Collection of Lame Jokes

[DrGreg]

When a man gives his girlfriend a diamond ring, would you call that "carbon dating"?

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Ibix]

Related - the Chief Stoker's Principle: if at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.

 

[WWGD]

Related: the Chief Stoker's Principle: if at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.

Too legit to hit. Don't hurt them, Hammer (US celebrities dish).

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 319066

You forgot the (in)famous duct tape.

 

[kuruman]

View attachment 319066

That reminds of the three fundamental equations in Electrical Engineering
$$\begin{align} & V=IR \\ & I=V/R \\& R=V/I \end{align}$$

 

[jbriggs444]

Related - the Chief Stoker's Principle: if at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.

If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

 

[Arjan82]

 

[jack action]

That reminds of the three fundamental equations in Electrical Engineering
$$\begin{align} & V=IR \\ & I=V/R \\& R=V/I \end{align}$$

The worst thing is that for some, this is not a joke.

I remember meeting a retired electrician and he was so proud to show me: (1) he had a calculator; (2) he had a list of equations inside his calculator case, something like this (Yep, it is still available on the Web):

I only saw 2 [very simple, very basic] equations, that I know by heart even though electricity is not my domain. I wanted to tell him that it was just the same two equations rearranged differently, but I could see the mathematical concept would just go over his head. Still, he was proudly - half-joking, half-serious - saying stuff like: "See, I'm almost an engineer!"

 

[kuruman]

The worst thing is that for some, this is not a joke.

I remember meeting a retired electrician and he was so proud to show me: (1) he had a calculator; (2) he had a list of equations inside his calculator case, something like this (Yep, it is still available on the Web):

View attachment 319083​

I only saw 2 [very simple, very basic] equations, that I know by heart even though electricity is not my domain. I wanted to tell him that it was just the same two equations rearranged differently, but I could see the mathematical concept would just go over his head. Still, he was proudly - half-joking, half-serious - saying stuff like: "See, I'm almost an engineer!"

No, this is no joke. I can see how the chart can be useful when people cannot trust themselves to do the required simple algebra in their heads. They don't want to build something only to discover that it cannot pass the smoke test.

 

[256bits]

History? What about all the other grades? I was trying to find connections to glowing noses and maintaining an A in Science.
That's what happens when you spend too much time deciphering physics jokes.

He should have gone from D- to A+ in gym.

 

[davenn]

Spoiler: for the youngin's amongst us

 

[dextercioby]

 

[pinball1970]

He should have gone from D- to A+ in gym.

I think improved grades in science and maths due to his contribution to novel flight navigational systems was warranted.

 

[pinball1970]

festive..

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[nsaspook]

Sword-Wielding Suspect Arrested After Showering In Random House

You would think a well know big publishing company would have better security,

 

[berkeman]

well know big publishing company

LOL

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

He should have gone from D- to A+ in gym.

His school was so fancy, it didn't just have a gym, it had a James.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[phinds]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

Don't know about you folks but this is definitely true for me:

 

[jtbell]

Also note the state just west of "North" Dakota and Nebraska.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 319168

But doesn't everybody do that on their phones nowadays? Either your bank app or your health app, take your pick.

 

[WWGD]

But doesn't everybody do that on their phones nowadays? Either your bank app or your health app, take your pick.

Check their balance ?