Collection of Lame Jokes

  • #4,201
DrGreg
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And if they had one more leg, they would have 010 of them.
That reminds me, it's the time of year to resurrect this joke.

Q: Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?

A: Because
Code:
31 OCT = 25 DEC
 
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  • #4,202
Ibix
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And if they had one more leg, they would have 010 of them.
This is pretty arcane, but some C programmers and web developers might get this...
Hint: ##010 \ne 10##
010==0x08
 
  • #4,203
DrGreg
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010==0x08
Code:
true
 
  • #4,204
Ibix
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Code:
true
I saw a chatlog somewhere years ago. Someone asked "1 is true and 0 is false in C, right?" and got the response "1".

Feel free to work through the possible interpretations of that answer.
 
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  • #4,205
DrGreg
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I saw a chatlog somewhere years ago. Someone asked "1 is true and 0 is false in C, right?" and got the response "1".

Feel free to work through the possible interpretations of that answer.

2B OR NOT 2B -- that is the question
TRUE -- that is the answer
 
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  • #4,206
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25DEC is 155116 in decimal.
 
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  • #4,207
collinsmark
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:nb)
2B OR NOT 2B -- that is the question
TRUE -- that is the answer
Now that's a new t-shirt that I need! :woot:

Hmm, gussying it up a bit, maybe:

[tex]
\begin{gather*}
\mathrm{0x2b} \ | \ \mathrm{ \mathtt{ \sim} 0x2b} \\
\mathrm{that \ is \ the \ question} \\
\\
-1 \\
\mathrm{that \ is \ the \ answer}
\end{gather*}
[/tex]

Edit: changed the answer from 255 to -1. The answer of 255 works for 8-bit, unsigned data types, but -1 is a correct answer for any fixed-point, signed data type including the evaluation of literals.

Another edit: Good grief, now that I've changed my answer, that answer is kind of profound and a little disturbing. I think I'll not order the t-shirt. :nb)
 
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  • #4,208
jack action
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Now that's a new t-shirt that I need! :woot:
Which version?

Gamer (Because there are 2 versions of Persona 2):

191919%2Cc_limit%2Cf_jpg%2Ch_630%2Cq_90%2Cw_630%2Fv1488899709%2Fproduction%2Fdesigns%2F1297753_1.jpg

Programmer (boolean):

?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.3VReQUuvM3Qan-_B5f74MwEsEs%26pid%3D15.jpg

Programmer (regex):

?u=http%3A%2F%2Fi.stack.imgur.com%2FaJAcy.jpg

Bell boy:

2b_or_not_2b_tshirt.jpg

Logic gate:

?u=https%3A%2F%2Fs3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com%2Ftshirts%2F10753_blacktshirt.jpg

Beekeeper:

?u=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F494209985%2F2b_or_not_2b_creeper_infant_tshirt.jpg

Writer's dilemma:

?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.ozyZEIQ5YQx8vK8RMwGN9QEsEs%26pid%3D15.jpg

Too good to be forgotten (2G2B4G):

p%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2F2b_or_not_2b_2g2b4g_shirt-r8848cb7a6e92451b89b0c23ae0d61132_8najw_512.jpg

Sherlock Holmes:

tart.net%2F7eb6%2Fth%2Fpre%2Fi%2F2012%2F203%2F4%2Fb%2F2b_or_not_2b__221b__by_whodyathink-d586wku.jpg

Or the simplest international version:

com%2F2b_or_not_2b_shakespeare_hamlets_morbid_tshirt-rc342821f0126414683197a570a11d9fa_jg4dk_512.jpg
 

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    ?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.ozyZEIQ5YQx8vK8RMwGN9QEsEs%26pid%3D15.jpg
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  • #4,209
jtbell
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"Can I get an appointment with the doctor today? It's urgent... I'm shrinking!"

"I'll try to squeeze you in, but you might have to be a little patient."
 
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  • #4,210
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Someone asked "1 is true and 0 is false in C, right?"
That is so, but also 3 is true, and so is -8. In C, anything other than zero is considered true.
 
  • #4,211
Ibix
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That is so, but also 3 is true, and so is -8. In C, anything other than zero is considered true.
3 && -8
 
  • #4,212
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3 && -8 is true
3 & -8, on the other hand, is false.
 
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  • #4,213
fresh_42
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I found out that "All cookies removed" sounds far better than "All cookies eaten".
 
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  • #4,214
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computers-website-website_cookie-biscuit-snack-internet_research-tcrn1913_low.jpg
 

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  • #4,215
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I found out that "All cookies removed" sounds far better than "All cookies eaten".
Depends who ate them! ... :wink:
 
  • #4,216
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I found out that "All cookies removed" sounds far better than "All cookies eaten".
Depends who ate them! ... :wink:
+ usually, while the first one is being done I do the second ... (... the cookie jar cannot "hide in the background"! ...)
 
  • #4,217
jtbell
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I seem to be having a run on doctor jokes this week...

Why did the doctor laugh when a patient arrived with a broken arm?

Because he considered it to be a humerus incident.
 
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  • #4,218
Ibix
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A man runs into a doctor's office, tackles him to the ground, sits on him, and starts shouting "One! Two! Three! Four!"

The doctor manages to push him off and demands to know what he's doing. "But doctor!" says the man. "They said I could count on you!"
 
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  • #4,219
256bits
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I seem to be having a run on doctor jokes this week...
Here's some more ..... for you.

I went to the doctor the other day. He said to go to the window, make faces and pull my pants down. I said, And that's supposed to cure me. He said, No, I hate my neighbour.
Doctor, I haven't eaten in 3 days. He said, Wow, I wish I had that much willpower.

I told him, Doctor, I'm depressed. Everyone hates me. He said, Don't be ridiculous. You haven't met everybody.

I told him, Doctor, I need a second opinion. He said, Well then, OK, Your ugly.

No Doc, last week my wife and I were mugged, But he took one look at her and said, Sorry man, and ran off.
Now she talks dirty talk during sex. Why just last night she called from a motel.
Doc, I'm worried about my wife, we haven't had sex for a month. Doc says, What, you too.

I went back several weeks later after I broke my arm in two places. The doctor said to stay away from those places.

I tell you, I get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield
 
  • #4,220
fresh_42
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When I recently asked a doctor if he ever had a relationship with a patient, he immediately knocked me down. No humor these coroners.

Doctor: "You have only 10 left to live."
Me: "10 what? Years? Months?
Doctor: "9."

I have male flu. And my friend sends me alone to the doctor instead of ordering a priest to the bed. Heartless ...!
 
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  • #4,221
collinsmark
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..... Late one autumn evening a man barges into the dentist's office flailing his arms and screaming, "Doc! Doc, ya' gotta help me, I think I'm a fly!!"
....."A fly?" asked the dentist. "Um, I think you should see a psychiatrist. I'm a dentist."
....."I know! I know, I saw the dentist sign in your window!" the man quickly shouted.
.....The dentist shrugged, "Well, then why did you come in here?"
....."The light was on!!"
 
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  • #4,222
davenn
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upload_2017-12-17_10-27-36.png
 

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  • #4,223
davenn
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25446173_10203769110464230_5959192660109303289_n.jpg
 

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  • #4,224
davenn
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If your taller than your mum .. does that make her a minimum??
 
  • #4,225
davenn
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If your wrong and you remain silent your wise.
If your right and you remain silent your married
 
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