Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #6,091
never trust an electrician.jpg
 
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #6,092
Summer sale at the German food store: The best of the Wurst.
 
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  • #6,093
davenn said:
Worse if he hangs out with a shop teacher missing part of a finger (?).
 
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  • #6,094
A: Can you check my braking lights?
B: Front or rear?
 
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  • #6,095
davenn said:
I would actually do that. No need to dirty the wheels in the parking lot...
 
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  • #6,096
WWGD said:
Summer sale at the German food store: The best of the Wurst.
So, brats made from chicken would be the Wurst of the Breast?
 
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  • #6,097
zuz said:
Gandi was a small, thin man who spoke to God. Because he walked around barefoot a lot he had huge calluses on his feet. He also ate poorly so he suffered from bad breath. So basically you could say he was a supercallusedfragilmystichexedwithhalitosis.
Between the way you spell Gandi and the rest of the world spells Ghandi, there's one H of a difference.
 
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  • #6,098
Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
No, it's "to whom".

- courtesy of a random QI clip on YouTube.
 
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  • #6,099
Borg said:
So, brats made from chicken would be the Wurst of the Breast?
Brustwurst? It's not a thing, however.
 
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  • #6,101
Screenshot_20190815-111901.jpg
 
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  • #6,102
After I lost my first point in tennis I learned the meaning of love.
 
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  • #6,103
At the category theory we had coffee in the morning and ffee in the afternoon.(Extra nerd joke).
 
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  • #6,104
WWGD said:
At the category theory we had coffee in the morning and ffee in the afternoon.(Extra nerd joke).
And here are the morphisms:
kaffee-auftrieb-28295392.jpg
 
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  • #6,105
WWGD said:
At the category theory we had coffee in the morning and ffee in the afternoon.(Extra nerd joke).
This can be used in so many situations! Ever tried to call someone cosmart?
Blessed are who have the forgetful functor at hand if <any regretful event>.
 
  • #6,106
colonoscopy.jpg
 
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  • #6,107
9 juan juan.jpg
 
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  • #6,108
"Who wants to learn Roman numerals?"

"Well, I for one."
 
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  • #6,109
Triple Pun, recently seen:
Screen Shot 2019-08-16 at 8.58.46 PM.png
 
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  • #6,110
I will grow my own food from now on. That should be much healthier. Does anyone know where to get pizza seeds?
 
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  • #6,111
Back to Pirates.
Why do pirates never test message?

Because they like to communicate Aye to Aye.
 
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  • #6,112
Why does pirate have a parrot on his shoulder?

What! You think an elephant would sit still?
 
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  • #6,113
fresh_42 said:
I will grow my own food from now on. That should be much healthier. Does one know where to get pizza seeds?
I don't know.

Try something easy first though to hone your green thumb.
Such as spaghetti cultivation.
 
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  • #6,114
256bits said:
Why does pirate have a parrot on his shoulder?
Why does the parrot keep saying "Pieces of Seven! Pieces of Seven!"?
It's a parity error.
 
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  • #6,115
I do not know much Pirate and Parrot humor but I am expert in Elephant.

What do you call Batman and Robin after they tangle with arch-nemesis Elephant?
Flatman and Ribbon

How do you train your pet elephant not to jump in your lap?
No idea but do NOT sit next to me!

Which Libertarian philosopher wears knee socks, loves young students, and weighs a ton?
Elephant Rand or Ayn Elephant, whichever is funnier.
 
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  • #6,116
Klystron said:
I am expert in Elephant
I found that the most hilarious.
 
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  • #6,117
After being told that there were No More Chances, Final, that we kids had to go to bed, even with company over.

My brother bet me a buck that he could get away with one more trip downstairs to bug the adults.

He walked downstairs and asked, in a rather serious tone, as if it really bothered him, and asked "Dad, what do you get when you mix a Rhinoceros with an Elephant.?"

Mom, Dad and Company were all silent looking at him, dad, guardedly said He 'was not sure, what do you think?'

My brother told him "Elephino" and walked away leaving a group of stunned silent adults until my brother had made it all the way back to bed and told me to pay up!
 
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  • #6,118
what does blues music and family have in common?They both suck
 
  • #6,119
GJ5-h8OVeK24QW3BLW7JL3PtCk&_nc_ht=scontent.fham1-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,120
Gotta be careful with them greens, I heard they were Powerful antioxidants. Bacon with salad bits fer sure the way to go, although some radish, baby spinach and fried onions would go good with that, hashbrowns and 4 eyes over easy...and the order of bacon stays right there.

See, one needs to remember that the brain does not run so much on sugars and starch as it does fats and oils, so bacon is brain food!
 
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  • #6,121
Did someone mention Elephant?

How do you put high heel shoes on an Elephant?
Tell her that they make her legs look slender.

A vicar, a monk, and an Elephant walk into a Starbucks.
"One decaf Latte with whipped cream, one plain tea, plus all the Peanuts in Perth, please!"
 
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  • #6,122
Someone asked me: "Excuse me, do you know what time it is?"
I said "Yes".
 
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  • #6,123
GgDMGHx3GLZqM97rLpYLoNFdOs&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,124
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses,
dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded,
amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed

Roget's thesaurus.jpg
 
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  • #6,125
got the spider.jpg
 
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