Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

Spoiler

Then I have to get medicine from the elves of Rivendell and my health insurance does not cover it.

Spoiler

You need to get elf insurance instead

 

[fresh_42]

Why are there no posts from apparently very important people here on PF?

Spoiler

I mean, I haven't found a single post from General Physics, General Math, General Engineering or General Discussion!
And why don't we have Admirals on PF?

 

[mfb]

We have

Spoiler

posts from General Scientist

 

[Ibix]

Another board I read has a knight, Sir Chenjin (say it out loud).

 

[davenn]

 

[Pepper Mint]

I don't understand this one.

 

[davenn]

I don't understand this one.

the fridge one ? really ?

 

[mfb]

Well, the cookies are all on the dark side.

 

[DrClaude]

Well, the cookies are all on the dark side.

Clever link to @davenn's avatar.

 

[davenn]

this is REALLY bad ...

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14517377_319800775048236_2315196952775914869_n.jpg?oh=364d094081a4d86f3d1db1a22869e269&oe=58736A51

 

[Kevin McHugh]

this is REALLY bad ...

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14517377_319800775048236_2315196952775914869_n.jpg?oh=364d094081a4d86f3d1db1a22869e269&oe=58736A51

I'm groaning through my laughing, or laughing through my groaning. It must be communative

 

[davenn]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xtl1/v/t1.0-9/14432998_10155112462060476_8117483347922802860_n.jpg?oh=ff4c90d8851fa4583bb40eef1e37fcf1&oe=58766680&__gda__=1484637153_b9b35e6a30edc2510e8760d2f8b23b48

 

[fresh_42]

<image>

Yep, got it. But you shouldn't tell when women are around.

 

[davenn]

Yep, got it. But you shouldn't tell when women are around.

hahaha ...

 

[davenn]

hahaha

 

[tensor0910]

How do you get down from an elephant?

You dont, you get it from a duck...I'll let myself out now.

 

[Fervent Freyja]

"Everyone knows its not the size of the vector that matters, but the way the force is delivered."

 

[fresh_42]

"Everyone knows its not the size of the vector that matters, but the way the force is delivered."

I'm glad you said this.

 

[Fervent Freyja]

I'm glad you said this.

"Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state?"

 

[jtbell]

Is this the lame jokes thread or the lame pickup lines thread?

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Is this the lame jokes thread or the lame pickup lines thread?

Is there pickup lines thread?

 

[Pepper Mint]

Is there pickup lines thread?

I can't help posting instead of just clicking 'like' bhuhha.

 

[Pepper Mint]

Is this the lame jokes thread or the lame pickup lines thread?

It's not lame to see mother and daughter playing in the same movie, it it ?

 

[Fervent Freyja]

I can't help posting instead of just clicking 'like' bhuhha.

Can't help it, some more pick-up lines :

"I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body."

"If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes."

Would these pick-up lines make you swoon, Pepper Mint? I wouldn't be able to stop laughing...

 

[Ibix]

Would these pick-up lines make you swoon, Pepper Mint? I wouldn't be able to stop laughing...

I think if I tried any of these lines most people on the receiving end would think I am the lame joke. Probably including the relatively small number of people who would actually understand them

 

[Pepper Mint]

Can't help it, some more pick-up lines :

"I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body."

"If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes."

Would these pick-up lines make you swoon, Pepper Mint? I wouldn't be able to stop laughing...

Yes, PepperMint couldn't walk anymore.

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Probably including the relatively small number of people who would actually understand them

That's odd. PepperMint & I would enjoy that. Far more classy than the the lines we've heard before.

Reading posts on here that I cannot fully comprehend actually makes me swoon. Talk QFT to me and I'd turn into putty. On the spot.

 

[Ibix]

That's odd. PepperMint & I would enjoy that.

I did say "most people". And I refuse to believe otherwise without a peer-reviewed reference.

 

[mfb]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Something about excitations? Real vs. virtual? Propagator? Expectation values?

 

[Filip Larsen]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Something about entanglement, spin and double slits perhaps? I am already regretting writing this ...

 

[Ibix]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Something about excitations? Real vs. virtual? Propagator? Expectation values?

"I'd love to study the excitations of your quantum fields"

"Can I apply my particle creation operator to your Hilbert space?"

I have a feeling I would be remaining in my eigenstate if I employed either of those.

 

[DrGreg]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?

 

[Borg]

I find myself both laughing and not laughing at these.

 

[fresh_42]

How about the answers?

"Can I apply my particle creation operator to your Hilbert space?"

The expected lifetime isn't worth trouble.

 

[Ibix]

The expected lifetime isn't worth trouble.

 

[fresh_42]

Another one:

Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?

Catch me if you can.

Or: Hi, my name is $\nu_\tau$.

 

[mfb]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?

No, but a strict lower limit.
Pickup line uncertainty principle: We either know how lame a pickup line is, or how to use it. You cannot know both at the same time with arbitrary precision.

Or: Hi, my name is $\nu_\tau$.

"You won't even notice me"?
"Only your mom is massive enough to detect me"?

 

[jtbell]

I find myself both laughing and not laughing at these.

In other words you're in a superposition state which causes humo(u)r oscillations.

 

[davenn]

"You won't even notice me"?
"Only your mom is massive enough to detect me"?

leave my mom outta this hahaha

 

[davenn]

This is a couple of TV program screen dumps
Don't know if you have this show in the USA or elsewhere > " Have you been paying attention"

The host in the top pic asking a panel of 5 local celeb's about various things from the week that's been news
there's always silly responses as well as the correct answer

I think the actual Q was in relation to the gravity wave discovery a month or so back

but the cheeky response is probably very appropriate hahaDave

 

[davenn]

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10419018_10152622938353678_3693372614087749544_n.jpg?oh=7a88d08e0071f2555231a8163f726abe&oe=587506D3

 

[davenn]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Expectation values?

I don't get that one. What is being measured? Time?

Coupling constants, tunneling, harmonic oscillator, bound states, on all Four(s)ier transformations, Large Hadron Collide-r, heat transfer, or wave function collapse might work? Okay, I will stop now...

 

[mfb]

The Large Hardon Collider is a classic typo.

 

[Bandersnatch]

The Large Hardon Collider is a classic typo.

 

[DrClaude]

What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor?

Spoiler

Can you make me one with everything?

 

[Fervent Freyja]

What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor?

Spoiler

Can you make me one with everything?

...The vendor then gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"

The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14581330_2137663706459046_2656123900574402272_n.jpg?oh=ad06adebef5bb3a20ad7a2c5cb1b4fc6&oe=58AA69B7

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Turtle-related: