Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #13,651
DrGreg said:
I was going to post that, but I hadn't got round to it yet.
Procrastination is a good thing. It means you have got time today, plus you have something to do tomorrow.
 
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  • #13,653
DrGreg said:
I was going to post that, but I hadn't got round to it yet.
A friend of mine tells me he won an award for procrastination. He promises he's going to go and collect it any day now.
 
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  • #13,654
Ibix said:
A friend of mine tells me he won an award for procrastination. He promises he's going to go and collect it any day now.
Once he gets confirmation that the award certificate has been designed and printed by the committee.

Edit: Hang on, I'm going to edit this post. Won't be long.
 
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  • #13,655
From my Facebook feed -- Gotta waterproof your reporter microphone in the rainy report...

1664509315339.png
 
  • #13,657
berkeman said:
From my Facebook feed -- Gotta waterproof your reporter microphone in the rainy report...

View attachment 314828
That's a dick move.

Douglas Adams and Mark Carwardine's book "Last Chance To See" recounts their troubles trying to record the sound level underwater in the Yangtze (a major reason why Yangtze river dolphins are in a book so titled) with non-waterproof microphones. They adopted the same solution as the reporter, but needed to buy some and didn't speak much Chinese. Resorting to mime got the message across, but they kept being offered contraceptive pills because "they're better".
 
  • #13,659
##\log\left(1+2+3\right) = \log\left(1\right) + \log\left(2\right) + \log\left(3\right)##
 
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  • #13,660
George Jones said:
##\log\left(1+2+3\right) = \log\left(1\right) + \log\left(2\right) + \log\left(3\right)##
I mean, it is not wrong …
 
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  • #13,661
Orodruin said:
I mean, it is not wrong …
Yesterday I showed this to a pure mathematician friend. After a few seconds he literally LOLed, so I thought I'd put it the joke thread, as other folks also might chuckle.
 
  • #13,662
berkeman said:
From my Facebook feed -- Gotta waterproof your reporter microphone in the rainy report...

View attachment 314828
Er... surely not?
 
  • #13,663
Orodruin said:
I mean, it is not wrong …
Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?
 
  • #13,664
(I make a meme!)

Software devs be like...

1664562633658.png
 
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  • #13,665
pinball1970 said:
Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?
The joke is that it is supposedly analagous to
$$5 \times (1 + 2 + 3) = 5 \times 1 + 5 \times 2 + 5 \times 3
$$or, to put it another way, treating ##\log(x)## as if it meant ##(log) \times (x)##. Which is false.

The more subtle part of the joke is that the overall result is actually true...
...because ##1 + 2 + 3 = 1 \times 2 \times 3## and so
$$ \log(1 + 2 + 3) = \log(1 \times 2 \times 3) = \log(1) + \log(2) + \log(3)$$
 
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  • #13,666
pinball1970 said:
Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?
Use logarithm laws
$$
\log(1+2+3) = \log(6) = \log(1\cdot 2 \cdot 3) = \log(1) + \log(2) + \log(3).
$$
 
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  • #13,667
George Jones said:
Yesterday I showed this to a pure mathematician friend. After a few seconds he literally LOLed, so I thought I'd put it the joke thread, as other folks also might chuckle.
I must admit, I giggled.
 
  • #13,668
pinball1970 said:
Do we not do the parentheses first? Or is this another mathematics joke I don't understand?
It's a very special case that happens to work. $$\begin{eqnarray*}
\ln(a+b+c)&=&\ln(a)+\ln(b)+\ln(c)\\
&=&\ln(abc)\\
\therefore a+b+c&=&abc
\end{eqnarray*}$$That's not generally true, but it so happens that 1+2+3=1×2×3 - a surprisingly simple special case. How funny that is depends on how hard you instinctively reject ##\ln(1+2+3)=\ln(1)+\ln(2)+\ln(3)## on the basis of the general rule before noticing the special case. I definitely snrked.
 
