Collection of Lame Jokes

DrGreg
Gold Member
And if they had one more leg, they would have 010 of them.
That reminds me, it's the time of year to resurrect this joke.

Q: Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?

A: Because
Code:
31 OCT = 25 DEC

DrClaude, jtbell, Mark44 and 1 other person
Ibix
And if they had one more leg, they would have 010 of them.
This is pretty arcane, but some C programmers and web developers might get this...
Hint: ##010 \ne 10##
010==0x08

Mark44
DrGreg
Gold Member
010==0x08
Code:
true

DrClaude
Ibix
Code:
true
I saw a chatlog somewhere years ago. Someone asked "1 is true and 0 is false in C, right?" and got the response "1".

Feel free to work through the possible interpretations of that answer.

collinsmark
DrGreg
Gold Member
I saw a chatlog somewhere years ago. Someone asked "1 is true and 0 is false in C, right?" and got the response "1".

Feel free to work through the possible interpretations of that answer.

2B OR NOT 2B -- that is the question
TRUE -- that is the answer

Ibix and collinsmark
mfb
Mentor
25DEC is 155116 in decimal.

Ibix, collinsmark and DrClaude
collinsmark
Homework Helper
Gold Member
2B OR NOT 2B -- that is the question
TRUE -- that is the answer
Now that's a new t-shirt that I need!

Hmm, gussying it up a bit, maybe:

$$\begin{gather*} \mathrm{0x2b} \ | \ \mathrm{ \mathtt{ \sim} 0x2b} \\ \mathrm{that \ is \ the \ question} \\ \\ -1 \\ \mathrm{that \ is \ the \ answer} \end{gather*}$$

Edit: changed the answer from 255 to -1. The answer of 255 works for 8-bit, unsigned data types, but -1 is a correct answer for any fixed-point, signed data type including the evaluation of literals.

Another edit: Good grief, now that I've changed my answer, that answer is kind of profound and a little disturbing. I think I'll not order the t-shirt.

Last edited:
jack action
Gold Member
Now that's a new t-shirt that I need!
Which version?

Gamer (Because there are 2 versions of Persona 2):

Programmer (boolean):

Programmer (regex):

Bell boy:

Logic gate:

Beekeeper:

Writer's dilemma:

Too good to be forgotten (2G2B4G):

Sherlock Holmes:

Or the simplest international version:

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davenn, 256bits, OCR and 3 others
jtbell
Mentor
"Can I get an appointment with the doctor today? It's urgent... I'm shrinking!"

"I'll try to squeeze you in, but you might have to be a little patient."

AlexCaledin, davenn, Ibix and 2 others
Mark44
Mentor
Someone asked "1 is true and 0 is false in C, right?"
That is so, but also 3 is true, and so is -8. In C, anything other than zero is considered true.

Ibix
Ibix
That is so, but also 3 is true, and so is -8. In C, anything other than zero is considered true.
3 && -8

mfb
Mentor
3 && -8 is true
3 & -8, on the other hand, is false.

collinsmark and Ibix
fresh_42
Mentor
2021 Award
I found out that "All cookies removed" sounds far better than "All cookies eaten".

Stavros Kiri and AlexCaledin

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Stavros Kiri, Ibix and fresh_42
I found out that "All cookies removed" sounds far better than "All cookies eaten".
Depends who ate them! ...

fresh_42
I found out that "All cookies removed" sounds far better than "All cookies eaten".
Depends who ate them! ...
+ usually, while the first one is being done I do the second ... (... the cookie jar cannot "hide in the background"! ...)

jtbell
Mentor
I seem to be having a run on doctor jokes this week...

Why did the doctor laugh when a patient arrived with a broken arm?

Because he considered it to be a humerus incident.

davenn, AlexCaledin, collinsmark and 1 other person
Ibix
A man runs into a doctor's office, tackles him to the ground, sits on him, and starts shouting "One! Two! Three! Four!"

The doctor manages to push him off and demands to know what he's doing. "But doctor!" says the man. "They said I could count on you!"

AlexCaledin and Stavros Kiri
256bits
Gold Member
I seem to be having a run on doctor jokes this week...
Here's some more ..... for you.

I went to the doctor the other day. He said to go to the window, make faces and pull my pants down. I said, And that's supposed to cure me. He said, No, I hate my neighbour.
Doctor, I haven't eaten in 3 days. He said, Wow, I wish I had that much willpower.

I told him, Doctor, I'm depressed. Everyone hates me. He said, Don't be ridiculous. You haven't met everybody.

I told him, Doctor, I need a second opinion. He said, Well then, OK, Your ugly.

No Doc, last week my wife and I were mugged, But he took one look at her and said, Sorry man, and ran off.
Now she talks dirty talk during sex. Why just last night she called from a motel.
Doc, I'm worried about my wife, we haven't had sex for a month. Doc says, What, you too.

I went back several weeks later after I broke my arm in two places. The doctor said to stay away from those places.

I tell you, I get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield

jtbell
fresh_42
Mentor
2021 Award
When I recently asked a doctor if he ever had a relationship with a patient, he immediately knocked me down. No humor these coroners.

Doctor: "You have only 10 left to live."
Me: "10 what? Years? Months?
Doctor: "9."

I have male flu. And my friend sends me alone to the doctor instead of ordering a priest to the bed. Heartless ...!

davenn, Ibix and jack action
collinsmark
Homework Helper
Gold Member
..... Late one autumn evening a man barges into the dentist's office flailing his arms and screaming, "Doc! Doc, ya' gotta help me, I think I'm a fly!!"
....."A fly?" asked the dentist. "Um, I think you should see a psychiatrist. I'm a dentist."
.....The dentist shrugged, "Well, then why did you come in here?"
....."The light was on!!"

davenn, Ibix, jtbell and 2 others
davenn
Gold Member
2021 Award

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DrClaude, AlexCaledin, collinsmark and 1 other person
davenn
Gold Member
2021 Award

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collinsmark and gmax137
davenn
Gold Member
2021 Award
If your taller than your mum .. does that make her a minimum??

stoomart
davenn