Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
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My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit.
 
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  • #23,204
I got my first computer because I was writing my thesis and am a poor speller.
 
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BillTre said:
I got my first computer because I was writing my thesis and am a poor speller.
I wrote my PhD dissertation in the early 1980s using the TECO text editor and RUNOFF page formatter on my department's VAX 11/780, on which I had done all the Fortran programming for my data analysis. No spell-checker.

Unfortunately, the dissertation office didn't accept the output from our line printer, so I turned it over to one of the department secretaries, who typed dissertations as a side gig. She told me it was the fastest dissertation she had ever done, because she had a clean printout to work from, not my handwriting, and we didn't need to make any major changes, just correct a few typos, and some changes recommended by my dissertation committee.
 
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jtbell said:
Translations of the inscriptions on the pictures?
Very likely. You may just have solved a centuries-old mystery!
 
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  • #23,216
I thought they were offering free Dutch cheese when the Jamaican guy shouted: " Free Edam", " Free Edam". ( Freedom).
 
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WWGD said:

I've switched back and forth between hard-'g' and soft-'g'. The original team who developed the gif standard preferred the soft-'g', So now I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. Although to my ears, both are fine choices. Whatever floats your boat. I'll personally tailor my pronunciation depending on the present audience.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pronunciation_of_GIF

In a similar vein, I've also switched up the pronunciation of the prefix "giga-." For example, "Gigawatt," I'll sometimes pronounce it "Jigawatt," with a soft-'g'.
 
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collinsmark said:
For example, "Gigawatt," I'll sometimes pronounce it "Jigawatt," with a soft-'g'.
IMO, the only acceptable time to say "jigawatts" is when there's one point twenty one of them.
 
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collinsmark said:
I've switched back and forth between hard-'g' and soft-'g'. The original team who developed the gif standard preferred the soft-'g', So now I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. Although to my ears, both are fine choices. Whatever floats your boat. I'll personally tailor my pronunciation depending on the present audience.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pronunciation_of_GIF

In a similar vein, I've also switched up the pronunciation of the prefix "giga-." For example, "Gigawatt," I'll sometimes pronounce it "Jigawatt," with a soft-'g'.
Wow, surprised there's a Wikipedia entry joost fir that!
 
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I once asked British people how they pronounce router. The result was ambiguous. I'm glad we don't have such problems with g. I would say, that it had to be the same as in gift. On the other hand, there is round and wound. I like Shaw's example of how to pronounce ghot (fish).
 
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fresh_42 said:
I once asked British people how they pronounce router. The result was ambiguous. I'm glad we don't have such problems with g. I would say, that it had to be the same as in gift. On the other hand, there is round and wound. I like Shaw's example of how to pronounce ghot (fish).
Some pronounce route as 'root', which is confusing to me.
 
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WWGD said:
Some pronounce route as 'root', which is confusing to me.
If you grew up with English and French as second and third languages, you probably would be confused if it weren't a question. 'rooter' comes in far more naturally to me than "rowter". And it isn't Rowte 66, isn't it?
 
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fresh_42 said:
I once asked British people how they pronounce router.
Rooter. Route is pronounced root. The Americans pronounce route like we pronounce rout.
 
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Ibix said:
Rooter. Route is pronounced root. The Americans pronounce route like we pronounce rout.
Yes, that was the majority opinion, but some were not sure about it. And I asked IT people!
 
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fresh_42 said:
Yes, that was the majority opinion, but some were not sure about it. And I asked IT people!
I knew of someone who referred to IT as in the pronoun "It". That was pretty confusion. But we wouldn't use " 9 is the square route of 81".
 
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WWGD said:
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running off with your meme.webp
 
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Ibix said:
Rooter. Route is pronounced root. The Americans pronounce route like we pronounce rout.
Got into an argument with a Radio Shack guy about this.

I called it a "rooter". He felt the need to correct me.
 

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