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  • #13,669
Ibix said:
It's a very special case that happens to work. $$\begin{eqnarray*}
\ln(a+b+c)&=&\ln(a)+\ln(b)+\ln(c)\\
&=&\ln(abc)\\
\therefore a+b+c&=&abc
\end{eqnarray*}$$That's not generally true, but it so happens that 1+2+3=1×2×3 - a surprisingly simple special case. How funny that is depends on how hard you instinctively reject ##\ln(1+2+3)=\ln(1)+\ln(2)+\ln(3)## on the basis of the general rule before noticing the special case. I definitely snrked.
I must confess, I even put it on the calculator before I saw what was going on.
 
  • #13,670
fresh_42 said:
I must confess, I even put it on the calculator before I saw what was going on.
I must also confess, when I first saw the joke, I saw only the wrong method and didn't notice the answer was correct.
 
  • #13,671
DrGreg said:
I must also confess, when I first saw the joke, I saw only the wrong method and didn't notice the answer was correct.
Me typing it in WA literally described the thought process:

##\log(6) - \log(1)-\log(2 \ldots## wait, ##\log(1)=0## so ##\ldots \log(6)-\log(2)-\log \ldots## wait ##\log(2\cdot 3)=\log(## :oldsurprised:
 
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  • #13,672
This is a joke thread, but the moment begs the serious question: is 1,2,3 (permutated) the only real/complex solution to abc = a+b+c, when either of a, b, c cannot be 0?
 
  • #13,673
I knocked on the door of a B&B. The landlady opened the door and asked me what I wanted.

"I want to stay here", I said.

"Then stay there", she replied, and shut the door.

______________
As told by Tommy Cooper.
 
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  • #13,674
DrGreg said:
I knocked on the door of a B&B. The landlady opened the door and asked me what I wanted.

"I want to stay here", I said.

"Then stay there", she replied, and shut the door.

______________
As told by Tommy Cooper.
Welcome to Hotel California
You didn't check in any time at all
So you can never leave
 
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  • #13,675
Lol. . . . :-p

.
 
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  • #13,676
_nc_ohc=6l2ix-rCCVEAX_mmeBI&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,677
_nc_ohc=mMPcZG75mPgAX98wa2D&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,679
fresh_42 said:
That's great. Paul looks he has footwear on.
EDIT: You are probably aware but the image was supposed to represent a funeral.
Priest, grave digger, pallbearer/head mourner and deceased. The no shoes thing was denoting it was Paul.
 
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  • #13,680
FB_IMG_16647161723615768.jpg
 
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  • #13,681
20221002_161137.jpg
 
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  • #13,682
20220729_024923.jpg
 
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  • #13,683
_nc_ohc=8fi55wzUvOwAX9Q1-ZB&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,684
_nc_ohc=EQVLXUgMHfMAX_N9T_G&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,685
_nc_ohc=5132P3VyT1gAX-RplvW&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,686
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  • #13,687
Orodruin said:
I am apalled by the lack of appropriate units for speed.
Reminds me of the atrocity committed by ultra-nerd Gil Grissom on CSI: Vegas:

"That's a five story fall. Terminal velocity is 9.8metres per second, so if he wasn't pushed, he should have landed about ... here."

It just gets worse the more you read it.
 
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  • #13,689
1664804767032.png
 
  • #13,690
1664804792255.png
 
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  • #13,691
1664809460200.png
 
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  • #13,692
The most difficult part of constructing a perpetual motion machine is hiding the batteries.
 
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  • #13,693
_nc_ohc=TlCJnbLWxnsAX-PbQ4t&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,694
X8m8ZxR&tn=gMXr7BW6gpKPJJCa&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,695
FB_IMG_1664945334919.jpg
 
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  • #13,696
Playing sick.jpg
 
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  • #13,697
dextercioby said:
This is a joke thread, but the moment begs the serious question: is 1,2,3 (permutated) the only real/complex solution to abc = a+b+c, when either of a, b, c cannot be 0?
You can solve for c = (a+b)/(ab-1).
As an example, another solution is a=3, b=7, c=1/2. It's easy to see from that expression that 1,2,3 is the only integer solution.
 
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  • #13,698
1664992460959.png
 
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  • #13,700
Turn the tape over twice to access the secret C side...
 

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