Collection of Lame Jokes

[Bystander]

is busy, hung or dead.

..., also, "crippled, crashed, or...."

 

[gmax137]

View attachment 329407

"Charcuterie" is French for "I want a sandwich but I have no bread"

 

[topsquark]

How do you spell onomatopoeia?

Exactly how it sounds.

(That might be on here somewhere, already.)

-Dan

 

[jtbell]

"Hello, this is Gino's Pizzeria. Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like one 16-inch super supreme, please."

"OK, one 16-inch super supreme. Would you like that delivered?"

"Yes, please. I hate liver."

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

How do you spell onomatopoeia?

Exactly how it sounds.

(That might be on here somewhere, already.)

-Dan

Part of some fixed point theorem ;).

 

[WWGD]

Saw this ad, wondered what the issue was with the lady in pink, second from the right. I guess simething like

" I'm the director's wife/daughter , and I can't be bothered"

 

[WWGD]

Scientists have recently turned back time. Turns out you get "emit".

(Respect to Colin Mochrie)

Why? You're making a Mochrie of Colin/Niloc ;).

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

How do you spell onomatopoeia?

onomatopoeia

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

I'm gonna onomatopeia on my pants.

 

[DrGreg]

I'm gonna onomatopeia on my pants.

No! On a mat, please.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

Woodworkers joke:

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 329467

I saw that some company, I think in Japan, has designed a toilet for the workplace that is tilted forward so you naturally want to slide off going forward. If you sit for more than about five minutes you start feeling leg strain. The idea is to make it too uncomfortable to sit longer than needed.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I saw there is a special on CNN about the history of black TV.

I emailed to let them know it was called black and white TV.

 

[berkeman]

From FB today, LOL.

 

[jack action]

Was hesitating between posting this here or in "Today I learned":

 

[jack action]

Say no to drugs.

Well, if you are talking to drugs, it's probably already too late.

 

[phinds]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Was hesitating between posting this here or in "Today I learned":

View attachment 329481​

Many years ago I made a setup like that to test my idea for a sprinkler head that could cut your grass. I was using air to pressurize a pipe filled with water, to supply the head for testing.

The people at the hardware store thought I was making bombs.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]