Collection of Lame Jokes

[topsquark]

And salad forks for feet.

And two missing toes.

Actually, I've only watched a couple of episodes of the Simpsons. Do they have the correct number of digits?

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

Let's call it a draw!​

 

[berkeman]

Actually, I've only watched a couple of episodes of the Simpsons. Do they have the correct number of digits?

It would appear not...

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/the-simpsons--504332858285519327/

 

[jack action]

I wonder if the guy who coined the term "One Hit Wonder" came up with any other phrases.

 

[Arjan82]

Let's call it a draw!​

View attachment 334639

It's just a flesh wound!

 

[Arjan82]

It would appear not...

View attachment 334640
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/the-simpsons--504332858285519327/

Seems like it depends on which foot of the mummy you take...

 

[Ibix]

Actually, I've only watched a couple of episodes of the Simpsons. Do they have the correct number of digits?

There's an episode where Lisa reads a popsci magazine and tells Bart that it says that in a million years humans will all have an extra finger. That prompts a long closeup of Bart's hand with its three fingers and a thumb, with Bart commenting "Five fingers! Weird...".

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nuuskur]

nevermind the grammar

 

[phinds]

Ah, the woodworkers lament:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[pinball1970]

Kamala Harris: “Great Conference Rishi, Hi five!”

Rishi Sunak:

 

[fresh_42]

Kamala Harris: “Great Conference Rishi, Hi five!”

Rishi Sunak:

This is eerie!

Rishi Sunak was born in England in 1980 as the eldest of three siblings. His father Yashvir was born in what was then the British colony of Kenya and his mother Usha was born in what was then the British mandate of Tanganyika (now Tanzania). Both families originally came from the Indian Punjab and emigrated from East Africa to Southampton in Hampshire in the 1960s, where they met.

The Demons of Punjab
.
Ryan Sinclair: Did you hear the noises in the valley in the night?
Prem: The violence is getting closer.
Ryan Sinclair: Who's doing this stuff?
Prem: Ordinary people who've lived here all their lives, whipped into a frenzy to be part of a mob. There's nothing worse than when ordinary people lose their minds. We've lived together for decades, Hindu, Muslim and Sikh, and now we're being told that our differences are more important than what unites us.
...
...
Nani Umbreen: I was the first woman married in Pakistan, and I was the first Muslim woman to work in a textile mill in South Yorkshire.

The German synch put Nani in Southhampton, not South Yorkshire.

Everyone talks about The Simpsons foreshadowing real events. The Doctor does this apparently, too. The episode had been broadcast 4 years before Rishi became Prime Minister.

 

[fresh_42]

Kids used to write everything down in a diary and get angry if someone read it.

Nowadays kids put everything online and get angry if no one reads it.​

 

[Borg]

Kamala Harris: “Great Conference Rishi, Hi five!”

Rishi Sunak:

OR.

Kamala Harris: "Talk to the hand"

Rishi Sunak:

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: Caution! Another "Ouch" one.

 

[pinball1970]

OR.

Kamala Harris: "Talk to the hand"

Rishi Sunak:

Meme potential

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

Why did the European settlers on Mauritius exterminate all the big flightless birds they found there?

Because they were tired of constantly stepping in piles of dodo doodoo.

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[nuuskur]

this got me in stitches

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 334790
this got me in stitches

The scary thing is, I have a friend who honestly would not understand this joke.

-Dan

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 334545

She has a foot missing!?

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

She has a foot missing!?

No idea, though I doubt she could move around like that if she did.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DaveC426913]

Not a lame joke, just an admission.How I feel answering any question in the hard science subforums.

 

[berkeman]

Not a lame joke, just an admission.

Believe me, I feel the same when cautiously venturing out into other forums here. We have amazing subject matter experts here in the Mentor and SA corps.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[strangerep]

No idea, though I doubt she could move around like that if she did.

She probably just removed her prosthetic for the pic. A single nightstand getting ready for a one night stand?

Adam Hills gets around pretty well with just one foot. See his recent tv show "Grow Another Foot" about a (very) rough rugby competition for disabled people. According to Adam, it's about a bunch of disabled people trying to make each other even more disabled.

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 334833

That's the joke I meant to post and then forgot what it was.

Wife: "Oh my God, Honey! Bag your bags! I won the lottery!"
Husband: "That's wonderful babe! Just lemme know what am I packing for - mountains or beach?"
Wife: "I don't care - just get out!"

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]