Collection of Lame Jokes

[Baluncore]

How about ' Wattarr' ( Water)? Is that from somewhere in Scotland?

I don't know how you pronounce 'wattarr'.
Maybe Irish. I would also look further south, maybe Birmingham Brummie?

 

[WWGD]

I don't know how you pronounce 'wattarr'.
Maybe Irish. I would also look further south, maybe Birmingham Brummie?

Good point. Along the lines of 'What are', heavy emphasis on the second 'a', I think describes it.

 

[Ibix]

Some Essex accents sound like that, especially combining it with a glottal stop on the T (so more like war-ar).

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

Some Essex accents sound like that, especially combining it with a glottal stop on the T (so more like war-ar).

I used to watch this show on Geology by prof. Ian Stewart, just because of the accent.

 

[Ibix]

I used to watch this show on Geology by prof. Ian Stewart, just because of the accent.

Ian Stewart is a maths professor. Iain Stewart is the geologist, who is Scottish. He would definitely not have an Essex accent...

 

[fresh_42]

Ian Stewart is a maths professor. Iain Stewart is the geologist, who is Scottish. He would definitely not have an Essex accent...

Scottish is funny. It has only two states: either I don't understand a word (e.g. John Higgins) or I understand everything because they basically use German words.

 

[WWGD]

Ian Stewart is a maths professor. Iain Stewart is the geologist, who is Scottish. He would definitely not have an Essex accent...

Which is pronounced as Eeeen?

 

[Ibix]

Scottish is funny. It has only two states: either I don't understand a word (e.g. John Higgins) or I understand everything because they basically use German words.

Some accents can be quite challenging. My grandad had a story of touring Scotland with some Scottish friends. They got a bit lost and stopped to ask directions. The friend got out, spoke to a passerby came back a moment later and said to my (very English) grandad "Och you go and talk to him. I cannae understand a word he says."

Which is pronounced as Eeeen?

I know two Iains, both of whom pronounce it exactly the same as Ian.

 

[WWGD]

Some accents can be quite challenging. My grandad had a story of touring Scotland with some Scottish friends. They got a bit lost and stopped to ask directions. The friend got out, spoke to a passerby came back a moment later and said to my (very English) grandad "Och you go and talk to him. I cannae understand a word he says."

I know two Iains, both of whom pronounce it exactly the same as Ian.

Last I checked Eeeen was Out ;)

 

[Ibix]

Last I checked Eeeen was Out ;)

There once were two baby skunks called In and Out. It was dinner time and mama skunk looked out of the house and saw Out playing but couldn't see In.

"Out!" she called. "Time for dinner! Where's your brother?"

Without even looking up from his game, Out pointed at some bushes.

"How do you know he's there?" asked mama skunk.

Out rolled his eyes.

"Easy - In stinked."

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

"Did you put ketchup on the shopping list like I asked you?"

"Yeah, but now I can't read it."

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

View attachment 324940

 

[jack action]

I went to this restaurant last night. The place was packed, so the manager asked: "Do you mind waiting for a bit?" I said "Not at all."

He said, "Great, take these drinks to table 9."

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]