]

It's a joke for a 5 year old. Here's a dirty joke. A white horse fell in the mud and got dirty. GET IT? The horse got dirty. That makes it a dirty joke (if you're a 5 year old).

OH! Ok sorry about that.

 

[WWGD]

Is it racial? Is it an innuendo?

Not sure, tbh.

 

[WWGD]

OH! Ok sorry about that.

Don't you hear similar jokes in 4D+?

 

[Beyond3D]

Don't you hear similar jokes in 4D+?

Yeah, but they kinda feel 1 Dimensional to me, really lacks depth.

 

[DaveC426913]

It's a joke for a 5 year old. Here's a dirty joke. A white horse fell in the mud and got dirty. GET IT? The horse got dirty. That makes it a dirty joke (if you're a 5 year old).

Yup. First dirty joke I heard too.

 

[dextercioby]

Guess Ron has a point.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 363226

They're clearly exchanging ;).

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

Blind date in the countryside: either it is a relative, or he is taken, or an ex, or all three of them.

 

[napostolopoulos]

Fun questions!
--------------------------------------
When is a joke funny?
What is there within everything?
What can you do to live a good life within everything?
Finally how can you have fun in life?
--------------------------------------

When is a joke funny?
--------------------------------------
A joke is funny if and only if:
1. When I think of it, it isn't normal
2. When I feel it it, feels good
3. I cannot experience it continually for it to remain funny
Forward proof:
Assume a joke is funny then:
1. If when I thought of it it was normal, it wouldn't surprise me. Yet a successful joke always surprises.
2. If when I felt it, it didn't feel good, it wouldn't be a joke to me.
3. No matter how funny a joke is, I cannot experience it again and again with it still being funny.
Backward proof:
Assume 1,2,3 hold true then:
1. It isn't normal. It is a surprise, new experience.
2. It feels good. Together with 1 being true, it is a positive new experience.
3. I cannot experience it continually for it to remain funny. It is a positive new experience but I can't experience it always, I can experience it from time to time...but I don't know when...isn't it a bit funny?
--------------------------------------

What is there within everything?
--------------------------------------
There is nothing, something, and something else.
Why? Because if there is something else we have already included it! And what if there isn’t something else? Then you are asking the following question:
Wait a second, why did you add something else in there from the beginning?
Because it is different from nothing or something, it is something else and it needs to be included in order to describe everything.
Also something is different from nothing.
--------------------------------------

What can you do to live a good life within everything?
--------------------------------------
You can do nothing, you can do something, and you want to live something else.
Can you do nothing all the time?
No, because then you would never do something, and we said that you can do something, so at a certain time you will do something!
Can you do something all the time?
No, because then you would never do nothing, and we said that you can do nothing, so at a certain time you will do nothing!
So sometimes you do nothing and sometimes you do something, and your emotions guide you to live something else...
Can you use only your emotions to guide you to live something else all the time? No then you would be doing nothing all the time, using only your emotions to be guided is doing nothing all the time.
Can you know how to choose between doing nothing or something all the time? No then you would be doing something all the time, having perfect judgement is doing something all the time.
And so, the difficulty to choose to live a good life within something else seems to remain stable in a fun way!
--------------------------------------

Finally how can you have fun in life?
--------------------------------------
You need patience to find out how to have fun in life.
Why? You need patience to find out why. Why again?!
Because you find this out in a funny way!
Sometimes it is more fun than what you can handle at that point in your life...
Wait a minute, something it is less fun than what I want at that point in my life...
Yes, but when you are having a good time, then it is just the right amount of fun!
And, to find those times, I am afraid it comes back to the beginning...
You need patience to find out how to have fun in life.
--------------------------------------

 

[Hornbein]

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Goedel, and Eddie Murphy walk into a bar. Werner says, "we are three, we are in a bar, its anachronistic, we must be in a joke! But how can we PROVE zis?"

Kurt replies, "but a joke is funny. This is not funny. It cannot be a joke!"

Eddie Murphy says, "of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong."

 

[dextercioby]

The lamest part is not the joke itself, but bringing forth a "blonde joke" in 2025.

 

[berkeman]

I saw this car in the parking lot at the local high school. LOL