Collection of Lame Jokes

[Borg]

Saw this in a comments section:
Fun Fact: The Lions are now 0-13 On Thanksgiving When The Moon is on a waxing gibbous phase.

 

[phinds]

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 336052

That's a handy superpower to have.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Swamp Thing]

I think it's along the lines of "sein stromrechnung", but what is "wotti nit ha"?

 

[fresh_42]

wollte ich nicht haben = I didn't want to have

 

[DennisN]

What? Are you going to put that rusty key in my mouth?

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Mayhem]

That's missing the contestant who completes the final square here.

View attachment 336049

Clearly, constellations are a conspiracy theory.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 336100

Maybe those are pandemic benches.

 

[fresh_42]

Maybe those are pandemic benches.

Finnish is the more likely reason.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Structural engineer who wants to cut a few corners: "Truss me, bro!"

 

[jtbell]

Finnish is the more likely reason.

Finnish males do have a stereotype of being loners, leading to jokes like this:

Two Finns got together for a drink after not having seen each other for a long time. After sitting at the table drinking for an hour, one spoke up: "Sure is cold today, isn't it?"

The other growled, "Did we come here to drink or to talk?"

Here's a group of four Finns, in an 1894 painting:

From upper left, the artist Akseli Gallen-Kallela (who painted this), the composer Oskar Merikanto, the conductor Robert Kajanus, and the composer Jean Sibelius.

 

[davenn]

 

[pinball1970]

Oh, I know so well what you mean. Same here .

Band Aid..........there I said it!

 

[fresh_42]

Finnish males do have a stereotype of being loners, leading to jokes like this:

That is what I love about Europe. You can find all kinds of mentalities, and to be honest, cuisines, movies, and music. It is commonly assumed that the Finnish gloominess is related to the short days and long nights there in the North but I believe it must be more than that.

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 336168

I admit it, that took me a moment.

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

I admit it, that took me a moment.

-Dan

Me, too! I searched on YouTube to find it in 1972. And my first hits were really weird. As I got it it was a clear case of facepalm.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

Startrek x Cheers:

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

Startrek x Cheers:

View attachment 336198

If you weren't aware, Kelsey Grammer did cameo in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation as captain of USS Bozeman.

 

[topsquark]

If you weren't aware, Kelsey Grammer did cameo in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation as captain of USS Bozeman.

"Yesterday's Enterprise." One of the better episodes in the series, in fact. Though he had all of, like, two lines! (Though what they did with Tasha's character as a result was, IMHO, pretty lame.)

Stardate 432625.2(?) Okay, I watched it enough that I pretty much had the whole thing memorized at one point. So sue me! It's good Sci-fi!

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

"Yesterday's Enterprise."

No, that's the one with Tasha and the 1701-C. It's "Cause and Effect", although you're correct that it was a good episode and that he had about two lines.

43625.2 is the stardate for Yesterday's Enterprise, according to Memory Alpha. Cause and Effect is 45652.1.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[topsquark]

No, that's the one with Tasha and the 1701-C. It's "Cause and Effect", although you're correct that it was a good episode and that he had about two lines.

43625.2 is the stardate for Yesterday's Enterprise, according to Memory Alpha. Cause and Effect is 45652.1.

Oh, Heaven save me, yes! What was I thinking. Data's poker game.

Ach! That was a big brain fart. I know several people back in the day who would never forgive me if they knew I said that.

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveE]

 

[DennisN]

Anyone that knows me and one of my passions .....

View attachment 335802

If you are collecting meteorites and are being nagged for it, you may be caught between a rock and a hard place.

 

[DennisN]

It's more about holding off George Michael over here.

Oh, I know so well what you mean. Same here .

 

[jack action]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jack action]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

Ach! That was a big brain fart. I know several people back in the day who would never forgive me if they knew I said that.

Both episodes were good, but Yesterday's Enterprise had a rather larger impact on the mythos, it has to be said. I'm impressed you were only one digit off on the stardate. I could have got the 43 at the beginning from it being a third season episode, but that's all.

 

[topsquark]

Both episodes were good, but Yesterday's Enterprise had a rather larger impact on the mythos, it has to be said. I'm impressed you were only one digit off on the stardate. I could have got the 43 at the beginning from it being a third season episode, but that's all.

My friends and I ticked off a lot of people back in the late 80s/early 90s in my undergrad. There were two Star Trek hours a weeknight, three on Fridays, and two more on Saturdays. We made sure to get the TV in the lounge. We watched religiously!

Unfortunately DS9 didn't quite have the same "kick" so I never got into that, and by the time Voyager came out I was in grad school and didn't have the time. (I got rid of my TV before Enterprise came out.) So, my Star Trek days are pretty much over.

But, hey, I'm playing D&D again! Woohoo!

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 336268

If the condemned man were an engineer, he'd probably say, "Here, let me show you how to do that!"

 

[jack action]

If the condemned man were an engineer, he'd probably say, "Here, let me show you how to do that!"

I don't know if I would show the executioner how to do it, but I would surely be mad and complain that society is full of incompetent people. If someone would point out that I avoided death because of that, my answer would be: "Irrelevant!"

 

[dextercioby]