Collection of Lame Jokes

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A man was speeding down the Interstate at 130mph in his new Vet convertible. A state trooper stopped him and said, “My shift is nearly over and it’s Friday. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I’ve not heard before I won’t give you a ticket”. Without blinking the man told him, “Well, a year ago my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were him trying to bring her back”. The trooper let him go.

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fresh_42 said:
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So, God's in the Garden of Eden talking to Adam when Adam sees another guy off in the distance and asks God, "Hey, who's that" and God says "Oh, that's Keith Richards. He was here when I got here".
 
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Getting mythology wrong is my Hercules ankle.

I have an unconscious bias. I’m biased firmly against being unconscious.

Everyone says your 20s are all about finding yourself and your 30s are about wishing you’d found somebody else.

There’s a lot of shame surrounding sex. After I have sex with someone, they often whisper “that’s was a shame”.

Last year, I had a great joke about inflation, but it’s hardly worth it now.
 
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You haven't really seen Barbie until you see it in the original Klingon!​


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The International Origami Group had a plan to conquer the world. But it folded.
 
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