Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

Q: What's white and black and red all over?
A: A zebra with an attitude.

The answer to that used to be "a newspaper", but now they're in colour and a lot of people just read the headlines.

 

[renormalize]

The answer to that used to be "a newspaper", but now they're in colour and a lot of people just read the headlines.

Another golden oldie answer is "a sunburned zebra".

 

[DennisN]

 

[renormalize]

 

[DrGreg]

View attachment 361803

Reminds me of the old joke:

Person doing crossword:
"Often found on the bottom of a birdcage, 4 letters: something something I T"

"GRIT"​

"Has anyone got an eraser?"

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 361494

 

[WWGD]

My other friend's motto was "fight fire with fire".

And that's why he was fired as a firefighter.

My friend's motto was a Vespa.

 

[Ibix]

My friend's motto was a Vespa.

Friend? You Harley know 'im.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 361803

Why do dogs Pick Their Teams?

Ans :

Spoiler

Cuz they can

 

[davenn]

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," he replied.

"Oh, killed any?" she said.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," came the answer.
Intrigued, the wife asked, "How can you tell them apart?"
Husband: "3 were on a beer can

, 2 were on the phone

."

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 361777

And then there were these things called "phone booths."

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

And then there were these things called "phone booths."

Not to forget where this mysterious "mail"-part in email comes from. On the other hand, email itself might be outdated meanwhile.

 

[DennisN]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

Sorry fellas, it is Point Break that was his pinnacle. Or maybe John Wick. Or Speed. Definitely not the matrix.

Matrix wasn't even invertible.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 361904

Meanwhile, outside the US:

 

[jtbell]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

New business of micro brewery and comedy house. The Brew-ha-house.

 

[dextercioby]

A little late for some dark one.

 

[fresh_42]

A little late for some dark one.

View attachment 361951

I saw this before, but I don't understand the second peak.