Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

Comparing Tesla 0-60 times to real performance cars is like comparing a microwave to a BBQ grill.

It may cook faster but nobody ever wished for a microwaved burger.

 

[jack action]

 

[berkeman]

From FB today:

 

[jtbell]

A guy gets home from a Saturday night gig with his band.

Wife: "Where's your instrument?"

Guy: "Oh nooo! I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco!"

 

[davenn]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

My GF is being harassed by a woman dating a former male friend . He wanted more than friendship but my GF wasn't interested. So apparently he is spreading nasty rumors about my GF, hence the harassment. My GF was asking if I had any idea how to put a stop to it.

I told her to message her former friend and all concerned explaining that she is a man transitioning to a woman. She loved the idea. After she quit laughing she said she is going to do it.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 329558​

Based on the clothing and background, that scene appears to be around 1900. Any moon landing then WAS faked.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 329494

I'll see your duck and raise you a turtle:

 

[fresh_42]

I'll see your duck and raise you a turtle:

View attachment 329562​

Let's make it a 3 bet. I raise a chicken:

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

How our Aussie friends celebrated the blockbuster movie weekend: with a shrimp on the Barbie!

 

[nuuskur]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Oppenheimer pulled in over $80 million over its opening weekend.

Good thing! I didn't want to read that Oppenheimer bombed at the theater.

 

[davenn]

 

[nuuskur]

talk about double standards

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

"Then what the deuce is this", surely.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 329631​

It's probably because of the "p" because I asked that myself in the case of a pair of pants.

 

[JT Smith]

Has the creator of that joke never played cards?

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Every time I see the thread Polarizing ink and glasses
I think, newspaper ink and whisky glasses.

 

[JT Smith]

View attachment 329634

Kind of like magnetic monopole?

Let's see you do that same dissection with a pair of underpants.