Collection of Lame Jokes

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topsquark said:
All in a 15 minute time span.
Florida is smaller than 15 light minutes … 😏
 
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Ibix said:
Can you not just long touch the image and select Save image? That's how it works on my 'droid.
I'll give it a try. I was able to do it on my previous one.
 
That may take a while ...

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Why? That's why ...

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If farmers in Idaho were replaced by monkeys would that make them potato chimps?
 
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IIRC there have been wood-burning steam locomotives. Would those count as vegan?
 
Hertz must be diversifying their business model.

I just read an article from Barron's on Apple News which describes the writer's "experience driving a Tesla Model 3 with my wife and cat that we rented from Hertz."
 
jtbell said:
IIRC there have been wood-burning steam locomotives. Would those count as vegan?
Then vegan should include all coal-fired boilers, locomotives and power stations.
 
jtbell said:
IIRC there have been wood-burning steam locomotives. Would those count as vegan?
Gas and Diesel are vegan, too, if you think about it.
 
fresh_42 said:
Gas and Diesel are vegan, too, if you think about it.
Depends what you consider a plant.
Aren't oil deposits from marine phytoplankton. Although they have chloroplasts, I don't think they are plants.
 
What kind of socks do Scottish pirates wear?

Arrrhgyle!
 
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BillTre said:
Depends what you consider a plant.
Aren't oil deposits from marine phytoplankton. Although they have chloroplasts, I don't think they are plants.
Phyto means plant IIRC. However, let me tell you a story about what can be called vegan.

I once saw the label "vegan" on my local, favorite brand of apple juice! I couldn't believe it. What else than vegan could apple juice be? So I decided to send them an email, asking, how in the world they could guarantee the absence of worms. (I know they are maggots, but we say worms here.) They responded and told me that their product is vegan because they do not use e.g. gelatine in the production process. Considering the maggots, they said, that these are inevitable to a small amount and that the apple juice is still vegan according to law.

So whatever fauna ended up as oil, consider it the maggots of apple juice.
 
fresh_42 said:
Phyto means plant IIRC. However, let me tell you a story about what can be called vegan.
The derivation of the prefix syllable does not determine how an organism is classified scientifically.
May work for colloquial or ancient conversations, but not accurate.
Would be evolutionarially misleading.

Not plants:
algae
floating single cells that can photosynthesize (both eukaryotic (algae) and prokaryotic (including cyanobacteria (from which chloroplasts are thought to have been derived))).
 
BillTre said:
The derivation of the prefix syllable does not determine how an organism is classified scientifically.
May work for colloquial or ancient conversations, but not accurate.
Would be evolutionarially misleading.

Not plants:
algae
floating single cells that can photosynthesize (both eukaryotic (algae) and prokaryotic (including cyanobacteria (from which chloroplasts are thought to have been derived))).
Good for Sheldon.
 
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"What do you want to eat?"
"Pregnant stamps."
"What?"
"The pasta that looks like it."
"Ravioli?"
"Yes."
 
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"How old would you guess I am?"
"22 by your eyes, 19 by your smile, and 21 by your laughter!"
"Oh, thanks!"
"Wait, let me add."
 
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At the farewell do, on the retirement of Dr. Smith.
Bruno asks Alan; "Is Dr. Smith married"?
Alan replies; "No, I don't think he is".
Bruno says; "That is lucky for his wife, isn't it".