Collection of Lame Jokes

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24,255 replies · 3M views
Isaacsname said:
Aaawww man, that was beautiful...that's a sure sign that I know I'm getting old.

...I like opera...:eek:

You would like the opera this song is from. It's from "Die Fledermaus" and, fittingly for this thread, it's about a lame joke that takes some twists the orignator never would have imagined.

The song occurs at a critical moment. Similar to the prisoners and three hats brainteaser, or perhaps more fittingly, the missionary and the adulterous natives brainteaser, people start to realize the situation they're in and become very eager to laugh along with Adele at the accusation that prompted the song.
 
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BobG said:
You would like the opera this song is from. It's from "Die Fledermaus" and, fittingly for this thread, it's about a lame joke that takes some twists the orignator never would have imagined.

The song occurs at a critical moment. Similar to the prisoners and three hats brainteaser, or perhaps more fittingly, the missionary and the adulterous natives brainteaser, people start to realize the situation they're in and become very eager to laugh along with Adele at the accusation that prompted the song.

Very nice, I had to go check out some more, I like this one...and there's a ..bald woman...@ 2:49 :eek:

Die Fledermaus - "Klange der Heimat"



Have you ever listened to the Portsmouth Sinfonia ? It's classical compositions played by classical musicians...on instruments they've never played...conducted by Brian Eno..perfect for this thread.

Also sprach Zarathustra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpJ6anurfuw&feature=related
 
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Isaacsname said:
"Mmmmmmphhhhhmmmmm.?!..mppphhhmmmm.!..mmmbbpphhmmmmmmbbbpppphmmmmmmm...mmmmppphhhhmmm...! "


~ Some guy with tape over his mouth
Actually, I think that's DevilsAvocado with tape over his mouth.
 
Ivan Seeking said:
In the end it is a 3x3 matrix multiplication.

OK, matrices I can do!
 
Isaacsname said:
I put a small speaker next to my birdfeeder, just out of curiosity about some things, ...the looks the birds have when I play them Mrs. Jenkins is pretty funny.

STOP ANIMAL ABUSE! :mad:

dog-clothing.jpg
 
DevilsAvocado said:
STOP ANIMAL ABUSE! :mad:

dog-clothing.jpg

I support that dog's right to maul its owners. :biggrin:
 
FtlIsAwesome said:
Actually, I think that's DevilsAvocado with tape over his mouth.

[PLAIN]https://www.physicsforums.com/Prime/buttons/report.gif
 
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DevilsAvocado said:
[PLAIN]https://www.physicsforums.com/Prime/buttons/report.gif[/QUOTE]

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DevilsAvocado said:
...this is getting überlame...

You started it, in every way possible! You brought these wicked emoticons to paradise! :biggrin:

Dragon Age said:
"And so is the Golden City blackened
With each step you take in my Hall.
Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting.
You have brought Sin to Heaven
And doom upon all the world."
-- Canticle of Threnodies 8:13
 
nismaratwork said:
You started it, in every way possible! You brought these wicked emoticons to paradise! :biggrin:

Dragon Age said:
"And so is the Golden City blackened
With each step you take in my Hall.
Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting.
You have brought Sin to Heaven
AND DOOM UPON ALL THE WORLD."
-- Canticle of Threnodies 8:13

nenenenervous breakdown
 
DevilsAvocado said:
FtlIsAwesome said:
Actually, I think that's DevilsAvocado with tape over his mouth.

[PLAIN]https://www.physicsforums.com/Prime/buttons/report.gif[/QUOTE]
I elicit interesting responses from people, don't I?
 
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FtlIsAwesome said:
I elicit interesting responses from people, don't I?

wow "interesting"... thanks man... :shy: ...I thought it was just [STRIKE]simple[/STRIKE] lame overkill... :rolleyes:
 
Isaacsname said:
Bad poetry and mangled opera go hand in hand with lame jokes.

yup + unforgettable covers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU9nqD2YKX0
 
Isaacsname said:
Bad poetry and mangled opera go hand in hand with lame jokes.

yup.
Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge said:
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.
 
DevilsAvocado said:
yup + unforgettable covers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU9nqD2YKX0

...oh...noe...anything but that...I beg you...
 
Isaacsname said:
...oh...noe...anything but that...I beg you...

yes yes yes
 
Isaacsname said:
...oh...noe...anything but that...I beg you...

Heeey... I feel your pain man!


Have some of this instead:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hARDXYz2io

[PLAIN]http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/evil/evilgrin0025.gif[ATTACH=full]197058[/ATTACH][ATTACH=full]197059[/ATTACH]
 

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What do you call a man's lower leg? A mansion. - courtesy my brother circa 10 years old

I'm still trying to figure out what you call a boar's lower leg...
 
gatztopher said:
What do you call a man's lower leg? A mansion. - courtesy my brother circa 10 years old

I'm still trying to figure out what you call a boar's lower leg...

I believe the word you're looking for is " Tasty "
 
A midget goes into his general practitioner for a physical and yearly checkup.

The doctor seems angry about something, slightly frustrated, hurrying through the exam without the usual good cheer and banter, huffing and puffing his way through things.

They get to the hernia exam, the midget has to stop the good doctor as he seems to be getting a little rough.

" Doc, ..are you ok, you seem to be a little upset about something ? "

" It's ok, this will be over soon, I'm just feeling a little teste.. "
 
Isaacsname said:
I believe the word you're looking for is " Tasty "

"Ham-hock"
 
nismaratwork said:
"Ham-hock"

My friend,...there's no need for insults.
 
Isaacsname said:
My friend,...there's no need for insults.

I think you're kidding, but I don't get it. :frown:
 
nismaratwork said:
I think you're kidding, but I don't get it. :frown:

I am. I was making reference to a Groucho Marx movie, at least I think it was Groucho..

I'm such a ham sometimes.
 
DevilsAvocado said:
wow "interesting"... thanks man... :shy: ...I thought it was just [STRIKE]simple[/STRIKE] lame overkill... :rolleyes:

Overkill? I'll show you overkill.
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