Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

When that cartoon was first published in 1993, I clipped it from my wife's New Yorker magazine and put it on my office door. The college where we both taught had recently gotten Internet access, and I had started participating in that era's social media, Usenet.

Slightly OT
Those were the days my friend.

I once ran a Usenet node off a Convergent Technologies Megaframe (CTIX 20 MHz 68020). UUCP to UUCP via 1200/2400 modem.
https://www.tuhs.org/Usenet/comp.unix.misc/1991-June/000595.html

 

[davenn]

Spoiler

Monty Python

 

[Ibix]

African or European?

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 334394

Spoiler

Monty Python

11-12, 8 minutes to go, and you are here?

Sorry, Dave.

 

[davenn]

11-12, 8 minutes to go, and you are here?

Sorry, Dave.

Seriously annoyed that they lost by one point

 

[fresh_42]

Seriously annoyed that they lost by one point

I would be annoyed for losing against a team that didn't lay a single try!

 

[davenn]

African or European?

African, European swallows are non-migratory

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 334406

Why are such things true across cultures?

 

[Orodruin]

African or European?

African, obviously. European swallows are too small. Then on the other hand … African swallows are non-migratory.

 

[fresh_42]

African or European?

bottle-green.

 

[topsquark]

bottle-green.

Blue! No! Yellow... Aarrgghh!!

-Dan

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 334065

https://fracturedfaithblog.com/2018/05/29/dont-press-that-button/

D'oh!

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

Proof of global warming. Questions?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 334494

Hubcap?

 

[Borg]

Hubcap?

Ash tray from when they used to allow smoking in restaurants.

Unfortunately, I remember seeing those.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Krakenn]

View attachment 334508

So true

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 334524

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlantic_canary

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

Ah, Jeez, I REALLY didn't plan on going for a cross-country run today.

Then those damned game wardens just came out of nowhere.

 

[DrGreg]

I tried to impress a girl by putting my foot down on the pedal.

But she already knew how to open the bin lid.

 

[Swamp Thing]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 334539

Always important to ask - you know what they say about assumptions.

 

[topsquark]

Always important to ask - you know what they say about assumptions.

Yes, so spread the word!

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

How many times did I say it today:
No, it's not a " cool costume", it's my face!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he spends years at C.

 

[topsquark]

Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he spends years at C.

C'mon! Everyone knows that the only letters a pirate knows are "sea, aye, arrrrr, and x"

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Swamp Thing]

C'mon! Everyone knows that the only letters a pirate knows are "sea, aye, arrrrr, and x"

-Dan

What does a pirate say on his eightieth birthday?

"Aye, matey!"

 

[romsofia]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 334612

and for a combination of both those topics (coffins and Egyptians) with a twist .....

When an Egyptian with very little money chose the lowest bidder for their mummification…….You get Marge from the Simpsons

 

[Borg]

When an Egyptian with very little money chose the lowest bidder for their mummification…….You get Marge from the Simpsons

And salad forks for feet.