Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Turn the tape over twice to access the secret C side...

I thought it should be played backwards.

 

[Ibix]

I thought it should be played backwards.

No, that plays the A side again. If you play the B side backwards you get the

side.

 

[DrGreg]

If you play the A side upside down you get all the sides.

Spoiler: I don't get it

Do you know what the maths symbol $\forall$ means?

 

[Ibix]

Whereas the B side upside down just plays the B side.

I'm reminded of a science puzzle book I had as a kid that showed a picture of the words CARBON DIOXIDE viewed through a bottle of water (so a cheap cylindrical lens, basically). Carbon was upside down, which they explained was due to blue light being more strongly refracted than red. Then they asked if you believed that and, if not, if you could see a simpler explanation.

 

[fresh_42]

Ok, we went from AB to CD. But why wasn't DVD EF and BD GH?

 

[DrGreg]

Whereas the B side upside down just plays the B side.

Or the ꓭ side?

 

[fresh_42]

Or the ꓭ side?

How did you type that? Do you have inverted keyboards?

 

[DrGreg]

How did you type that? Do you have inverted keyboards?

Joke answer: I'm in Australia.

Real answer: I did a Google search for "upside down B" and found https://text-symbols.com/upside-down/

 

[fresh_42]

I did a Google search for "upside down B" and found https://text-symbols.com/upside-down/

That is funny enough to make it on my list:

 

[fresh_42]

For all who want to see the rest:

https://www.physicsforums.com/threa...th-and-other-curiosities.970262/#post-6164027

... and I'm always open to suggestions, if new (we don't need another Nero) and, or funny.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveC426913]

Ok, we went from AB to CD. But why wasn't DVD EF and BD GH?

Isn't that a Benny Hill bit? Or a Two Ronnies sketch?

"F U N E M N X?"
"S, V F M N X."

 

[DrGreg]

Isn't that a Benny Hill bit? Or a Two Ronnies sketch?

"F U N E M N X?"
"S, V F M N X."

Two Ronnies "Swedish made simple"

They predicted txtspk decades before it happened.

 

[jtbell]

I hear one of the railroads is going to start a special high-speed freight service for shipping poultry across the country.

It'll be called the "Pullet Train".

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Borg]

It wouldn't be complete without a barmaid though.

 

[jack action]

OK, I just found my new thing to spice up conversations:

 

[mfb]

Turn the tape over twice to access the secret C side...

That only works for USB.

And electrons.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 315122

We're actually in the middle of a bathroom tub/shower renovation right now. We're getting both grab bars and the little shelves shown here. Now I have ideas for how to use the shelves.

 

[DrGreg]

Turn the tape over twice to access the secret C side...

That reminds me of the Monty Python vinyl LP Matching Tie and Handkerchief. If you played the B side, flipped it to play the A side, then flipped it again, you really did (50% of the time) get a secret C side.

Spoiler: Explanation

The B side, instead of having a single spiral groove, had two concentric grooves interleaved with each other. It was a matter of luck which of those two grooves the stylus landed on.

 

[Swamp Thing]

That reminds me of the Monty Python vinyl LP Matching Tie and Handkerchief. If you played the B side, flipped it to play the A side, then flipped it again, you really did (50% of the time) get a secret C side.

Spoiler: Explanation

The B side, instead of having a single spiral groove, had two concentric grooves interleaved with each other. It was a matter of luck which of those two grooves the stylus landed on.

View attachment 315170

There are more examples of weird vinyl disks here:

 

[Ibix]

That reminds me of the Monty Python vinyl LP Matching Tie and Handkerchief.

I'd forgotten about that one. I love that kind of little trick.

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 315079​

It got me thinking about the hilarious Hifi store sketch where Rowan Atkinson plays an extremely annoying salesman :) :

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: Ouch. Stein = stone

 

[WWGD]

How did you type that? Do you have inverted keyboards?

A paint program can probably flip or reflect letters.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

A paint program can probably flip or reflect letters.

Of course, I checked with my superpowers before I asked!

 

[Borg]

My own creation. Disaster girl at the Kerch bridge.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 315295View attachment 315295

There was a guy on another forum I used to frequent whose sig was "Use your indicators! You people act like it's sharing information with the enemy!"

 

[256bits]

Is that the honest truth?

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 315300
Is that the honest truth?

Well, you can set them all to flash at once. That means "I know I'm parked illegally and/or dangerously and/or I'm making things difficult for other road users, but I don't care".

 

[Borg]

When I lived in Kentucky, many drivers had the weird habit of using turn signals after completing a lane change. Shortly after moving to the DC area, a driver pulled the same stunt in front of me one day. Yup, Kentucky plates.

 

[DrGreg]

I'm old enough to remember my parents once had an old car whose indicators looked like this:

Trafficators

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[DrGreg]

I must confess it took me a while to work out what's wrong with this.

Spoiler: Clue

Look closely at the second letter...

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 315328
I must confess it took me a while to work out what's wrong with this.

Spoiler: Clue

Look closely at the second letter...

3 people found this helpful?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]