Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

I was going to post that, but I hadn't got round to it yet.

Procrastination is a good thing. It means you have got time today, plus you have something to do tomorrow.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 314815

Apparently it's Art.

 

[Ibix]

I was going to post that, but I hadn't got round to it yet.

A friend of mine tells me he won an award for procrastination. He promises he's going to go and collect it any day now.

 

[Swamp Thing]

A friend of mine tells me he won an award for procrastination. He promises he's going to go and collect it any day now.

Once he gets confirmation that the award certificate has been designed and printed by the committee.

Edit: Hang on, I'm going to edit this post. Won't be long.

 

[berkeman]

From my Facebook feed -- Gotta waterproof your reporter microphone in the rainy report...

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ibix]

From my Facebook feed -- Gotta waterproof your reporter microphone in the rainy report...

View attachment 314828

That's a dick move.

Douglas Adams and Mark Carwardine's book "Last Chance To See" recounts their troubles trying to record the sound level underwater in the Yangtze (a major reason why Yangtze river dolphins are in a book so titled) with non-waterproof microphones. They adopted the same solution as the reporter, but needed to buy some and didn't speak much Chinese. Resorting to mime got the message across, but they kept being offered contraceptive pills because "they're better".

 

[phinds]

Apparently it's Art.

Meh. I like the Road Runner guess better.

 

[George Jones]

$\log\left(1+2+3\right) = \log\left(1\right) + \log\left(2\right) + \log\left(3\right)$

 

[Orodruin]

$\log\left(1+2+3\right) = \log\left(1\right) + \log\left(2\right) + \log\left(3\right)$

I mean, it is not wrong …

 

[George Jones]

I mean, it is not wrong …

Yesterday I showed this to a pure mathematician friend. After a few seconds he literally LOLed, so I thought I'd put it the joke thread, as other folks also might chuckle.

 

[pinball1970]

From my Facebook feed -- Gotta waterproof your reporter microphone in the rainy report...

View attachment 314828

Er... surely not?

 

[pinball1970]

I mean, it is not wrong …

Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?

 

[DaveC426913]

(I make a meme!)

Software devs be like...

 

[DrGreg]

Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?

The joke is that it is supposedly analagous to
$$5 \times (1 + 2 + 3) = 5 \times 1 + 5 \times 2 + 5 \times 3
$$or, to put it another way, treating $\log(x)$ as if it meant $(log) \times (x)$. Which is false.

The more subtle part of the joke is that the overall result is actually true...

Spoiler: ...because...

...because $1 + 2 + 3 = 1 \times 2 \times 3$ and so
$$ \log(1 + 2 + 3) = \log(1 \times 2 \times 3) = \log(1) + \log(2) + \log(3)$$

 

[Orodruin]

Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?

Use logarithm laws
$$
\log(1+2+3) = \log(6) = \log(1\cdot 2 \cdot 3) = \log(1) + \log(2) + \log(3).
$$

 

[Orodruin]

Yesterday I showed this to a pure mathematician friend. After a few seconds he literally LOLed, so I thought I'd put it the joke thread, as other folks also might chuckle.

I must admit, I giggled.

 

[Ibix]

Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?

It's a very special case that happens to work. $$\begin{eqnarray*}
\ln(a+b+c)&=&\ln(a)+\ln(b)+\ln(c)\\
&=&\ln(abc)\\
\therefore a+b+c&=&abc
\end{eqnarray*}$$That's not generally true, but it so happens that 1+2+3=1×2×3 - a surprisingly simple special case. How funny that is depends on how hard you instinctively reject $\ln(1+2+3)=\ln(1)+\ln(2)+\ln(3)$ on the basis of the general rule before noticing the special case. I definitely snrked.

 

[fresh_42]

It's a very special case that happens to work. $$\begin{eqnarray*}
\ln(a+b+c)&=&\ln(a)+\ln(b)+\ln(c)\\
&=&\ln(abc)\\
\therefore a+b+c&=&abc
\end{eqnarray*}$$That's not generally true, but it so happens that 1+2+3=1×2×3 - a surprisingly simple special case. How funny that is depends on how hard you instinctively reject $\ln(1+2+3)=\ln(1)+\ln(2)+\ln(3)$ on the basis of the general rule before noticing the special case. I definitely snrked.

I must confess, I even put it on the calculator before I saw what was going on.

 

[DrGreg]

I must confess, I even put it on the calculator before I saw what was going on.

I must also confess, when I first saw the joke, I saw only the wrong method and didn't notice the answer was correct.

 

[fresh_42]

I must also confess, when I first saw the joke, I saw only the wrong method and didn't notice the answer was correct.

Me typing it in WA literally described the thought process:

$\log(6) - \log(1)-\log(2 \ldots$ wait, $\log(1)=0$ so $\ldots \log(6)-\log(2)-\log \ldots$ wait $\log(2\cdot 3)=\log($

 

[dextercioby]

This is a joke thread, but the moment begs the serious question: is 1,2,3 (permutated) the only real/complex solution to abc = a+b+c, when either of a, b, c cannot be 0?

 

[DrGreg]

I knocked on the door of a B&B. The landlady opened the door and asked me what I wanted.

"I want to stay here", I said.

"Then stay there", she replied, and shut the door.

______________
As told by Tommy Cooper.

 

[Ibix]

I knocked on the door of a B&B. The landlady opened the door and asked me what I wanted.

"I want to stay here", I said.

"Then stay there", she replied, and shut the door.

______________
As told by Tommy Cooper.

Welcome to Hotel California
You didn't check in any time at all
So you can never leave

 

[OCR]

Lol. . . .

.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

Regarding Nordstream:

(from a Finnish site (https://www.hs.fi/sarjakuvat/jarla/car-2000009105383.html))

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 314888

That's great. Paul looks he has footwear on.
EDIT: You are probably aware but the image was supposed to represent a funeral.
Priest, grave digger, pallbearer/head mourner and deceased. The no shoes thing was denoting it was Paul.

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 314937

I am apalled by the lack of appropriate units for speed.

 

[DaveC426913]

I am apalled by the lack of appropriate units for speed.

Reminds me of the atrocity committed by ultra-nerd Gil Grissom on CSI: Vegas:

"That's a five story fall. Terminal velocity is 9.8metres per second, so if he wasn't pushed, he should have landed about ... here."

It just gets worse the more you read it.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

The most difficult part of constructing a perpetual motion machine is hiding the batteries.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DennisN]

 

[mfb]

This is a joke thread, but the moment begs the serious question: is 1,2,3 (permutated) the only real/complex solution to abc = a+b+c, when either of a, b, c cannot be 0?

You can solve for c = (a+b)/(ab-1).
As an example, another solution is a=3, b=7, c=1/2. It's easy to see from that expression that 1,2,3 is the only integer solution.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

Turn the tape over twice to access the secret C side...