Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

The electrician's gospel says: Do not trifle with the lightning that lurketh in the capacitor, or your mates may buy your widow drinks and comfort her in ways of which you might not approve.

We have a song here from 1984 which we call the electricians' song:
"Tausendmal berührt, tausendmal ist nix passiert, und dann hat's Boom gemacht!"
(Touched a thousand times, nothing happened a thousand times, and then it went boom!)

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

Was wondering why there was music coming from my printer - turns out the paper was jamming.

 

[davenn]

Being married is like being in AA
My friends asked me, how's your marriage going?
One day at a time man..
I didnt say anything wrong today, but I don't know what tomorrow's going to bring
My name is Dave and I'm a married man
It's been 6 months since my last decision
I felt the urge to have an opinion the other day but.....

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

And I still see people doing this !!

 

[davenn]

 

[pinball1970]

(off topic)

@TonyStewart : You seem to be new here, so welcome!
And I must say that your avatar is the coolest I've ever seen on PhysicsForums!

Agree!

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 325487

If I translate it on the picture, I would need to use more unnecessary bytes on the server, and it will not work since "I hear" would have to become "I listen to" which is the same "ich höre" in German, and I think it is already understandable on its own, as long as one associates the movie and the music presented in the picture.

Who is the first guy? Top left?

 

[pinball1970]

A rim shot is actually playing the rim and snare head at the same time.
The clip you played is what drummers call, "b' dum dshhhhhh."

Not to be confused with, "B'dat dum dshhhhhh." The preferred phrase in that situation.

 

[dextercioby]

Taken this myself on the train to Frankfurt Flughafen. Can't say what researcher you must be, to make tests with fighting animals...

 

[pinball1970]

Taken this myself on the train to Frankfurt Flughafen. Can't say what researcher you must be, to make tests with fighting animals...
View attachment 326528

Those scientists will just do anything for the sake of it, the fiends.

 

[TonyStewart]

(off topic)

@TonyStewart : You seem to be new here, so welcome!
And I must say that your avatar is the coolest I've ever seen on PhysicsForums!

This is what I imagine String Theory looks like, if it were real.

 

[fresh_42]

Who is the first guy? Top left?

Looks like Bono to me.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 326525

Cabbage and salad were actually more of a problem.

 

[pinball1970]

Looks like Bono to me.

He's not dead though. I thinks a hard rock guy, the guy who got shot on stage? I'll check.

 

[pinball1970]

Looks like Bono to me.

Chester Bennington

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 326524And I still see people doing this !!

In my country, wearing a mask even when driving alone, with all windows up and AC running, was made mandatory by some High Court. The ruling was that every place outside your home is a public place for you, and as per Govt. regulations, wearing masks was mandatory in all public places.

 

[dextercioby]

Somewhere in a parallel universe...

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 326403

Why are there two pairs of spike heeled shoes on the floor in the first cartoon?

Edit: Never mind, I just got it

 

[KingGambit]

View attachment 326523

I've read somewhere before, quote like this.

"I'm not at the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian"

 

[BillTre]

Follow me for more parenting tips.

 

[Grelbr42]

Re: wearing a mask while driving alone. I did that for a very specific and exact purpose. It was to live rent-free in people's heads.

Also, as long as I had to wear the mask to get into stores, it was easier to carry it on my face when driving from one store to another. Instead of pulling the stupid thing off, fighting with my hat and scarf, and losing it under the seat of the car, maybe forgetting it and having to go back to the car before going into the store, I just left it on.

And the looks from people who saw me driving with it were priceless.

 

[WWGD]

Weird exchange:
I have something in my ear
Well, it can't be Golda, she's been dead for a while.

 

[fresh_42]

Weird exchange:
I have something in my ear
Well, it can't be Golda, she's been dead for a while.

Ouch!

Just saw two documentaries about David (an interview, long lost in the Spielberg archives) and then about Golda last night. Strange, this coincidence, isn't it? I didn't know she was born in Ukraine.

 

[WWGD]

Ouch!

Just saw two documentaries about David (an interview, long lost in the Spielberg archives) and then about Golda last night. Strange, this coincidence, isn't it? I didn't know she was born in Ukraine.

That's music to Meir.

 

[dextercioby]