Ian J Miller said:
Suppose for practical purposes we have a common reference frame.
What objects are at rest in that frame? It seems like you intend Earth and the other star and the pulsar to all be at rest in that frame, but you should explicitly specify that (or whatever you intend).
Also, if you are trying to say that everybody will use this common reference frame even if they are not at rest in it, then you can no longer appeal to the symmetry of the situation as you do when you say:
Ian J Miller said:
A should think B's clock has dilated, and vice versa for B
If A is using the "common reference frame" instead of his own rest frame, A will
not think B's clock has dilated, because A knows that B is at rest in the common reference frame while A himself is not.
Ian J Miller said:
The common reference frame is set by a pulsar, the frequency of which is gradually decaying and hence acts as a third clock.
How does this set a "common reference frame"? You can't just wave your hands and say so. You have to explain
how.
Ian J Miller said:
the parties can agree at what time A should pass the star, in terms of the pulsar's clock
It depends on what you mean by this. If you mean, what frequency A sees the pulsar to be pulsing, in light signals it is receiving from the pulsar at the instant A passes the star, yes, everyone will agree on that. But that might not be the same thing as what you mean by "what time A passes the star, in terms of the pulsar's clock".
Ian J Miller said:
It won't be exact, but one should get near enough to get the relativistic effect to be significantly larger than any other defect.
I have no idea what you mean by this.
Ian J Miller said:
You mean "B" as in the B who, in the OP, is on Earth the whole time?
Ian J Miller said:
they exchange current time
Meaning, they each tell each other what their own clock reads?
Ian J Miller said:
and set times on each clock
I don't see why this needs to be included, since resetting the clocks at this point has no effect on anything else you're describing.
Ian J Miller said:
they cannot agree on which clock has the greatest elapsed time difference
Time difference from what to what? A and B weren't co-located before, so they have no previous direct comparison of their clocks. We have two different events for A--passing the star and passing Earth/B--but we only have one event for B, so we have no elapsed time for B to compare to at this point. You need to specify how B is determining his elapsed time.
To fill in all the blanks above the way I think you intend to fill them--though, as noted, you should not leave this to guesswork but should explicitly specify all these things:
I assume that the "common reference frame", as noted above, is a frame in which the Earth, the other star, and the pulsar, are all at rest.
I assume that the starting point for B's elapsed time is the event on Earth that happens at the same time, according to the common reference frame, as A passing the star.
Given those assumptions, B's elapsed time when A and B pass each other will be greater than A's, and both observers will agree on that.
B will explain his greater elapsed time in terms of time dilation: A's clock runs slower than his because A is moving in the common reference frame, while B is at rest.
A will explain B's greater elapsed time in terms of time dilation plus B's clock being set wrong: A will say that B set his clock to start his elapsed time, not at the same time A passed the star, but long
before that--so long that even the fact that B's clock runs slow compared to A's, in A's rest frame, was not enough to compensate for B setting his elapsed time to start way in advance of A passing the star.
In other words, as is almost always the case when people get SR problems wrong, you are leaving out relativity of simultaneity: what happens "at the same time" as A passing the star is
different in the two frames (B's rest frame, which is what you are calling the "common reference frame", and A's rest frame).