Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Join the discussion
Registration is free. Ask a follow-up in this thread, or start your own.
24,348 replies · 3M views
davenn said:
The whale's line, of course, is
"What's that thing rushing toward me? It sure is big and round! I'm going to call it ground. I wonder if it'll be my friend." *splat*
 
Physics news on Phys.org
DaveC426913 said:
The whale's line, of course, is
"What's that thing rushing toward me? It sure is big and round! I'm going to call it ground. I wonder if it'll be my friend." *splat*
I watched the movie yesterday and was entertained. It's not the book, but then again how could it ever be? I think I've read that Adams was satisfied with the result before being taken by The Great Green Arkleseizure, and it is arguably one of the works where it's hardest establishing any kind of canon.
 
I thought I'd memorized the entire set of donuts available. Dunkin Kruger in action.
 
1755546119254.webp
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Agree
Likes   Reactions: DennisN, Borg, edwardII and 4 others
sbrothy said:
I watched the movie yesterday and was entertained. It's not the book, but then again how could it ever be?

True ..... I didnt really like the movie ...... for better and something so much closer to the book(s),
as there are a bunch of them.
Watch the 3 part TV series that came out shortly after the book and the radio airing.

The TV series is really good 😍

Some wonderful and funny SciFi. I has read serious SciFi for many years up till that time,
and HHGTTG was such a wonderful change of pace

Dave
 
I have all the versions except the radio series (as well as the full Muppet Show collection). Now I know Swedish isn't the most popular language on here, but Charlie Christensen's "Arne Anka" was made into a theater piece, but searching for an English version seems to be fruitloops, eerrr fruitless....

EDIT: But yeah, the book reads like one long stand up comedy performance.
 
sbrothy said:
Now I know Swedish isn't the most popular language on here, but Charlie Christensen's "Arne Anka" was made into a theater piece,...
I was entertained by "Kalle Anka" comic books in Sweden during the early 60s. "Arne Anka" came too late for me.
 
Since we have a HHGTTG theme running ....

I'm worried... I should grab a towel and put my robe on....

1755565540296.webp
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: pinball1970, sbrothy, Borg and 4 others
""Come on, Mr Dent, You cant lie in front of the dozer forever""
"I'm game, lets see who rusts first!"
 
New French literary style requires you write/put " Descartes " before "Dehors".
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: pinball1970 and davenn
Alien tea ceremony. I wonder what they're discussing.

ALIEN_TEA_CEREMONY.webp
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: pinball1970, DennisN and edwardII
Don't underestimate the placebo effect:

PLACEBO.webp


---- A Multiverse

EDIT: I like the devious expression of the serf in the last picture. :P
 
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: edwardII and jack action
jtbell said:
Today I learned that in Germany one can be criminally charged for water butt theft. This ‘murrican also learned what a water butt is!

https://www.theguardian.com/society...nd-i-fear-theyre-on-the-right-side-of-history
Butt is a handy word to have around. Multifaceted, it can be a noun, verb, adjective, anything it wants to be. It tells its best features in butt naked, the butt of the joke, cigarette butt, butt out that cigarette, butthead, butt this board to that board, goats butt their heads in a fight, not to be confused with the word 'but', which has only one 't' versus the two 't's in butt according the Chat-GPT.
Which, by the way, leads to the quandary as to why the extra 't'. If a limited resource, do we have perhaps only 200 years left before to running out and scarcity ensues. Extinction events may follow. Some species such as owl, lion and snake would be OK. Others not, and may become legends, such as the flightless bird, the dodo. For others, a substitution from 't' to a similar but different infinite supply of 'd' may save the durtle, the diger, and the durkey. Adaptation and survival into this new niche will be difficult. Non-action will lead to the urtle, the iger and the urkey, mere empty shells of their former selves unable to continue previous existence.

Which also leads to questioning of 'buttress'. Surely there are better options, saving two 't's at a time. Considering the flying buttress made famous in a movie with Sally Field, though not to confuse Sally with a buttress, but she was flying around churches, some older types of which do have this feature of wall support being wider at the bottom. In that vein, and in the vein of an evolving language, and in the vein of present day opportunity of elimination of the triggering who knows what terms of the past, the wide acceptance of the more progressive 'Kardash' is expected to gain traction.

The last point I wish to make is of a more technical nature for the DIY crowd who fuss around with stuff just because they can. A simple attachment of an air hose to the bottom of the butt ( as in the previous OP, the butt to collect rainwater ) so as to percolate air through the water is easily accomplished. This project is especially geared for the starting out young female DIY'ers, who may feel inadequate in some department. This fix up will if done correctly, will enhance self esteem and encourage you to go on to larger and more complex projects. When working and seeing it in action, others will be amazed and envious, and will give praise by addressing you with the nickname of the project as "The Bubble Butt" girl.
 
jtbell said:
Bjarne Stroustrup, the Dane who invented the C++ programming language, has or had a FAQ on his home page, something like this:

Q: How do you pronounce your name?

A: It can be difficult for non-Danish people. The best suggestion I have seen is to say it first a few times in Norwegian, then stuff a potato down your throat and say it again.
He's a great Dane.
 
As a kid, I thought my dad was a superhero. Then I realized he's just a weird guy walking around wearing a cape.
 
While driving during my current road trip, I have thought of some truly lame jokes. Unfortunately the rim of my steering wheel is too narrow to contain them, even if I had dared to take my hand off the wheel in order to do the writing. And now I've forgotten them!
 
No wait, I just remembered one!

Last night I stayed in a hotel with elevators made by the Schindler company. That means I was on Schindler's lift!
 
Can't remember if I already posted this one (I searched the thread but man it's getting long!)

ice_dream.webp



so you get an extra:

For those of you having troubles with the net maybe this guy can help:

fromthenet.webp
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: DennisN, davenn, BillTre and 1 other person
Also, because pictures of this type is so rare on the net and I want to be one of the first to post one:

cute_cats.webp
 
  • Like
  • Love
Likes   Reactions: DennisN, edwardII, davenn and 1 other person
berkeman said:
I have CDO.

It's the same as OCD, except the letters are in the proper order.

As they should be.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Agree
Likes   Reactions: DennisN, davenn, jack action and 3 others